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I fail to understand what my mom's caseworker said. Based on a needs evaluation by the agency on aging, her caseworker said she could be approved for 31 hours per week but couldn't be left alone at all.


I had a phone call about a job I really wanted, they want me to fill out an application and come in for an interview ASAP, I know these people and I'm fairly certain they want to offer me something but I don't know what to tell them. They know my situation, that I'm staying with my mom because she won't go to the nursing home. There would be drive time to and from work plus some overtime requirements and that is if I always go straight to work and then straight home, no extra stops so my mom might be left alone 50 to 60 hours per week.


Because I moved in with my mom about a year ago and live with her, she can only get a maximum of 31 hours, her caseworker told me if I moved out of her house, she would have to go to a nursing home. Due to the COVID-19 virus, her caseworker has never visited here, everything has been done over the phone, USPS and internet.


If my mom's home care agency is unable to unwilling to cover the hours available to them, then I don't think they have any right to complain when I'm not there when they arrive or need to leave. I will let the home care agency have as many of the available hours as they want, I won't put in to get paid for any hours myself unless they can't fill all the available hours, my income will come from another source.


I sometimes think my mom pretends to need more help than she actually does. Today my mom got up all by herself and with the assistance of her walker went to the bathroom and came back. She even walked around the house several times by herself. I can't just watch her like a hawk and chase after her every time she gets up 24/7, that's going to wear me down to where I can't do it no more.


Isn't there anything between the approved 31 hours and a nursing home? I could stay there from 5pm to 7am and cover the weekends. I have to sleep now anyhow when I'm here, what is really the difference if I'm sleeping or out of the house? There's no way I can stay here 24/7 with no help and not sleep.

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Very few people WANT to go to a Nursing Home.
Very many people NEED to go to a Nursing Home.

If she can't afford to pay for a 24/7 caregiver, and she needs 24/7 care, off to a NH she goes.

It sounds like she has lived a very long life. It's unfair for you to not work, and preventing you from providing for your own future, to take care of her. If you do this your children (if you have any) will be in the same position as you are in the future.
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SGeorge24 May 2021
How am I supposed to "force" her to to to a nursing home? Her doctor told me next time she was admitted to the hospital he would see what he could do. She hasn't been admitted in over 3 years now. After a fall, she was taken to the ER but they checked her out, did x-rays and told me they weren't going to admit her and I had to take her home. Last October I took her to the doctor because she couldn't walk, he put her on antibiotics for a UTI, prescribed her a wheelchair, told me to be sure she was getting plenty of water, and said I could try taking her to physical therapy. Since then I've taken her to physical therapy where they got her walking again, they said she had strength in her legs, it's been her balance and fear of falling that was keeping her from walking. I've also had her to see her doctor every 3 months for a medication review and he does a blood draw but he said all her lab work is coming back okay.

She had dementia way back before I realized it and she's made some questionable transactions. Let's just say I've been told she could get as much as a 6 month penalty when she applies for NH Medicaid. Medicaid Waiver for Home Care doesn't have a lookback. I have a cousin who told me when my mom is notified by medicaid of her 6 month penalty, the NH will give her a 3 day notice to pay or vacate, then I'll be forced to take her back home and care for her at home.

I have durable POA for financial but she didn't do the medical one because she didn't want anyone ever making any of her medical decisions for her. She also has times where she appears completely lucid.
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Do you have POA? How far advanced is Moms Dementia? Because, its no longer what she wants, but what she needs.

I have read you posts and you seem so ready to get back to work.
You ask questions concerning Medicaid in home that we just can't answer. Every State is different. You really need to run this all by the caseworker. It may come down to you have no option but to place Mom in LTC.
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Talk to the supervisor, say your taking a job, what is their plan of action.
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