MIL passed this morning and I am trying to be useful. I am not very good with grief or death. I am trying to give people space. I know it sounds horrible but I can not cry over this. I just feel relief for myself and her for no longer being in pain.
Is there a list of things you need to do for the estate? How long does it take for the Medicaid papers to come? Who do you give death certificates to?
This seems rather basic but I would appreciate the help.
My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.
As far as death certificates go, I have given away exactly ONE copy that wasn't returned, and that was when I sold my parents' house in July. Otherwise, everyone who asks for a death certificate, including banks, has always made a copy and handed it back. I was talked into buying a dozen copies (at $21 apiece here in California) when my dad died, and I still have...a dozen copies. I bought five when Mom died last year, and I have four left. Don't get talked into buying a fistful of those things. You can always order more if you needed them -- and you won't.
The mortuary will notify Social Security that MIL has died, and they'll likely yank back her check from this month, so be prepared for that. The bank may lock her account once they get that SS withdrawal to prevent any unauthorized activity unless someone else is also on the account.
Right now, all you have to do is deal with any services you might plan, and even that can wait a couple of days. Someone will need to go to the mortuary in the next day or two to make decisions. There are lots of people along the way who will assist in guiding you, but don't be talked into buying things you don't want. Both my folks were cremated, and I had Dad taken to the local mortuary everyone used back in 2018. His cremation cost $2500 (including all those blasted death certificates and not including an urn), and by the time Mom passed, I'd wised up and sent her to a cremation-only place that charged about $795. Their ashes were interred together in a cemetery last year, and that 12"x12" niche was the most expensive part of the whole thing.
I can't speak to Medicaid as we didn't have any experience with that.
Condolences, and just BREATHE and decompress for a while.
Where I live the Funeral director contacts Social Security of MILs death. SS will not be sent in Nov because she died in October. Like when u work, SS monies are received a certain time of the month and those monies are for the previous month. My funeral director provided 10 death certificates, one going to SS. The cost 5 years ago was $10 each. That cost was included in the cost of the funeral. Some on this forum have said they received the certificates later. I got mine the day of the funeral.
Her estate should not be much and the Executor named in the Will will be the one to handle it. In my State you cannot open probate until 9 or 10 days after the death. The Executor will file the Will and be given a list of things he/she needs to do to close out probate. In my state its a minimum of 8 months. All debts will need to be paid. Taxes and water bills unpaid will be part of the selling of the house also the lien on the house.
When my Mom passed I never received a recovery letter. I was aware of what the lien amt would be because I asked Moms caseworker if I could have a letter acknowledging it. I ended up calling Medicaid recovery when I didn't receive the letter. Turns out that Dept was not told about Moms death. So they sent along the questionaire. Sale of Moms house covered Moms Medicaid and back taxes. Medicaid told me that paperwork is sent to the NH and they give the contact info. If you don't hear in a couple of months I would call. Since the home she was in was subpar, they probably don't have office staff.
As said, you do not have to worry about the estate. Thats the Executors job. If no will then Probate can assign an administrator who does everything the Executor does, the difference, the State determines the beneficiaries. SS already has the death certificate. If MIL had a pension, they have to be made aware of her death and will probably ask for a death certificate. If she had any credit card debts, they may want one. The bank may want one. As said, I had 9 and still have some left.
Don't get ahead of yourself. This is not your responsibility. Its the Executors. Probate is very good with answering questions. The executor will get a short certificate giving him/her the ability to talk to creditors, utility companies, banks, etc.
Let the funeral happen. Nothing of Moms has to be done right away. It will take a while for hospital bills to come in. Executor can't go to the bank until he gets the short certificate and he can't get that until he/she opens probate. There is no timeline to close probate. It took me 2 yrs because it took that long to sell the house.