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(This is NOT a case of dementia. She does not have dementia.) As of today, I am officially no longer going to be able to bathe my mother in the house. Despite all of our shower/bathroom upgrades and safety precautions, I just can't do it anymore! She cries and collapses and acts like I'm abusing her! She's too weak to be transferred, using all of her durable medical equipment, and it has become unsafe and UNPLEASANT. I want to drop her off at a facility that is equipped to bathe her safely. (Specifically, in south Florida.)

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You mention you are unable to transfer her, is she in a wheelchair? You mention medical equipment, exactly how accessible is the bathroom and is she having a shower or a bath? Since she has no dementia she should be able to tell you exactly what her objection is and you can work at overcoming it, perhaps something as simple as a heater in the bathroom?

If there are truly no changes needed to make the bathroom safer and more inviting then my advice would be to contact a care agency to hire a bath aide who can come into your home.
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Agree with cwillie, hving a bath aide come to the house would probably be the best solution. Could Mom be transferred to a shower chair and wheeled into the shower. They are made from poly pipe like a skeleton W/C with toilet set in centre and the patient sits on that and gets washed. It would be possible to do the transfer outside the bathroom where there is more room to manipulate a hoyer lift for example. Keep her warm and as wrapped up as possible. Doesn't mean she will be pleasant and co-operative but it may make it easier. Also talk to her Dr's office about getting some home care assistance or hire privately
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There are personal care attendents that may be able to help or some adult day care places provide this service and you get a break.
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Since she's too weak to be transferred your mom might be at the point of needing bed baths as opposed to showers in the bathroom. Like cwillie suggested, you can get a referral for a bath aide through your mom's Dr.'s office. The aide will come to the house and bathe your mom in her bed. Once the aide is finished she will clean up and get your mom dressed and into her w/c and ready for the day.

People often have to be bathed in bed when they can't get into the bathroom anymore for whatever reason. The "bath", when done by a professional, is done with no mess and only a few towels and a washcloth or two leftover.
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Thank you, everyone. Your answers are all very helpful. My mom is not quite ready for bed "baths," so I am still interested in the other solutions. Indeed, a home health aide is required, but even at that, I'm sure my mother will still be giving her a hard time.

I really like the idea of the shower chair and the heater. Up until yesterday, she was able to walk into the shower (customized, level flooring) with her walker and then hold onto the grab bars, while I removed her walker and gave her a shower. It was NEVER enjoyable for either of us, but I got it done within 4 minutes. But due to her anemia, which is making her weak, the whole experience is just becoming more and more dangerous. She has recently lost her standing tolerance, and now must transfer to a commode chair. But it's not safe (again, due to her weakness), and the drama is not worth it!

Transferring her to a shower chair and rolling her in sounds like a wonderful fix. $$$ Wow, more money, more money... Hoping a doctor's script might get us a chair through Medicare.

Thank you!
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Wow, installing grab bars is a good first step but there are so many more adaptations that can make her life easier. Since she can walk and get into the shower she really doesn't need to invest in a shower wheelchair, a simple shower chair is basic equipment and costs much less. Get one with a back and arms, better to buy more than needed than to have to buy twice (speaking from experience).
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