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My father died in April. He wasn't afraid of dying he was afraid of living in an unacceptable condition like stroke or something that made his life unbearable but seemingly unending. He saw my grandfather have a stroke after surgery and was not able to do for himself. You might want to talk to him to find out what has him starving himself. Tell him you're worried but you don't want to force anything on him that will make his life unbearable. Be understanding and supportive of his feelings and he may tell you what's on his mind. It seems that his fears are controlling him now. You won't get anywhere until you show acceptance of his needs and wants.
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I am sorry...Here is the complete question. My 89 year old father, who was in good health a month ago, has been in bed for the last 10 days, eating very little, if anything and only drinking when I force it on him. He refuses to go to the hospital, and cried when I told him I was calling 911. He begs me to just leave him alone. I did manage to get him into the dr. last tuesday and he drew blood and said that his kidney function was down and calcium level up. He wanted to admit him, but my father refused. I am at my wits end. Do I just let him lay there until he dies? It is breaking my heart.
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Such a tough situation. Maybe you could call for his doctors advice with an update of his status? I would probably enlist the help of family or friend to get him to the ER. In meantime, load him up with water as fast as you can get it in him. Sr''s hve decreased sense of thirst. Feed him ice chips, put bendy straw in his glass so he can drink without sitting up. Are you POA? Does he have an advanced directive? I know this has to feel overwhelming, I'll be thinking of you.
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