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Thinking about it - it upsets him - he can't help it. He frequently says he should just kill himself. Would medication help, or not?

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Tookie, if you're able to see a specialist like those the other commenters suggested, I would definitely do that. Primaries, even well-loved and trusted ones, are jacks-of-all-trades but masters of none. A specialist will have a deeper knowledge of dementia behaviors, causes, how to treat for it and newest and best info, as well as familiarity with drug interaction (which is a common issue for seniors).

When my 90+ yo aunt was in the late beginnings of her dementia she'd weep and lament loudly, "Jesus! Help me! Dear God I can't take it anymore! Help me God!" over and over. It was so distressing. Her sister finally got her on some meds for her mood and it has helped her a lot (not to mention it helped the sister)!
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If you aren't confident in your regular doctor then perhaps a gerontologist, geriatric psychiatrist, or a neurologist specializing in his form of dementia.
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It would be worth a try certainly.

I hope you find him something that helps his torment.
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Tookie Jan 2020
Thank you. I will ask his Primary when he's back from vacarion, although i wonder if i should ask a different professional.
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