My dad is 83 and still living at home but requires a lot of interaction and care. Going to appointments, picking up prescriptions, phone calls, personal shopper requests, and generally a lot of interaction. He has iPhone and is active on Facebook, and messenger too. I am constantly monitoring his emails and Facebook in an effort to block him from interacting with scams on links, romance scams, etc. he gets probably 12 calls a day from people trying to scam him about winning money, Medicare changes, senior benefits, etc. he is pretty good about knowing what may be a scam. But he is not savvy enough to know when he gets a message on messenger with a link from a “friend” that clicking that link can download malware to his phone. I am most concerned about keyloggers on his phone because he also logs into his 1 credit card and his online bank acct everyday. Can a keylogger be downloaded to his phone? He has one account at the bank that has over quite a bit of money in it and it concerns me. Someone suggested that we put that money into a trust. We already have a living trust that protects the house. Can it be put into that same trust? And would the trust be subject to Medicaid look back if he ever applied for Medicaid? Unfortunately he has a bad back and diabetes. And possible back surgery coming up.
These are attorney questions. If your Dad has a living Trust then he can use IT to pay scammers as well as any other account. Most living trusts have bank accounts on which checks can be written by the trustee. If that remains you Dad, he can use trust money from a living trust any way he wishes.
You badly need the advice of an attorney. See an elder law person. Go with your Dad. Be sure you get a good POA in place, one that allows you to use and manage accounts and bills while your Dad has a sort of "allowance account" for spending. This protects your father. The attorney will explain choices and options.
When my brother was diagnosed with "probable early Lewy's dementia" by his symptoms he made me his POA and his Trustee. I handled all financial things for him and kept records I gave to him monthly and he had his own spending account to use from his assisted living as he chose.
Do see someone to get options for protecting money.
Another option if your Dad is relatively well and can trust himself with his finances is for you to help him mangage accounts monthly and be sure they are locked up in safe CDs.
You really should get together with your Dad and an attorney NOW while Dad is mentally capable of assigning your help to protect him. There will be a lot of options and ways and it will be an education for you, protection for him.
As far as his money you would need to talk to an elder attorney.
If Dad trusts you to take control of the account that has a large amount of money, you could transfer the amount he needs for living expenses onto the prepaid Visa, and protect his larger account from risk.
Next, get with his trust attorney or an attorney who specializes in elder estate planning and make sure you have everything you need to help. Who has financial and medical POA? Who is Trustee (after death)? Are you joint or an authorized signer on his bank accounts?
Regarding cyber safety, if he has an iPhone, there is a setting that silences unknown calls from people not listed in his contacts. That stops the ringing but they can still leave a voicemail or text him. Use the blocking feature to block every unknown number that shows up on his phone from making additional calls. Make sure his contacts are up to date with medical providers, known friends and family, etc, so they won’t be blocked. Try to convince him that he should never click on any link. While you are. Take any steps possible to intercept and get rid of most junk mail coming into his house - especially if it is soliciting money.
Try to take some immediate protective steps with his accounts and also get with a qualified attorney for further guidance. Good luck.
Change his phone number - he should not be subjected to these call(s/ers) at all.
And perhaps consider that he should not be on Facebook at all.
It is 'too' easy for him to potentially give a stranger information that could put him in harms way - an address, a birthdate ... ss # - you do not know what he might do which would be a major problem for him financially and otherwise.
There are scammers all over the place just looking for a vulnerable elder person.
As you need to, block him from using Facebook, computer-media options.
Change his password(s). You SHOULD / NEED TO KNOW WHAT ALL HIS PASSWORDS ARE AND WHERE THEY ARE .
It is just too easy for a person to be scammed. I was and I am / was (?) aware and much younger. It never dawned on me ... when on a dating website. They are just hovering - looking for older women. I am sure it goes the same for an older man. Do not allow this to continue (is my advice).
Gena / Touch Matters
A cellphone is much easier to control. He has known contacts and all other calls stay silenced and only go to voice mail. Many scammers will not bother leaving a voicemail message - they want a live body. But, if they do leave a message, and he calls, then he is susceptible again. That is why someone needs to look at his phone, block unknown numbers and create settings for email to go to spam if from scammers and junk peddlers.
Does he enter sweepstakes from mailings he receives? Or does he contribute to every charity that asks for $ whether you’ve ever heard of it or not? Those are primary ways of ending up on a scammer’s “sucker list”. The phony (and sometimes quasi legitimate) contests almost always ask for age, DOB, telephone number, address, sometimes even last 4 of social. That is because if they are not scammers, they make $ selling sucker lists to scammers.
Change his account to require both your and his signature to cash.
As another responder suggested, give him a pre-paid Visa card with a low balance and block him from accessing social media and his online banking. Please be aware that this may significantly ramp up his paranoia.
Giving him a GrandPad or a dementia-friend device may also be a good strategy. You can being using "therapeutic fibs" with him, like: there's something wrong with his internet account and that's why his wifi access isn't working correctly, etc.
Creating a trust would protect his money from himself, but depending on what state he lives in and how extensive his assets are, can cost a minimum of $1K (based on personal experience of a participant on this site). Me personally in MN it cost us $3600. It is a lot of work to set it up. He has to be assessed by the attorney (not the doctor) that he meets the criteria for legal cognitive capacity. This is usually done by the attorney privately interviewing him to ask him questions and to also make sure he is not being pressured into taking this action.) Please note that (depending on the home state) "capacity" is a low bar, so even if he is forgetful or has very mild dementia, he may still be able to perform certain legal acts such as this.
If you are not his PoA, you (or someone) needs to be. This should happen before creating a trust. If he doesn't have capacity, he won't be able to do it.
See All Answers