She lives with me in NC. Due to her diabetes, I have my mom on a meal schedule, count her carbs, test her blood sugar and give her insulin, and make sure she takes her medication. I have healthy high protein, low carb snacks for her close by. She is prone to UTIs due to her urethra not closing at all, and poor hygiene, and pressure sores because her arthritis makes it painful for her to walk so she will not move around enough, and fungal infections because it is a struggle to get her to bathe. My mother will raid the refrigerator at all hours, drinking a couple of glasses of milk at a time, eating a quart of yogurt in one sitting, etcetera, which sends her blood sugar soaring and all that sugar feeds the fungal and bacterial infections that she is prone to getting.
There is absolutely NO money for a decent nursing home, though her doctor says its getting to that point because she is so resistant to following medical advice. My mom is dead set against a nursing home, and with the lack of funds I can only imagine the sort of place she might wind up. It is getting to the point where if she doesn't comply, the doctor might take steps to take that decision from her. So, is it ok for me to install a lock on the refrigerator to keep her on track for her health? I have tried talking to her, explaining about drinking too much milk and overeating, and she would just snack and eat all day long and get no exercise if I didn't keep my eye on things.
I do have to work, and when I am out of the house ,all bets are off. There is no money for any sort of home health assistance, so I really need to keep her from raiding the refrigerator when I'm at work. I really cringe at the thought of locking the refrigerator but I need ingredients on hand to cook for us, and if I don't prevent her access to it, there is no controlling her blood sugar and helping to prevent the subsequent infections that come from it being too high. Another concern is that when I tell her that her blood sugar is too high, on occasion, she has gotten her insulin from the refrigerator and given herself 60 or 90 units to bring it down, and I am concerned about that, though lately she's been forgetting how to fill a syringe, so that's not the danger it once was.
When her doctor mentioned a nursing home, she got better about regular meal times and bathing, and for about a week, that's been ok, but the snacking continues and I'm having trouble steadying her blood sugar. I'm hoping with a few more weeks of regularly scheduled meals 3 times a day and a couple of low carb snacks, her urge to snack incessantly will stop. She eats when she's bored, and spends all her time on the Internet, so if the Internet goes out or she gets confused and can't remember how to log in, she gets bored and just eats and eats. If we could get her a new prescription for reading glasses, she would read books when she can't get online, but with her blood sugar up and down so much, new glasses would be useless because her vision changes from week to week based on her blood sugar and its effect on her eyes.
I feel like some sort of monster for even asking about the legalities of locking the refrigerator, that seems like such a horrible thing to do. I just don't know how else to keep her on track with her meals and blood sugar control and now that she's afraid of a nursing home after her doctor spoke to her about that two weeks ago, she is more willing to be compliant with her treatment but the snacking is a long ingrained habit.
I agree, your Mom is showing more than just natural aging signs. It could be diabetic related. If she is eating the wrong things when u are working, she could be showing signs like Dementia. Can't remember if its too much blood sugar, too much insulin or low blood sugar but the can become loopy, for a better word. Seems like your doctor is on board with the nursing facility. Might be time to see if you can get Medicaid and place her somewhere. She then will be monitored and you can go to work knowing she is being taken care of. You can visit often. Your health will eventually suffer. If she is ever hospitalized, that will be the time to place her in a facility.
I would worry if you had someone there with her who told her she couldn't eat what she wanted, she'd take the frustration out on the caregiver. Assisted living or board and care might work as long as they understand healthy eating for a diabetic. Adult day care, with lunch, might work for her too.
One good idea that you can do is have a spare fridge in the garage (if you have one) and keep all of the perishable food in there along with her insulin.
Tip:
Having spare appliances in an alternate location will require you to keep that area locked.
* It's not hard to find used appliances at private sales or even a thrift shop at times. You can also run an ad in your local newspaper or even check the current ads for used appliances.
You can also use a spare deep freezer (that's not plugged in) for staples requiring no refrigeration. You can put a lock on spare appliances, and keep healthy snacks for your mom in the main refrigerator that she currently raids. When she realizes that she can't get to anything else but the healthy alternatives, she'll eat those if she's hungry enough.
Another thing I thought of is to look into daytime activities that your mom can participate in such as bingo or other social activities. I know what it's like to be bored and alone, and yes people will start snacking in those conditions even when they're not hungry. Obviously your mom definitely needs more social support than she's getting, or she wouldn't be acting like you're describing. If she was engaged in some kind of activity to actually keep her busy, she wouldn't need those snacks near as bad as she does now. Again, to some point I really do understand what your mom is feeling and what she's going through when it comes to boredom and loneliness.
* If she's home alone with no one to socialize with, there's your problem.
The solution
Perhaps you know someone who lives near you who could come in during the time your mom is alone and sit with her. Remember though, it must be someone you can trust. Perhaps you can make some kind of arrangements with someone, it's really not that hard.
If you put yourself in your mom's shoes, I think you would understand if you tried staying alone with nothing to do for long periods of time. Until you've been there, you really won't understand.
* It really does take someone who's been there to fully understand, so please take it from someone who lives alone and is often bored, and trust me, you too would also find yourself snacking under such conditions. I've been there, I really know what I'm talking about since I've also snacked excessively. I may not be diabetic, but I know what it is to blow right through all the snacks you just brought home just because you're bored and alone. Believe it or not, many people go through this very same thing you're describing, look at the obesity epidemic especially among our youth. Since technology has taken over our society there's less physical activity than there used to be. People don't really exercise as much as they used to because they've become couch potatoes hiding behind a screen. Even all of the TVs and modern homes have tempted people to just plop down and watch a movie, and with that movie comes some kind of snack often one right after the other. This should give you an idea of what society has become. What I have to say gives you a look into today's world and a look back at what we used to be like. We can take back our society one household at a time by incorporating physical activity back into our lives once again. Taking back our society starts with us, because no one will do it for us. Taking back our society starts with our desire to turn it around and actually acting on that desire.
We could not store other foods because she would get into them either to eat or put her hands into it all and the leave them opened. After she ate raw bacon and company desserts at random that needed to set, I moved all other food into a garage refrig.
I lost my grandfather to uncontrolled diabetes. His kidneys failed and dialisis is not fun to watch and him going blind wasn't fun either.