Follow
Share

I’m in the process of trying to talk to mom’s attorneys as I have DPOA. They say they need something in writing from the doctor about her condition. Dementia- with intermittent capacity. Where does this leave me?
Here’s what I want to know from her attorney: If she insists on staying alone am I at risk of some sort of allegations of abuse?
1) She understands she’s signed a contract to sell her house — she doesn’t have the reasoning to start selling off contents or cleaning out the home of extra things, or better yet an estate sale.
2) She knows she has bills to pay and know they must be paid. But she hides her checkbook and mail in many places.
3) She has been told she “shouldn’t” drive and she did have the capacity to sell the car; but when told she “shouldn’t” live alone. She said that’s a shouldn’t, not a “couldn’t. “In fact she does think she can live alone *until* I’m ready to leave on a week’s vacation then she’s coming along.
Do I have any rights in this? Everything is skewed in her favor because of past fraud upon seniors, I get it, but I’m trying to look out for her health, safety and welfare and yet my hands are tied. I don’t know if leaving her here for a week will cause bigger problems. I’m the one fighting the good fight. The doctor just making suggestions with no help. Everyone is covering their butts, I get it, but there’s human beings lives involved here!

Based on what you explained, I do not believe that you can be held accountable for abuse, neglect or anything of the sort.

She is right, shouldn't doesn't mean can't and she doesn't have the needs 24/7 care diagnosis.

Dementia is so hard, my dad was up and down to the point that he was able to keep his drivers license, thank God he never hurt anyone.

Go, enjoy your vacation and let mom have her shouldn't live alone days to see how well she really fairs. I am guessing that she will only have change forced because of a crisis. This is, unfortunately, what many of us have to deal with.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal
Report

You need a good neuro-psyc eval and you need to your POA to let the examining doctor know your mother's limitations in executive functioning and her need to have your POA made clear. This should all be discussed with the MD, and then the attorney.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

This is a TRIPLICATE question so look at other replies as well.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report

Is your POA for financial immediate if so no need for a doctor signing off. But Medical usually needs a doctor to sign off.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report
Mom2MomFl Aug 2, 2024
It is immediate.

I'm the only one here for over a year and a half. I need a break and I would love to go back home for 2 weeks.

The problem seems to be with me…I’m afraid if I leave her alone and drive 8 hours to my home - I need to be sure although she made the decision to stay alone - that I’m not going to be accused of abuse or neglect.

I’m trying my best to get her to come with me but every day is a different answer. It’s too long- I’m tired of pulling teeth it’s making me so stressed out I’m feeling sick myself!
(0)
Report
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter