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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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I walk away, but do not know what to expect in the future, or what action to take.......He is under Med. Dr. supervision........advice please, thank you
Check for Urinary Tract Infection first of all. Especially as this is sudden and instant in your words. If this is not the problem you will need to have transport to hospital for evaluation in Med-psyc unit. He may require placement in order to protect both himself and you and others. Get in touch with Social Worker at once when hospitalized and tell her/him that it is unlikely he can return home to you; you cannot live in fear.
It is common for dementia patients to have temper issues. I agree with AlveDeer to check for a UTI first if this seems like a sudden onset of behavior change.
This article was just reposted in the Discussions section of this form by cxmoody. I was just reading it and coincidentally had just come upon the mention of explosive anger, which clinically they called a "catastrophic reaction". It's not a long read, so maybe it will help you.
If everything checks out , no UTI it can be one of the symptoms of dementia. Some people do get violent. You have to remember 1 thing. If you EVER feel in danger you MUST call 911 and tell the dispatcher that you are afraid for your safety. Explain the situation that the person threatening you has dementia. You then ask for transport to the hospital. It might also be a good idea at this point to discuss if discharging him back to the home is safe. For you or for him. If there are ANY weapons in the house REMOVE them don't just lock them up remove them.
I would also lock up any kitchen knives. They can be placed in a cabinet that you lock. (there are magnetic locks that are placed inside the cabinet that are not visible)
We see a lot of these kinds of posts here, unfortunately, written by the wife of a husband with ALZ/dementia who's become violent or aggressive or full of anger and nasty temperament who takes it out on his wife. She's afraid, doesn't know what to do, and life becomes a nightmare.
If this scenario describes YOUR life, you really only have one choice, and that's to place your husband in a Memory Care Assisted Living residence. Even though it's 'not his fault', he's still angry, full of temper and frightening YOU. And that's not how YOU should be living YOUR life. Right? If he was acting this way and NOT sick, you'd kick him out. But he's sick, so lots & lots & lots of excuses are made for why it's okay and why you should tolerate horrible behavior for way way WAY longer than it would ever be tolerated had disease not been present.
What I'm saying is the God's honest truth.
Speak to his doctor. Everyone here is always talking about "UTI" infections. Providing he DOES NOT have a UTI going on, ask his doctor to UP his medications to calm him down. See if that works. If it doesn't, get him placed. Go back to being a wife instead of a caregiver in fear for her life. Go visit him and leave when he gets angry. Bring him small gifts and the beauty of your time and love. That's all you CAN do at this point.
Know that it IS enough. When disease is at play, we have to take action. If he was having a heart attack, you'd call 911 to take him to the hospital for acute care.
He's having dementia attacks; you place him into managed care for long term help with his day to day care. It makes perfect sense on all levels.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
This article was just reposted in the Discussions section of this form by cxmoody. I was just reading it and coincidentally had just come upon the mention of explosive anger, which clinically they called a "catastrophic reaction". It's not a long read, so maybe it will help you.
https://tinyurl.com/rhkmos9t
You have to remember 1 thing.
If you EVER feel in danger you MUST call 911 and tell the dispatcher that you are afraid for your safety. Explain the situation that the person threatening you has dementia.
You then ask for transport to the hospital.
It might also be a good idea at this point to discuss if discharging him back to the home is safe. For you or for him.
If there are ANY weapons in the house REMOVE them don't just lock them up remove them.
I would also lock up any kitchen knives. They can be placed in a cabinet that you lock. (there are magnetic locks that are placed inside the cabinet that are not visible)
If this scenario describes YOUR life, you really only have one choice, and that's to place your husband in a Memory Care Assisted Living residence. Even though it's 'not his fault', he's still angry, full of temper and frightening YOU. And that's not how YOU should be living YOUR life. Right? If he was acting this way and NOT sick, you'd kick him out. But he's sick, so lots & lots & lots of excuses are made for why it's okay and why you should tolerate horrible behavior for way way WAY longer than it would ever be tolerated had disease not been present.
What I'm saying is the God's honest truth.
Speak to his doctor. Everyone here is always talking about "UTI" infections. Providing he DOES NOT have a UTI going on, ask his doctor to UP his medications to calm him down. See if that works. If it doesn't, get him placed. Go back to being a wife instead of a caregiver in fear for her life. Go visit him and leave when he gets angry. Bring him small gifts and the beauty of your time and love. That's all you CAN do at this point.
Know that it IS enough. When disease is at play, we have to take action. If he was having a heart attack, you'd call 911 to take him to the hospital for acute care.
He's having dementia attacks; you place him into managed care for long term help with his day to day care. It makes perfect sense on all levels.
Best of luck.