My 93-year-old mother-in-law is in an independent living facility, which also has assisted living apartments as well. Guessing there are maybe 150 or so units. She pays about $60K a year in rent, and she gets meals, trips to doctors and shopping, and the usual entertainment and activities.
They have sent everyone a letter asking for tips for all the workers (kitchen, drivers, gardeners, handyman, front desk...), suggesting 10-15% of annual rent is appropriate.
It seems like $6,000 - 9,000 in tips for the year is excessive and even inappropriate. I suppose she could estimate the value of the meals and trips and tip on that, but whatever she tips is going to be distributed among all staff.
So she is wondering what she should do, and asking friends what they do. I fear others will say they tip more than they do to look good to their friends.
I'd like to know if this is a common thing that these places do, and if so, if the request for so much money is way too much. It seems to me that the facility owner is merely getting the renters to help pay their costs.
I am sure they are being paid at minimum wage or above. It is not like they
are dependent on tips, if they are looking for tips, I suggest that they head to
the local steak house and apply for a job as waiter.
However, have you ever worked caring for elders in managed care? Suggesting the CGs 'head to the local steak house & apply for a job as a waiter' indicates you have not cleaned up blow outs or changed incontinence briefs multiple times a day or wiped behinds covered in feces. And kept a smile on your face while doing so. Or answered the same question literally 150x in 15 minutes. Carrying a tray of food to a happy customer or bringing them a 2nd martini does not in any way compare to wiping behinds and caring for your loved one all day long who's suffering from dementia or old age related disease. It's very valid to give them all a tip at the end of the year b/c no matter how much they're paid (or UNDERPAID), it's still not enough to thank them for all they do. I could never put into words or write a check big enough for the loving care and respect they treated my parents with, and how they allowed them both dignity right up to when they took their last breath. You are comparing apples to oranges with your statement about waiters and caregivers.
Caregiving to the elderly is one of THE hardest jobs a person can possibly take on, which is why there is such a high turnover in the industry. There aren't many human beings with enough character, patience, and fortitude to accept SUCH low wages for doing SO much every day for so many people.
"I have to apologize to everyone here. I should have known not to take the word of my mother-in-law, who is getting confused. This whole thing is something created by the community, not the facility. And no one is recommending 10-15%. Jeez. I’m sorry.
Moderator: you can delete this thread if you like."
Tipping in managed care is OPTIONAL. As it is elsewhere. It's the societal norm most people follow, however, when dealing with a SERVICE RELATED INDUSTRY and caregivers who do an awful lot for our loved ones during the year.
I think this has already been going on for years and years. Maybe forever??
Come on guys, take a stand! Stop paying out money in this scam.
That said, if it really is 'the thing to do' in that location, I think it's bad practice - most elder services as trying to draw lines against anything that could become or confused with elder financial abuse, a very serious problem, for both their ethics and liability concerns.
We are in an HOA now that also does not allow tips. The HOA budgets to give the employees a Christmas tip on behalf of the residents… I think we can contribute extra to the total as we choose. Our HOA has only residents on the Board of Directors making decisions best for the whole community.
I have been doing this, voluntarily, for 14 years. Not everyone contributes.
I always wrote a check for $100 at Christmas for the staff at mom's AL, plus I brought in sweets and treats for everyone.
The administration of the facility has no right to ask the residents to start tipping the help. That is so wrong and they should be reported.
I hate when I find a waitress I have tipped well for her service is required to split her tip with the kitchen help. Kitchen help gets paid at least minimum wage unlike waitresses that get about $3.00 an hour plus tips. Busboys yes, they get a % of the waitresses tips.
I worked in an AL facility for some time. I have never heard of aides, housekeeping, kitchen workers, or anyone else on staff ever receiving tips. No way.
AL's and independent-living facilities is collect obscene amounts of money from every resident occupying one of their places. Things like meals, housekeeping, handyman services, aide care, and transportation to appointments are why seniors move to their places. These things are included in the obscene amount of rent that gets paid every month.
So the AL or independent-living community who wants residents to start tipping the staff should reconsider what they do with the money they collect. Instead of making shareholders who own stock in these places richer, they can start paying their help better wages. Then there would be no need to ask the staff to demean themselves by begging for tips from the elderly residents.
If I were you I would take this letter they sent your MIL and make some copies. Send one to your state's Ombudsman's office. Send one to yoru state's Attorney General. Send one to your state's Agency on Aging (if there is one). This may actually be illegal to hit them up for money.
In the meantime, tell your MIL that she already pays for all of these things in her rent payment every month and that she should not give a 'tip' for a service she's already paid very well for.
My so’s work is running a slideshow of staff people earnestly working away like little elves with a caption saying that if everyone just gave three bucks and change A day, their Christmas fund target will be met. Every hourly worker working as of 11/30 gets a share.
- "TRUST BUT VERIFY."
You have to verify everything.