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What are my rights and his, to also be my caregiver?

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If I were responsible for your welfare (as the community management is, to some extent), I would be hearing alarm bells about a professional caregiver, on the one hand, being in an intimate relationship on the other hand with his senior client. It's an ethical nightmare.

If he's your partner and living with you as such, then you as a couple are too young for the community.

If he's your professional caregiver and living with you as such, on duty so to speak, then he shouldn't be in an intimate relationship with you.

He can't have it both ways.
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I guess I would think that if you are a senior citizen and have a twentysomething partner you don't need to have a caregiver.

You live in a place that you agreed to the rules, so you will need to find a different place if you want to move your boyfriend in. Plain and simple, you can't have it both ways.
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Some senior communities have strict guidelines about age. Some are so rigid that even grandchildren are not allowed to spend the night at their residence.

I suppose you were already living in this community before becoming involved with your partner. It doesn’t sound like you are interested in moving.

I suppose you will have to abide by their contract. If you signed it then you’re stuck. They most likely look at it as if you move near train tracks then you can’t complain about the train whistles or having to wait for trains to pass.

Best wishes.
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Interesting question. Are you saying he is living with you as your partner or as your caregiver. I would not think that age restrictions apply to a live in caregiver. I would check with the rent control in your area. I think that they would not want to dabble with a case that could land them in trouble with gay rights associations/rental control, but we would see. Good luck. Hope you can update us.
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worriedinCali Dec 2019
This has nothing to do with gay rights alva or rental control alva....
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In his role as your caregiver, would he be paying any rent? Maybe they are concerned he is really just your partner and is just calling himself a caregiver to avoid community rules? If you were married to him would this be an issue for them? So all live-in caregivers need to be over 55? 65?
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You are better off moving somewhere that is easier for both of you, where people are okay with you two living together and with him being your partner and caregiver. I don't think this is discrimination towards someone is gay, I think that they want to keep this strictly a property for seniors only. They are obviously okay with you, a gay person, living in their property. You may want to ask around and see if you can find properties that have tenants that are okay with LGBT neighbors that live with their partners. I would look for apartments that are senior friendly (things that help seniors on a daily basis: like raised ramps and elevators. Along with plenty of space for moving around in.) but are cool with younger people living there, too.
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I have no advice, but I guess a senior having a 24 year old partner is living the dream, so high five to you!
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