I have finally signed to put husband in NH. I feel it will be better for him and me. He is in late stage 6 Alzheimer's early onset. I am so tired mentally and physically. He follows me everywhere. He does go to day care 2 days a week. They say he does fine.
Shadowing is a hard habit to break. Caregivers and family should never allow this habit to establish.
Your husband will have an adjustment period when he gets admitted to the nursing home. In the meantime, try to break the shadowing habit. Increase daycare to four, five, or even six days a week if you can. Being away from you for longer periods of time now will make his transition period in the nursing home easier.
Sounds like you have done well getting everything set up. Your dear husband (DH) will adjust to his new home. And you will also adjust to your new home situation.
Best of luck to you both.
Good job!
I could never tolerate this behavior because I have never allowed a client to ever establish a shadowing habit with me. How you stayed on such a job for years is beyond me. You did not leave on your days off?
I had a position years ago that was a four days on, three days off live-in. It was the only live-in assignment I ever took because I do not take live-in work. The money was so good and the accommodations were very nice.
I knew an old-school CNA who at that time was my age today. She warned me about letting a shadowing habit form and how to prevent it. I did what she said and stayed on that job about a year. I didn't like living at work so I left.
The other aide who did the other three days in the week, was going crazy because the client wouldn't leave her alone. She had to move a couch into the client's room and sleep there because the shadowing was so bad. She had to keep a chair outside the bathroom door so the client could be there while she used the toilet. The client had to be in the bathroom while she showered. She would get hysterical, cry, shake, and hyperventilate if she wasn't. I didn't have this problem with her.
The family put a gate in front of her bedroom door so she couldn't wander at night. Her room was secured as was the rest of the house. I checked on her twice a night to toilet her if needed. That was it. The other aide was going in there every five minutes all night long. Not me. Bedtime was 8pm. I made sure she had a snack and a drink in her room, then I'm off duty until it's toileting time. If I needed to get something done or needed a break from her for a little while during the day, I'd put her in her room with a snack and the tv on. She'd yell, cry, command, swear and threaten which i would just ignore. This went on for about a month then stopped. She got used to me coming in only twice a night to bring her to the bathroom. She got used to watching tv in her room during the day at times. Never allow a shadowing habit to establish itself.
He will find another "safe" person to shadow, follow. It might be a staff member or it might be a fellow resident.
He will most likely center his focus then on this new person that is there for him.
It's time to take care of yourself now. You're just as important as he is.
Wishing you the best.