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I would never tell anyone to take this job, never, almost your whole "family" turns against you even if you do everything they say. They lie about you, not just talk down to you but talk to you like your there slave. You get treated like the worst person in the world. Never take this job!!!! they think you don't have any rights. Do Not ever become a live in caregiver. your "family" ain't has nice as you think they are, as I found out the hard harsh way. they'll tell you, you should be kept up until 4 am then be made to wake up at 4 am. they'll expect you to be there 24/7 and they cheat you on your pay. you'll do all the work and they'll take all the credit.
don't ever take this job!!!
yes some families are good, just not most of mine, whom no longer see's me as family but as someone to treat bad, and to lie about, and call names
and treat like a slave.
if you get stuck in this don't count on anyone helping you get out of it, no matter how hard you try. I bet a lot of people are in this mess but people won't help them. it's a little hard to just up and leave, when you live in a place where there's No bus, no tax's, some people live miles away from a store, and small towns are not as nice as there made how to be on tv, once people lie about you, no one helps you. if you just up and leave here in the town I live in, your be camping outside for a long time, because you need proof of address for everything and once your homeless, you have no proof of address and no ones going to help you. your shoes will even be throw out. if you do take this job have a recorder and tell them your going to record, because they'll say you didn't do your job when you did.
always have your proof, trust me. Never move in if you can help it. if you become a caregiver, your family will turn on you, cause they know no ones going to help you.


If you know how bad your family was going to treat you, would you still
became a caregiver?

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My family didn't turn on me. They didn't help much but they didn't turn on me.

I think going into the job of a care giver you need to have your eyes wide open. Don't expect anything but don't volunteer for the job unless you are prepared for a long, hard road. But people might surprise you. There are good, kind, helpful people out there too. It's not all doom and gloom. Maybe for you it is and I'm sorry about that for your sake but it's not always that way for everyone.
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aworker Jul 2019
I wish I could find those good, kind and helpful people but I kept running really bad family, you would think your family would treat you kindly but nope. I was already in a bad situation and I just went one to another without knowing it, no one really ask me if I wanted to do this, somehow I just ended up in this mess. I am sure a lot of people first started out by helping out then, they found themselves trapped, and if they try to tell anyone, people just tell them to leave without having any place to go. my "family" plans on kicking me out as soon as the person dies but no one will stay here with her while I go anywhere so I can't make plans to try to get another place to stay or anything like that ,they only come by to force me to clean day and night and call me names and tell lies about. they think its ok to kept me up all night and day. my "family" tells me that staying with someone 24 7 and cooking and cleaning, dipper changing and feeding them all those things is Not a job and that I should get a job but no one will stay here with her. they think that I am suppost to stay here with her and have another job while she's alone, which she can't be left a alone, so I am here. the person is easier to handle then "family" ,its when "family" comes just to treat me bad, is when Its hard, well its hard already but the "family" makes it all the much harder. I am sure others found themselves in this kind of mess but they probably ended up homeless and/or died. I never know until about a year ago how mean my "family" was . glad to hear at least your family didn't turn on you. Thank you for answering.
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And yes, I would do it again if the person I was caring for was as sweet and kind as my mom was. Would I do it for an ungrateful, mean, self-centered you know what? No, I would not.
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aworker Jul 2019
the person is good but our family is the worst. Its amazing how a whole group of people can treat one person so badly. I image others go through this but don't have any one to tell or turn to and when they do they pay for it.
Thank you for answering.
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I'm sorry you haven't received anymore answers to your question.

Don't get me wrong. My family were a bunch of a**holes throughout my caregiving journey with my mom. But one thing the whole situation did for me if you are looking for silver linings is I grew a backbone. In fact, I don't really have a relationship with them at all now unless there is some kind of family emergency or crisis which we just so happen to be going through right now. I exchange information with them about the situation. But that is all.

It took my situation with my mom to realize that I never really had a relationship with them to begin with. Now I just know it. It's a good thing to know cause now I know to never depend on them for anything. To never just assume they will help cause we are "family"

So once again, yes I would become a caregiver again. I just wouldn't expect any help from them.
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It sounds like they are punishing you because you are being the nice person! This seems to be quite common. The nicer you are, the more horrible people are to you! It's a nasty cruel world sometimes. Try doing less. You are only helping the care recipient, not the entire family. You are not their slave, nor at their beck and call. It sounds awful! So sorry to hear it. Well, about me, I realised the more you give, the more they want.............. and what they want often is not realistic, so then you have to draw boundaries. Good luck and draw some boundaries on what is reasonable and what is not. you are not a slave!
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