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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
If by "fair share" you mean her portion of all bills OR do you mean that she is not helping with tasks around the house? You do not indicate medical problems your MIL has. Your wife does not have to discuss her mothers financial status with you and technically she does not have to discuss her medical conditions either. (unless MIL gives permission medical information is protected under HIPAA laws)
It does sound like you and your wife have some discussions that need to happen. Find a time when neither of you are stressed. Start a conversation. Do not be confrontational about it. Discuss what it potentially means for you and your wife's later years if you are unable to save for your retirements if you are concerned that she is using your (this is joint "your" not your personal income) funds to support MIL.
Curious to know how MIL cam to live in your household. Was this something discussed or did your wife just say "mom is moving in". How much care is needed? And do you help out? And how long will MIL be in your house? Is there a move to Memory Care or Skilled Nursing in the possible future? Lot of questions.... In any case you and your wife need to talk. Possibly with the help of a counselor or therapist.
Yes, need more info. Just be aware, as your MILs POA, your wife should not be sharing her financial information with you. She is Moms representative and as such should not be giving out that info. Its between her and Mom.
But, that does not mean that you are responsible for Mom financially. If she is 65 or older she is getting Medicare. At 62 she could have started collecting Social Security. So, she should have money coming in monthly. As POA your wife can have Mom paying rent. It should be based on what she brings in and what her expenses are. At least she should be paying her own expenses. For example, any doctor bills she incurs. Prescriptions. Clothing. Special Foods. Anything she personally wants or needs. None of this should be coming out if your pocket.
I did not find where having my Mom live with us increased our utilities or food costs. She had a small $200 pension check she got monthly. I would cash it and anything she needed came out of that. She loved homemade soup. I would go all over getting her soup from local diners. The cost I took out of her $200 because this was over and above what I would normally need to do. Her Depends were the biggest cost.
So, if you feel that Mom is causing a financial burden on you, then yes you have a right to say that she needs to pay something towards her care. But no, your wife can't tell u what Mom brings in.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You do not indicate medical problems your MIL has.
Your wife does not have to discuss her mothers financial status with you and technically she does not have to discuss her medical conditions either. (unless MIL gives permission medical information is protected under HIPAA laws)
It does sound like you and your wife have some discussions that need to happen.
Find a time when neither of you are stressed. Start a conversation. Do not be confrontational about it.
Discuss what it potentially means for you and your wife's later years if you are unable to save for your retirements if you are concerned that she is using your (this is joint "your" not your personal income) funds to support MIL.
Curious to know how MIL cam to live in your household. Was this something discussed or did your wife just say "mom is moving in". How much care is needed? And do you help out? And how long will MIL be in your house? Is there a move to Memory Care or Skilled Nursing in the possible future?
Lot of questions....
In any case you and your wife need to talk. Possibly with the help of a counselor or therapist.
But, that does not mean that you are responsible for Mom financially. If she is 65 or older she is getting Medicare. At 62 she could have started collecting Social Security. So, she should have money coming in monthly. As POA your wife can have Mom paying rent. It should be based on what she brings in and what her expenses are. At least she should be paying her own expenses. For example, any doctor bills she incurs. Prescriptions. Clothing. Special Foods. Anything she personally wants or needs. None of this should be coming out if your pocket.
I did not find where having my Mom live with us increased our utilities or food costs. She had a small $200 pension check she got monthly. I would cash it and anything she needed came out of that. She loved homemade soup. I would go all over getting her soup from local diners. The cost I took out of her $200 because this was over and above what I would normally need to do. Her Depends were the biggest cost.
So, if you feel that Mom is causing a financial burden on you, then yes you have a right to say that she needs to pay something towards her care. But no, your wife can't tell u what Mom brings in.
It's unclear what you feel MIL isn't sharing. Do you mean chores or financial information?
Is she not being transparent with your wife?
On what basis did you both agree to have her come to live with you?
Was a caregiver contract set up with a lawyer?
Is she paying rent, utilities and board?
Or does she feel she is "owed" your wife's services?
More information will get you better answers from us.