It's complicated. She allows my brother and his son to visit and help (not his daughter), allows her one daughter to help with everything (but not her other daughter) and refuses to let me help or visit. She moved in with my father and runs everything. When mom was alive, mom stopped her behavior but since we lost mom .... dad and I used to have a close relationship, in fact it was my family that was always helping him and mom. He now sides with everything my sister says and does. Dad keeps saying I have to make your sister happy so.... he just seems so unhappy.
What was the last visit you had there like? A pleasant time or a lot of tension / conflict?
How do you and sis get along. Are you competitive with each other? Can you both set any differences aside when with dad?
What is the rest of the story?
Does she feel that you are critical of her caregiving?
It sounds like you miss your dad. Do you get to visit him at all?
What exactly are your father’s needs? Does he have complicated issues?
Can you speak to the siblings that do help to find out what they think?
Please expand on how your mom felt on this matter with your sister.
I hope you are able to work it out because I am sure that the friction between your siblings is disturbing to your dad.
Best wishes to you and your family. Take care.