I have been her primary caregiver for years and am a 35 year experienced RN. We all made decision to admit her to hospice care while she was competent but they have discontinued all care except massive amounts of morphine and have put her into a drug induced coma and she is dying. She was going to bathroom 75% without assistance feeding and dressing herself putting on weight with hopes of possibly achieving an overall general improvement for some minimally invasive arterial Cath interventions to improve her overall blood flow and achieve more stability and comfort. All she needed was more aggressive pain management not a euthanasia. My brother is more interested in finding all her assets than helping with her care and maintenance of home and miscellaneous needs. Meanwhile my husband and I have rented our home out, taken early retirement, both in our 60s with health issues of our own, moved in with her to avoid her nursing home placement and more than contribute our share of household expenses, in fact by combining households have made it possible to provide better nutrition and reduced cost of care. But between this for profit hospice and my brother are killing her. It is an autracity. This is not what she wanted. Help!
Did you understand that by definition, hospice admission involves certification that the patient has a life limiting diagnosis? And that treatment for that diagnosis will be discontinued?
Is your mother currently in a NH?
I guess I am trying to understand why all of a sudden you are doubting your choice. Availability of HH aids?
Your last response appears to allude to hospice being chosen vs home health because hospice pays more for home health.
You all went into this because your mother is terminally ill. What terminal illness does she have?
Do I sense you are changing your mind? Do you not feel comfortable with letting your mother pass away?
If so, discuss this with your brother and see what his understanding of his mother’s care is & if he agrees with the physician that ordered hospice. Involve your mother in the convo as well if, in your judgement, your mother can mentally handle such a conversation.
You state she is in pain. How much and from what? If she is dying and in pain then that’s how hospice treats some terminally ill patients. Surely you did not, as a nurse, think otherwise? Morphine will diminish respirations, yes, but is very effective in managing end of life pain from an illness.
There is quite a lot you can do if you feel this decision to place mom on hospice is the wrong one. But I feel something is missing here. If you are a nurse, you must assess your mother’s illness objectively using clinical judgement vs emotions. If you determine that her illness is end stage and her passing would be due to a natural progression of the disease then stay the hospice course. But if you are doubting the severity of her illness and think she can recover, ask the hospice MD who wrote the order themselves their rationale. If you don’t agree, find another hospice provider
I wish you well!