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My husband's oldest sister is power of attorney he is very intimidated of her she has to just control everything and he's sneaky he's disabled. I have a 26 year old special needs daughter.


Been married 5 years he recently was to start like an adult day program but she did not like that they would be doing everything not being to be in control. I did apply for being his payee she comes along and was again has it again.


He only gets to me what she wants him to have for money he calls her she stopped his medications from being mailed to our home she very seldom buys him clothes we could of been in a new home in September but her if only I could of afforded the rent she up there he cannot walk up steps he suffers with seizures as well as my daughter.


He can do steps my daughter she needs assistance. I am so sick and tired of this crap and want out my marriage. We have been married 5 years I have a list of apartments and did get on ones waiting list. Money is my main problem I not knowing what I do now lost my Section 8 voucher and he would not do what was needed for me to get back. The Section 8 worker said I could reapply.


I stay stressed and worried to no end. I want out this marriage my husband wont speak up for us. I see never being able to move. I was told he believes whatever she says thinks she's right because she is the oldest. All replies ASAP

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When you married your husband 5 years ago, was your situation different or the same as it is now?Was your husband's health good at that time?
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I agree with Cali. There are some written communication issues here and also some information left out. Hubby may not be speaking up because the situation is how he wants it to be. OP may have proven herself incapable of handling things like meds and finances. Her idea of them “sneaking around” may just be issues she doesn’t need to be a part of. The daycare sounds like s good idea because he will be getting his meds, etc. there has to be a reason OP really has no control over the situation.
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5524shyshy Dec 2019
Hello not being smart I am capable of handling finances and medicines I have a 26 year old special needs daughter and nobody has complained this woman takes advantage of him all to it.

He s not going to the program because she cannot be in control why I told her to see about one my daughter goes to beats me but the day support manger is nice but I feel you get on her nerves I do not know.

You cannot control everybody and everything okay some of these comments are just getting on my last nerve not yours thank you.
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Does he realize he can revolk her POA and assign u. I would do it and then have a letter written to her by a lawyer. No one should control anyone like this. Unless he is incompetent, she really has no control unless POA was immediate.
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I also am having a good deal of trouble deciphering your messages here. Are you suffering from any deficits yourself? Anything that makes communication either verbal or written quite difficult? Have you seen a lawyer (Elder law) to help you through some of these issues. If, indeed, your husband and sister are united against you--that is to say, if your husband trusts his own sister of many years over you--there is little that can be done.
I honestly have no advice here except that you get yourself represented as the wife of this man.
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TNtechie Dec 2019
I do not think English is her primary language.
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This post is confusing to me. Why does your sister in law have power of attorney for your husband?
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5524shyshy Dec 2019
Hello in my post I explained how intimidated my husband is of his sister I overheard something from my cousin like it seems when we did go down and apply I became payee maybe he went to sister and begged for her to become it once again I am not sure.

I tried and did become payee I know she talks to him no takes advantage he suffers with a mental inpairment and like I said in my post he s sneaky two peas in a pod and with this I will say day program they were to do everything even his medicines he would not even have the same doctor they had a doctor he wont speak up for nothing.

I used to be intimidated of her but now if need be I let her know I did not speak to him for 2 weeks when we were not able to move into that house in September all because he would of stand up for us.

She just does not wont to lose being power of attorney to me wont s to control everything its a shame and does not wont to take care of him.
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POA only goes into effect when a person can’t make their own decisions. Can I ask why your sister-in-law was made POA and not you? Are you your husband’s caregiver? Does she pay you to be his caregiver?

Before you bolt from this marriage/situation, make sure you know where you are going and how you will survive. Make sure your daughter is cared for. Call your county department of Health and Human Services and ask for their help. You’ll need a caseworker.
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