My 90 year old mom just moved in with my husband and me. Thirty years ago I had hospice for my dad, and he died in my home, in our bedroom. To this day I find I look over to where he died and remember…
I’ve realized I truly don’t want to experience this again with my mom, as she is now in an addition we put on which will be the main floor master when she is no longer with us.
I realize she could die suddenly and obviously there’s no control over that, but if it ends up being a slower process, how do I negotiate not having her actually die in the home? She has been adamant that she doesn’t want to be in a nursing home, at all.
Thanks in advance for your feedback!
Bless you, you are not insensitive, just the reverse. I would feel the same way.
Why don't you want your mother to pass in your home? What's wrong with having her with you?
Its not a sin to die....everyone of us alive today is going to pass, sooner or later.
I wouldn't have my late mother anywhere else but with me. She tried to talk me into putting her away in a NH, and then she began to state that she was going to just start walking.....but, thank God, she finally relented and stayed with my hubs and me. It's very, very hard to care for and watch the one you love and cannot live without slowly slip into decline....and finally, slowly, the lights go out. Hardest thing I've ever experienced. I'm still sad, lonely and grieving and she passed February 1, 2018.
If I wasn't saved by Christ the Lord, I'd have ended my own sad existence. But, I belong to Jesus, and He sustains me! He is my hope, my joy, and my reason for living now. I am ready for Heaven, as He died for me, for all of us, all we need to do to avoid Hell forever is Repent of our sins, and put our full trust in Him. He did the hard work by paying the penalty we earned by violating God's perfection. He paid the Penalty which is death, and being God the Creator, He rose bodily from the dead on the 3rd day.
For clarification, please watch on YT, Ray Comfort. I have a hard time explaining the Gospel....but, to listen to Ray as he interviews random people on the streets of So California is nothing short of incredible, amazing, and very interesting! Ray Comfort is an excellent teacher....people seem to really tune in and listen....I hope you can go to YT and find a video by Ray Comfort! He's very well worth your time!!
And, there's nothing wrong with your father or mother passing in your home, or their own. Where else would they? I'm assuming when God calls me Home, that I'll pass wherever I'm at, be it the store, in my car, or at my house....no big deal.
Do not be afraid!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not upon your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.
Proverbs 3: 5,6
Many people on this forum will understand your PTSD.
The best way to change your fear may be to adapt your outlook.
All planning around death brings no guarantees.
i have had problems with similar spots in my home. Short of moving, I’ve come around to regard these sites as places of love, life, comfort and courage.
I was concerned when one of my young teens experienced my mother’s passing. I was specifically considering she might need counseling.
Several days after Mom died I was worrying about the fact that my daughter had been there. I asked her how she was doing with the experience and, to my surprise, she said she was grateful. She even said she would have been devastated (she specifically
said she would not be able to forgive herself) if she had not been there for her grandma to help her through at such a terrifying moment (for my Mom).
These words have helped me with my own internal struggle.