My father died 17 months ago. He neglected to set up a trust, but my mother set one up and made me the trustee. Also, she gave me durable power of attorney
Mom's sister is nuts and is used to bullying just about every friend/boyfriend/relatives of hers to get her way. I suspect with my dad gone, she thought she would just step in and take over Mom's life (which for the most part has not happened) and I think she is bitter/vindictive about it and out for blood
Case in point: six months ago, a small bank account belonging to Mom was hacked. Someone was using it to make payments on their own credit card. Until we could get it sorted out, I took most of the money out of there and transferred it to another account of hers at a different bank. Well, that compromised account was linked to another account from the same bank that belongs to Mom and her two sisters that they use for the property they grew up in and now rent out. So the thief transferred money from that account to Mom's solo account. When I found out, I immediately transferred that money back to the account they share, but my aunt insisted I was the one who stole it. She even went so far to say that she had called the bank and they told her I was the one who called and authorized it. A total lie (and fortunately Mom did not believe it) but I point this out to show the lengths this woman will go to in order to drive a wedge between Mom and myself (and what she will do to get her way)
Things calmed down for a while but five weeks ago, Mom fell and fractured her shoulder. She is now bedridden, which has caused my aunt to play a more active role again in her life. Mom is getting good care at the assisted living facility she currently resides at, but she does not like following the rules they have in place there, and so she complains to anyone that will listen. Everyone takes those complaints with a "grain of salt" except my aunt. She seems to believe everything my mom says and is now determined to find her a new place to live. I also got a call from the local Ombudsman today with a list of complaints my aunt made. All of them are either trivial or over-exaggerated
Two questions here: 1) what rights do I have? The POA states I have the power to make decisions when Mom is incapacitated. But what does that actually mean? Mom is showing signs of dementia but she is also very good at "pulling herself together" when she has to. If my aunt is able to convince her there is some "unicorn facility" where everything will be to her liking, what power do I have to stop it?
My other question is about the possibility of losing POA. How difficult would it be for my aunt to gain that control? I doubt Mom would just sign that authority over to her, but she also has always having trouble saying no to her (and like I mentioned before, aunt is willing to tell her what she wants to hear when others won't), so unfortunately it is a possibility
I guess the bottom line is that I fear an eventual legal battle here. I am confident I would win as I have done nothing wrong, but that's also time I have to take out of my already very busy schedule. I guess too I am not really wired to fight, but my aunt certainly is (and she has a lot of time on her hands)
If your Mom is not incapacitated with dementia she is still in charge. You say she made you Trustee of Trust. That means that, unless she changes that with an attorney, you are now in charge of any and all accounts help by the Trust.
POA is different and is POA, not Trustee of Trust. I was both for my brother. If Mom is still managing her accounts then she is managing them, but if she is not then you should be and you should go to the bank WITH HER as soon as she is able, and arrange the accounts so that you manage all accounts NOT IN TRUST, allowing her her merged account with Sisters (they should NOT be linked to other accounts) and a small spending account.
If Mom is not suffering dementia and your POA is not in force, then you have no say; Mom can change everything to her sister in a second.
You and Your Mother need to see a good elder law attorney. This has been left way too long. If your Mom won't make you NOW the acting POA and Trustee then you will need assessment. If she is competent to manage her own affairs you will have no say.
Many attorneys will visit in rehabs and this is where my brother made me POA and Trustee of Trust. It COST MONEY, so be warned on that. Four years ago it cost, with his agreement, to do this, 5,000.00. BUT you must have an attorney or this will end a mess in court litigation that will cost easily 5 times that. Get this done ASAP and explain to your mother why it must be done.
Also, be certain you are capable of this as it is an onerous job and a fiduciary duty under the legal system.You will be accountable to your mother and to the court for every penny into and every penny out of her accounts and her Trust.
Also, if you can go see an elder attorney - you can call one and have like a consult with them. This is what I did. I asked him everything under the sun. It was an hour consult and well worth the money.