I do not want to feel aggravated. I feel really guilty, because I get aggravated. It's only me, my sister passed away, my kids and nephews help as much as they can. They are young and all work...so that's hard. Anyway sometimes people want me to come to their house and it's SO HARD to bring them out I have wheelchairs, walkers, Medicine, incontinent supplies, their blankets extra clothes...kinda like having twins but elderly women. Then my Aunt has dementia so she's a mess after we go anywhere for at least a week...it's so hard to go anywhere..because I can NOT leave them alone. I can't take only 1 unless I find detailed someone to sit home with the other one. Family events are HARD because the whole family will be there and the family is who helps watch them. ANY IDEAS??? I do not mind having gatherings here at home and it does not bother either 1 of them. I have a mess to clean, but I do not want to hurt anyone else's feelings about always having to come to me.
There are a few ways to approach this. One, tell the family member that you can't bring Mom and Auntie unless someone volunteers to come to your house and travel with you there and back. If that fails, tell them that you can't come with both of them, but everyone is welcome to stop by your house after the gathering for coffee and cake. We've done that at my mother's house a few times.
The bigger problem I see is that you can't leave the two of them, or even one of them, alone at home. You need some time off and you need to be free of the burden of taking both out when only one needs to go (for example, to a drs. appointment). If your nephews can't contribute time due to working, could they contribute money for a sitter for their mother so she can be left at home safely while you take only your own mother?
This is a situation that can't continue as it is indefinitely. You need to demand more help from your nephews especially. Failing that, you need to consider placing one or both elderly ladies in a care facility.
You should make an assessment appointment with your local Counties Area on Aging (senior services), to see where help might be beneficial to you. You may be eligible to receive RESPITE CARE, and even get a waiver, so you can get some much heeded time off, to recharge your own batteries, and probably many more services and help too!!
This time Cannot be all about the oldies, as your life matters too! Keep working towards taking care of your own needs, as the oldies are being cared for, and quite nicely, I'm sure!