He is 88 and goes to bed around 9:30pm and gets up around 9:30 with my prodding, sometimes later. I give him breakfast or lunch, depending on when he gets up. Then after he eats, he lies down on the sofa and sleep on and off thru out the afternoon. I get him off the sofa around 5 and we have dinner at 7.
He doesn't have any desire to do anything. Is this lack of motivation causing him to sleep?
Now, her pattern has changed to her wanting to take not one but two naps in the afternoon. So we're just rolling with her changes as they come and making sure that she's comfortable until God calls her home. So please know, Isabella, that an increase in sleeping can happen.
kokuamau./resources/last-stages-life
When he watches TV, he believes the movies are really happening now! I have to tell him they are movies and make-believe.
He used to watch the news 24/7, but it is too confusing now and asks so many questions, I try to explain, and by the time the explanation is given he forgets what it was about. He has very bad hearing so have to talk very loud. I will try some game shows, they may be interesting to him.
I am much younger them him, so currently, in good physical condition. This is good for him. I am able to take care of all the decision making in
the home, along with the shopping, errands, etc.... He has always been in good physical health. It is very upsetting to see a loved one, who was so mentally active to go into a stagnated mental state. This is man who had several Design Patents, who had his pilots license, built two businesses, built a house, doing all the plumbing and electrical himself, and who can barely remember any of these events in his life.so much for memories!
Describe this to his doctor. Show a schedule. See if there is anything medical that might be tried. For example, my husband (with Lewy Body Dementia) took a nighttime drug to allow him to sleep, and a daytime pill to combat excessive daytime sleepiness. I know a lot of people resist using drugs, but I was happy to have my dear soulmate up and alert with me, drugs or no drugs.
Another thing his doctors can check is whether any of his current meds are contributing to this lethargy and if some adjustments can be made.
Also try scheduling some more stimulating activities. Consider a Day Health Program. Even one afternoon a week might give him enough of a change of pace to be useful.
Ask him to keep you company in the kitchen while you make brownies or prepare dinner, and talk about old times.
His lack of desire to do anything is beyond his control. It is the dementia causing this. But you and/or his doctors may be able to overcome the dementia enough for him to have a better quality of life, and you to have a more satisfying relationship with him.
Keep firmly in mind that this is Not Your Fault, and that it is Not His Fault. I hope you can find some improvements, but however this works out, PLEASE leave any feelings of guilt totally out of this.