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Mother sleeps alot. She and I stay in a senior facility in Independent Living. I am her full time caregiver. We have a very nice experience here coming from a "rogue facility" that was a nightmare. My brother, sister-in-law and a cousin represented the dysfunction in our family where they went along with whatever the rogue faciity did or said. My brother has come around to support me being Mother's full time caregiver as when the rogue facility cut my hours, he was astonished at the $25.00 per hour charge for full time Nurses Aids after Mother was injured from the facility's negligence. My sister-in-law has avoided any warmth towards Mother for the last 30 or 40 years and it turned out my flamboyant cousin was an instigator, in tight with management with ties to them because he is booked as an entertainer several times a year. I told him we are family, he should have come to me and Mother and found out what she wanted and what I, as her caregiver, daughter and POA of Health Care thought was best. He is very judgmental with a superiority complex. I told him that instead of meeting with management and encouraging them to take over care of Mother he should have talked to us and clued us in because we are family. It was a disaster for Mother. She has not regained her vitality or mobility but has some improvement since we got away from that situation. It was very stressful. Mother is loving and cheerful, is aware and social. She has recovered mentally from all her falls. She now has meals in the dining room and sits with very nice ladies and every day or every other day she takes part in an activity or we go out for a meal, or to an appointment or for a walk outside, with Mother in the wheel chair. As far as our guest list, we want the two ladies from our table, 5 generations of our immediate family. We also are also close with Mother's 2nd husband's family. They have been calling and are excited about Mother's 100th birthday. I have lost track of my other cousins although we were close at one time. I do not want to bring my cousin here as he has been too negative about me and Mother. Mother says she just wants him to leave us alone. I don't think my brother and sister-in-law would come as they will be in our city the end of this month and they do not often travel. I think if a few of us got together and sang one of mother's favorite songs and we all sang Happy Birthday that would be good. Any experiences or ideas would be appreciated.

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Invite the people that you want there to celebrate, forget the rest. If anyone says anything tell people that you were limited by space.
Have a nice cake, don't forget the ice cream.
Enjoy the day!!
Oh, and I think it would be awesome to get 100 signatures or if possible 100 birthday cards for her.
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Put out the word to any clubs, organizations, church, etc. where you are a member and ask them to send cards for mom's 100th. You will be surprised at how many will do that. I belong to a fan club and after I posted a request mom got cards from around the world. If you have time, you can request a card from the President of the U.S., via your member of Congress. It might or might not happen. Mom never received anything. There is quite a bit of advance notice required.

Did/Does mom have favorite hobbies or interests? My mom loved to bake so I put together a booklet of her favorite recipes, some with brief stories as to how the recipe was acquired or how often we served it. Include a few old photos too. If you don't have a scanner, I'm sure someone at the facility does and would help out.

Make a big sign for the door, invite all the neighbors. Everyone loves a party.
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While turning 100 is a great celebration, if your mom sleeps a lot and has not regained her vitality, I'd try to keep the occasion short and sweet. I don't know your mom's state of mind, but, I know some seniors are not really into large groups of people and noise. It annoys them. I'd take that into consideration, before inviting a crowd or arrange for her to retire to her room if she gets tired.

I hope she has a lovely 100 birthday!
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What an incredible milestone! You are an amazing daughter, so thoughtful and kind to make sure her special day is celebrated. I think your idea sounds wonderful. I think the most important thing is to be surrounded by family and friends. And to take lots and lots of pictures to mark the special day.
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Agree with everyone here. Do not invite the creeps. My mother is in much the same situation as your mother, just had her 91st birthday, happy people were there, her best memory now is she had all the chocolate cake she wanted, and it was lit with sparklers which she'd never seen. Nice. We got her a bracelet with all of her grandchildren's initials and stones, next year will be a bracelet with her great-grandchildren. BTW, it went too long, she paid the next day, so try to keep it short. Good luck to you.
Also - my mother did not want to invite the people at her AL, it was just too much for her to take in. So ask her what she wants, then take it with a grain of salt.
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there is a blog here @AgingCare.com where a lady made recordings of songs from the era of her mother. This would be a wonderful addition to her party! Awesome to turn 100. My Ray will be 96 in September!

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/dementia-care-surrounded-by-sound-428032.htm
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The outcome. Mom's 100th Birthday Party was a great occasion. None of the antagonistic family members came to the party. Mom's second husbands family were all there. He passed in 2012. They are Mother's (step) children, grandchildren and a great grandchild. They came from many far away places in the US. It was real quality time spent together at lunch the day before and the day of the party. Mother, myself and grand, great grand and great, great grandchildren were there all dressed up in their finest. We invited all the residents in the facility to attend, the choir from my church, the Church Bible Study Group, and the staff was in and out to say Happy Birthday to Mom. Mom loved the video put to music from a selection of photos from ancestors to present set to two Frank Sinatra crooner love songs. It was a 7 minute DVD slide show professionally made by an employee of a video arts studio who did the work on the side. The choir sang a beautiful Happy Birthday and then again with a resident of the facility who was an opera soprano and another time with the everyone in the room. A violin player wandered though the room playing music and the children followed her dancing with musical shakers and other musical sticks and things through the room and in the hallway where the overflo was sitting. Daughter-in-law and son and a friend made all the food, we bought cakes and a friend went all out with white and hot pink tablecloths, runners, napkins and lace designed paper plates. Mom wore a silver dress she has been saving(for her funeral) for 20 years with black tights and a black tank top showing where the dress makes a v shape at the neckline. She wore a black velvet Holiday headband with pink and sparkled flowers plus a freeze dried rose wrist corsage. We had tiny sparkled little Happy Birthday cutouts sprinkled on the tablecloths. Visually it was just breathtaking. We had a flower arrangements or a plant on each table from the guests. Mother has never been so happy. She held up from 12:30 when we went downstairs until after 3:00 after having opened about half of the presents.  She loved every moment. We have many pictures and received many thanks for having the party. For me, it is the best memory of a family gathering of my lifetime. We took advice from AgingCare Answers above and we are most grateful for input. (For me, not having mean dysfunctional family members who have abused and slandered me throughout my lifetime and caused Mother great harm coupled with church members who sang and prayed with me freed me from unhappiness of bad family get- togethers of the past. Also it is evident that we are blessed with the loving family members and guests who attended. It is a new loving era in our lives. Praise God.
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What if you all did digging and found pictures and news articles from each year she has lived. Write a narrative about that year...bond it all together in a scrap book for her?

Give a gift that requires thought and your own hands to make always means more.
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several thoughts....music from her era, pictures of her past (even better if its a video on a computer, short party, simple everything else. For my dad's 80th, we were all together on vacation and the grandkids sang him a song and hung 80 hearts with a memory on each, but for their 90th they were in more frail health so we kept it much simpler. Family, some old neighbors, some church friends...
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How about having what you want for her party. Let your brother know about it but offer that instead of them having to make a special trip for the event that the two of you (and his wife if she wants) go out with Mom for a special family celebration. If you do reach out to family let them know that Mom would appreciate a card and maybe copies of family photos, explain that she is not up to a big celebration and that you are just having something small with other people a the IL.
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