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OMG I never get any sleep anymore. She sleeps all day and is awake most of the night. Her PCP took her off sleeping pills so I got some OTC sleeping aids. It helps a bit but not much. I cannot get her to stay awake during the day at all. At night she wanders and gets into things and when I wake up there is crap all over the place. What can I do to make this situation more tolerable? She gets mad at me if I go to bed early and keeps complaining about it. I am at wits end.

I don't know what you've got going on during the day but we had my 100-yr old Aunt with advanced dementia doing "tasks" to burn mental and physical energy. It helped her sleep better at night for many years, and then eventually that changed.

- portable (tabletop) pedaler. She did it with her feet while watching tv. 20 min.
- folding a large stack of kitchen towels (dedicated towels just for this purpose)
- sorting poker chips by color
- reading to us out loud
- walking her around the house
- playing any card or board games, her rules

She was being given Tylenol PM and it didn't work all the time and eventually wasn't working at all. After starting the tasks she slept great and we stopped the Tylenol PM. She had memory deficit so we'd have her fold the same towels 2x a day. She also watched Pixar and DreamWorks animated movies with the captions on and read the entire movie to herself. I hope you can find something that works!
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Ksef2454 Apr 11, 2024
I’m in the same position with my husband. I’m going to do these things to make him stay awake during the day. I’m at my whits end. I’m very tired.
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Yes a caregivers night sleep is important. But so is Mother's safety.

Mother's PCP discontinued her sleeping medication - yet you are medicating your Mother with OTC medications?

Go back to the PCP.
Tell the PCP you are not coping.
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Rogerwyatt7890 Apr 16, 2024
I would not say medicating her. I just gave her one unisom the other night to help take the edge off and it did not do much good. They are over the counter so are not very strong. I'm not sure why the doctor took her off the sleeping pills. We see her next week to discuss this.
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Just wanted to say I feel for all of you that have gone through this. Caregiving is so hard then to do this on such little sleep.

Makes me feel a little guilty for complaining about taking care of my mom daily but not 24/7

I'm honestly not a religious person, but want to say God bless all us wonderful people that care so much.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Is there an Adult Day Program near you that she can get involved with?
Getting her busy and engaged during the day may help with her getting to sleep at night.

A side note if the OTC sleep aids contain Benadryl they can make an already "foggy" brain more foggy. And they can also make her a fall risk.
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Adult Day Care, she needs day time stimulation and be with people her own age. Isolation causes may issues with the elderly.
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This is such a common problem among elderly people. My mom slept in her recliner for a good portion of the day.

My mother went to bed at a decent hour but she had nightmares that would awaken her.

There was a time when she was wondering at night. The doctor prescribed Ativan and Seroquel and the wondering stopped.

Have you discussed other medications besides sleeping pills with her doctor?

Also, look at side effects of any medication that she is taking. My brother had to take certain medications for health issues. One of the side effects was not being able to sleep.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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Adult daycare or hire an aide at night until you can get Mom placed in memory care . If you hired an aide at night maybe you could go home to sleep if you live close by . If not , get good ear plugs . I hope Mom has money for this . You shouldn’t use your money . Good luck getting her placed . I don’t see any other permanent viable solution . You need to get back to your own family .
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KNance72 Apr 11, 2024
Flents ear Plugs are excellent
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Dementia is an illness and some of its symptoms can be very difficult to cope with. It may be worth talking to your doctor about other methods of managing sleep and wakefulness that may be more effective. It's important to create a consistent day-night routine, including regular sleep and wake times and activities throughout the day, which can help reduce anxiety and support healthier sleep.
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2 ways of adjusting her sleep patterns, gentle or quick
Gentle - make her go to bed a little earlier every day and stay up a little longer during the day. Requires that she get stimulation - activities, walks, listen to music, watch movies, hobbies... Eventually, she will be on a schedule that is more manageable.
Quick - set firm times for rest and wake periods. Make sure she does not sleep during a "wake" period by any means necessary. In about 3 days or so, she will adjust to the new schedule. Please note that she - and maybe you - will not be as pleasant to be with during this transition period.
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Rogerwyatt7890: She needs to see her physician. It is imperative that you get restorative sleep. You'll be good to no one without it.
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