About 3 days ago my Mum suddenly stopped wanting to eat. This came completely out of the blue. Day before she was happy, we went for our evening walk, I cut her hair and styled it and we were laughing listening to old songs, dancing. She was able to read and we were having normal conversations. The next day she was completely different. It’s like a black cloud was hovering over.
I can’t tell what’s going on. I’ve asked her if she’s having pain with her dentures, if her tummy hurts, if she’s having trouble with swallowing, if her stools are alright. I did noticed she did a number 2 today.
Nevertheless, everything I offer her, she only has a bite or 2 and then puts it down. She finds faults with everything! It’s either too hard, too soft, old, too cold, too hot etc. Today I asked if we’d order her favourite pizza to try entice her. She said “yes, that could be good, I’m a bit hungry”. I said “ are you sure if I order, you won’t just put it aside” and she replied with “no, I think pizza will be good”. Next thing the pizza arrives and I plate it only for her to put it aside. On prompting her she finally blurts “it’s cold”. I warm it up in the microwave,.. then she says “it’s old, I’m not eating old pizza”.
At this stage I'm fuming inside while trying to explain to her that it literally just arrived from the pizza store but nothing I say prevails. She starts to pull it apart and make a mess of it at which stage it’s definitely no longer appealing to then turn around and say “look at it, it’s terrible”. She does know how to eat considering she has a bite or two before rejecting.
I'm lost for words,... what is going on?!?
She pulls the same face that you would if you were utterly full or having something gross put in front of your face so I’m wondering if there’s some kind of gag reflect going on.
No no matter how much I ask, she doesn’t tell me anything that would give me an idea. She just mutters that nothing is wrong.
Her behaviour in general has been off the last last couple days. Today when I went to put the seatbelt around her in the car and leant over, she went to bite my arm while making a growling noise. It wasn’t hard, more like a play bite but still odd. When I asked her why she would do that, it seems to have been protective motivated. She said “well you were pushing me!”. I replied saying “no, I was not pushing you, I leant across". But yes odd. She also spat the mouthful of pizza at me while at the same time she loves complaining of any ants near where she sits. There are a few ants and that’s coz she keep dropping crumbs.
Is it possible for dementia to suddenly change / advance like this OR is something else possibly going on I should be investigating? I’ll try take her to doctor but so far she’s not interested.
I’ll try make some protein smoothie tomorrow but just looking for ideas.
she often had a re-occurring UTI.
Get her urine cultured asap.
One thing, as we age we tend to crave sugary items because we can still enjoy the sweet taste. I remember my Mom's grocery list back when she was in her late 80's and into her 90's. Fudge ripple ice cream... Little Debbie's treats ... a pie ... chocolate chip cupcakes every week. Dad was happy with those items, too.
Oh, the UTI, I remember when my Dad had it, he was seeing ants in his food and ants climbing up the wall. All that went away once he was treated for the UTI.
in normal conditions, she’d have a lot of cranberry juice and daily UTI suppression supplement. The problem is her bladder doesn’t empty properly (this was being investigated pre dementia and she went on a waiting list for an operation. Fast forward to now,.. I’m not sure if they’d operate anymore AND now she’s incontinent.
when a slightly pointed them out she picked up the spoon she’d earlier removed from her coffee and said “this spoon is terribly dirty”. I said yes off course it’s dirty now as it’s been in the coffee and you took it out 5mins ago. Now she thinks a dirty spoon has been in her coffee. Can’t win,.... grrrr.
I think this could be UTI related to an extent but she was only on antibiotics few weeks ago. She regurlarly has Ural and I try keep her hydration up but it just doesn’t help. Her bladder does not empty fully so is prone for constant infections. She was on the operation waiting list pre dementia but I’m not sure they’d operate anymore ,....
Some personal involvement could stimulate the appetite or at least feel like a worthy achievement to warrant consumption.
I'm thinking she may be feeling helpless and despondent, but I can relate to the frustration of being uncommunicative.
As to taking antibiotics so often, I don't see that letting a UTI go untreated in an elder is wise. Even on Hospice, UTIs are generally treated, because they wreak such havoc in elders and can lead to sepsis and death.
What sort of surgery? Is it an outpatient procedure?
But yes Telehealth appointment tomorrow and I’ll push the doc for some more ongoing help. Honestly though,.. I wish it were a face to face appt and that samples were done. I’ll see if I can just pick up the container from the chemist and take it in for testing, provided the doc writes the lab request.
I managed to get her to have some drinking youghurt (I’m offering that to her as a drink) because at least that will give her some calories. And I got some custard and smoothie products that I was thinking of mixing with some protein.
UTI can cause a sudden change in behavior
Mini stroke can cause a change and a rapid decline
She might not be able to give you an answer as to what is wrong because she does not know herself.
We were desperate with my mother but there was a reluctance to give a liquid feed as she was paranoid (as the illness progressed) and would not tolerate intervention.
You also have a significant behavior change and I agree with folks about UTIs. My Mom was literally raving during a bout. If urine is normal, I'd chat to your doctor about antidepressants or anti anxiety meds. Violent behavior tends to escalate. My Mom screamed in my face for three days and eyed up the kitchen knives saying that if there wouldn't be repercussions, she would slit our throats. She was sectioned. You want to nip this in the bud. Mom had a good doctor that prescribed the right meds and she is sweet now and contented (not zombied out). Definitely address the aggression ASAP.
You also have a significant behavior change and I agree with folks about UTIs. My Mom was literally raving during a bout. If urine is normal, I'd chat to your doctor about antidepressants or anti anxiety meds. Violent behavior tends to escalate. My Mom screamed in my face for three days and eyed up the kitchen knives saying that if there wouldn't be repercussions, she would slit our throats. She was sectioned. You want to nip this in the bud. Mom had a good doctor that prescribed the right meds and she is sweet now and contented (not zombied out). Definitely address the aggression ASAP.
I would also get probiotic foods and drinks to give daily. Small amounts are great to get her healthy bacteria back in balance. Even a tablespoon multiple times a day is sufficient.
I would ask for her zinc levels to be tested, that is the main nutrient that effects our taste and smell.
Everything that you said has been going on is definitely part of the dementia journey. Changes can happen in a second, they can stick around, be fleeting or a one time episode. So once any actual medical situation is ruled out or treated don't be surprised if you see similar behavior. Dementia is so unpredictable.
That's why people say, "When you have seen one person with dementia, you have seen one person with dementia." No two situations are exactly alike, no behaviors follow a set timeline or rule, it is very challenging to not get blindsided or caught off guard regularly. Just learning as much as you can to understand as much as possible is the best preparation for this journey.
I pray she finds her appetite soon and feels better.
I have noticed her her breath smells like poop!
I would definitely encourage you to take her to the doctor.
Just in case you don't find any medical cause, consider psychological causes. My mom went through a phase of complaining that she couldn't swallow. She would eat a couple of bites, then stop. After a few days and a visit to the doctor with no results, she commented that when we pushed her to eat, it made her have trouble swallowing. We all backed off, and gave her time to eat, and backed off on some other things we were encouraging her to do too. That solved the problem.
1) Cranberry juice is acidic, and this limits the growth of the bacteria that cause UTIs. However the effect of a small glassful is limited, and the capsules are more concentrated. If the juice contains sugar, it is less effective. Unsweetened citrus juices help too. Alkaline salts like Ural help with the ‘pissing fire’ problem, but aren’t a preventative.
2) UTIs are normally caused by cross-infection from feces, which is one reason why incontinence is a problem – it spreads to the urethra opening in Depends until they are changed. For younger women, energetic sex can squeeze out enough nasties to end up in the wrong place, near the urethra opening just inside the vagina opening.
3) I learned from a poster that leaning forward at the end of a piss helps the bladder to fully evacuate. It’s true! Now I always do it! It helps in more ways than just limiting UTIs - increased capacity and less urgency at awkward times!
4) It also helps to shave off the fine hairs around the anus and urethra opening, because they can’t be wiped completely clean with toilet paper. I have always disliked the ‘prepubescent look’ of the Brazilian wax/ harem full shave, but this doesn’t affect the front view (in Oz commonly known as the ‘Map of Tasmania’).
4) The doctor does a quick ‘litmus-type’ test in the surgery and then prescribes the antibiotic for the most common UTI if it turns red for acid. The urine sample should be sent away for culturing, just in case the infection was a less common type and requires a different antibiotic (which happened to me only once).
Good luck!
Please call 911. Right now.
This happened to a friend's mom. Vomitting feces is very unpleasant for everyone involved.
https://www.healthline.com/health/breath-smells-like-poop#causes