My mom use to be well kept. Now within the last five years it's a struggle to get her to bathe and keep up on hygiene. She is incontinent or lazy, I don't know yet. She does use the toilet and other times she's incontinent...it stinks and she says she can't smell anything. Everyone smells the urine but her. She won't go to the Doctor. She cusses and carries on. I've bought her depends, I've bought pads for her bed and she won't use either of them. I've offered to help bathe her and she doesn't want the help. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?
UTIs are well known to change behaviour & increase frequency & incontinence.
Sense of smell can reduce as people age. Also can be pride. Or memory problems (forgetting the sequence of steps involved to undress, wash, dry, dress again in order. Mush easier to skip).
Two of my relatives refuse to change if wet, even if smell & wet/dirty clothing is obvious to others. Embarrassment? Won't admit an accident? Can't manage clothing but too proud to accept help?
Don't ask "do you want to see the Doctor?" Make the appointment. Drive to the shops, then to Doctors. (Many won't make a scene in public if already in the carpark). Or say the Doctor needs to see her to review prescriptions (therapeutic fib).
I got my relo there for prescriptions but then mentioned the poor diet, lack of self-care/bathing, incontinence, frequent falls. Called Tough Love. It may not have been want my relo wanted... but it was NEEDED.
Click on ‘Care Topics’ at the top right of the screen. You will get an alphabetic list of topics. Try ‘bathing’ and ‘hygiene’. There are many articles and discussions, and hundreds of questions where the problems and answers may help. You may find other topics that will help, too. Best wishes and good luck.