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I'm worried about my mom because her sleep is being ruined by my dad. I'm particularly worried because she is genetically at risk for Alzheimer's.


My dad hasProgressive supranuclear palsy (PSP). He can barely walk on his own. He needs help getting in and out of chairs and beds and cars, and he needs help with peeing. His doctor recommended and supplied condom catheters so that he doesn't need to get up at night to pee. However, my dad doesn't use them. I don't know why, and he doesn't give a straight answer as to why. So my mom gets up 2+ times a night to help him pee into a urinal.


As if that's not bad enough, my dad has recently been waking up in the middle of the night to just get out of bed, to maybe start his day, to maybe just sit in a chair - who knows. He goes downstairs himself, turning on all the lights. He comes back upstairs, leaving all the lights on, complaining that it's cold, and that he wants to sleep again. This is all despite the fact that normally he can barely walk on his own, so it's dangerous for him to be going up and down stairs. My mom doesn't realize that this is happening - she only realizes it when my dad inevitably wakes her up so that she can help him back into bed.


What can my mom do in this situation? How do I help both my dad and her? Something to consider is that he doesn't realize (and becomes indignant when we gently explain to him) that he is causing so much trouble to my mom. My mom is at a loss for what to do.


Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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Is it at all possible for your mother to occasionally sleep in another room? I feel awful after nights of little sleep. Would your father consider wearing incontinence briefs at night? I know I may be suggesting alot. I am not a great sleeper and my husband is recovering from prostrate surgery. He is up frequently at night. I think your mother might benefit from some sort of medication for sleep that a doctor could prescribe. I think that your father should be hopefully made to understand that while his needs are valid his wife's health could detoriate with the present situation which will not benefit their lives at all. I hope you find some solution. Others will offer their advice here which might help you work towards a solution.
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Can they hire someone to help dad during the night? Then mom could go in another room and SLEEP! Even a couple of nights a week would be great for your mom.
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Perhaps it would help if your father went to respite care for a short break. The respite is for your mother, and this might help him to understand more about how things are affecting her. The time in respite with professional carers might also get him used to the catheter and even help with the night waking issue. A possibility? Don’t expect him to like the idea, but you are getting towards the point where he doesn’t make all the decisions. Getting the doctor to recommend it would help.
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Your profile says Dad suffers from Parkinsons. You Dad getting up in the middle of the night thinking its time to get up, could be a sign of Dementia. Which goes hand and hand wit Parkinson's.

My husband was sick with the flu right after Christmas. I couldn't sleep because of his coughing. So, I took my pillow and slept in the guest room for a few nights. Best sleep I have gotten in years. Does Dad have a problem holding the urine bottle? If not, he can do it himself. I go with pull ups at night.
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