How to decide when it's time to sell my house and move on?

What are your needs? Do you anticipate entertaining? Get a unit with a living area and kitchen.

If you feel you will never cook or entertain and don’t want the additional space then look at an efficiency unit.

An efficiency will cost less if you don’t mind living out of one room.

Do you want a luxury type of place with a swimming pool and a gym? A place with a happy hour for cocktails and appetizers? Do you want a place with bridge tables to play cards? What is your lifestyle now?

Would you like a simpler place? What type of food do you like? What religious services are you interested in, if any? Most facilities have Catholic Mass or other services on the premises.

Do you have hobbies? Look at the activity calendars? Do you like going out places? Some have scheduled outings to the nearby casinos and other trips.

They have bus services to dr appointments, drugstores, grocery, etc. There is usually a library on site for reading. Some residents play games like bingo or do arts and crafts.

There are many different types of facilities. Some have independent living units, assisted living and memory care units. Some are considered basic and some are luxurious and quite expensive.

Tour several places. Have lunch during the tour. Talk to residents. Talk to family members. Look for smiling faces with people interacting with each other. Look at how they are treated by the staff.

I have to warn you. It is a huge business. Once they have your name and number they will contact you numerous times to speak about you moving in. Some are extremely pushy and others aren’t.

Best wishes to you. Post any thoughts or questions and everyone will try to help you.

I love your independent attitude! I am glad that you are able to move closer to your loved ones.

It sounds like you are a perfect candidate for a Community that has Independent, Assisted and Memory Care.
You can move into Independent Living and take advantage of all that has to offer, come and go as you please.
As you age and need more help (If that time comes...) you can transition easily to Assisted Living and still take advantage of all the community has to offer.
If the time comes when you need Memory Care that would be there for you as well. (frankly it does not sound like this option would be in your future but you never know)
If you price out Independent Living and not having to pay for all the utilities, for much in the way of food. If you drive the cost of your insurance might go down since many communities have van or bus service you can use. Also the insurance might be less than your current homeowners insurance.
Your other option a condo or Townhouse in a 55 and over community if that appeals to you. There would be an HOA fee but with the other community living upkeep, maintenance is lower than owning a house.
All this depends on what you are comfortable with.
I am in a house that was built handicap accessible and I am now 1 person in a 3 bedroom house. I don't need all the room but I would not leave! This is perfect for me to age into. When I moved in with my Husband 9 years ago I said the only way I will ever move again is when they put a tag on my toe and haul me out feet first!

If you are still Independent, you can find an Independent living community. And sell the house to pay for it. There are many to choose from.
-All the best :)

Hopefully your house isn't full of stuff. Even if one has been diligent about getting rid of things for years(me)when the time comes to getting closer to moving out the reality of the process is exhausting so perhaps you could start now. It's great that you feel energetic because that is required.

I think you should look into what you might want to keep. I agree with others that you sound like a good candidate for Independent Living. If your town has a good policy for bulk garbage pick up start taking advantage of that. Maybe you are truly someone who is more of a minimalist. I thought I was until the time came. We could put out bulk items every week as well as go to our town recycling 4 days a week. We did all that.

It is great to hear from someone like you. I hope you are able to continue with the process and find the new right environment for yourself.

kaymar, I know my next stop when the time comes to sell this big old house is to move to a senior community where there are different levels of care.

Thus, start out with Independent Living where you need no help from Staff or pay for optional minor help. My Dad did that at 95, and he really liked his large two bedroom apartment which had a full size kitchen.

Then later down the road move to Assisted Living or Memory Care which is in the same complex. That way, you will still have your new friends you made in Independent Living there to be your support group.

So, start downsizing "stuff" inside your home, it will make moving much easier then the time comes. What I do is toss out something every trash day or put it in a bag for donating :)

Me, I will head to Independent Living, will still have my freedom and my car! Then when needed I will move up to AL, then who knows, if I do not know where I am it really doesn't make any difference.

Dolly,

Somehow I can’t picture you in assisted living! Independent living, yes but you are living the life I so wish that I could live!

I picture you being like my cousin who is 98 and still drives, goes to exercise class, sews, cooks, cleans her own independent living apartment, shopping, out to lunch and dinner, travels to see family members, etc.

I do wish my cousin would stop driving. She gets speeding tickets and tells off the policemen. She’s a character!

Somehow, I ended up marrying a ‘stable’ engineer. God knows why? LOL I was a free spirit when I met him that went hiking and backpacking all over with the guy I dated before my husband. I think I felt that I needed him to ground me. I do love him. We have been married since 1978.

I could never get hubby on board to be as adventurous as you. He’s a flyer, not much of a driver like you. I like flying but road trips are great too!

I would look for Independent senior living. That way if your needs grow, you can just let them know what YOU need and want.
Also there are Activities and others you can make friends with. It's a little city made for people just like you.
I wish my Father would be willing to like you to go somewhere safe. He is 90 and has the mind of a 40 year old. But we as a family worry about He's physical abilities.
What go to where will make you happy there's nothing worse than spending time where your not happy.

If you are moving soon, perhaps a condo will suit you so that you don't have to worry about upkeep like the lawn and/or snow removal.

You also might want to look into a "progressive" facility. Best friend's mother was in one and it was perfect. The concept is that the facility will accept you now in an apartment that you can handle, and as you age or get sick, will progressively move you from independent to full nursing, if necessary. There is security in knowing that you won't have to struggle to find a place when you really need it - that can end up putting you in a bad situation of accepting low care because you don't have the time/energy to invest in looking for the right spot.

The right place is very important. You are wise to look while you are healthy! When my best friend got sick, she had no idea what to do. I was her POA and HCP, so we made the decision with only 30 minutes leeway from the hospital, and it turned out to be horrible. Ended up moving her, but it took more than a month, moving mountains and threatening lawsuits - which we clearly would have won - to get her into a good place.

Best wishes in your decision

Please consider moving out NOW, before it becomes an emergency.

As others have suggested, consider a "senior apartment" in a facility designed for older adults with various levels of care available.

I’m 70 and just moved from a huge metro-area independent senior living community of 8,000 to a detached home 250 miles away. I’m now in a town of 50,000 and just a few miles from my POA.

I found a senior independent living community too depressing - too many people arguing and trying to control others. Plus, multi-unit buildings were not smoke free. Nice amenities, but seeing many with walkers, canes, and wheelchairs was depressing.

i do have arthritis in my spine and the move exacerbated it - which surprised me. My movers packed up most of my stuff for me, but doing the unpacking of boxes myself left me in pain. I had to take it slow. Would not want to do it again.

Am enjoying my new home - it’s cottage style, open concept,. One step up into house, so a portable ramp will be easy. It’s new construction and I had builders block the bathroom walls before tiling - which allowed nice, decorative (but functional/ADA certified) grab bar installation.

It’s an open concept home, making moving around easy if I ever need a scooter. I found the open concept style can look very “busy” with too much stuff collected over the years. It actually hurts my eyes to see it all - so I’m downsizing finally and sending stuff to the local consignment store.

Like others have mentioned, however, continuing-care senior communities might be your best bet (independent living and step-up accommodations for assisted living and skilled nursing care all in one community). I’m thinking once I get closer to 80, that’ll be my choice. I don’t want to be a burden on my dear POA (I have no children; he’s 15 years younger than me and financially well off ...though I’ve been putting away $$$ for eventual downpayment for continuing care). Continuing care communities that offer “life care” (they can’t kick you out if your funds dry up) are a good choice. Erickson Senior Living Properties in the mid-Atlantic region offer a 90% refund of funds not used (hefty initial downpayment - sort of like paying total cost of long term care up front before it’s needed, but a good chunk refunded back if one moves out or dies & $$$ go to heirs).

Some campus-type continuing care communities can be a hassle when mobility needs are greater. Some that I’ve toured have nice restaurants - but are a good distance from independent living apartments, require a good deal of walking. I’ve toured several that have independent living units all in one building, where all units are just steps from a elevator that takes you to the first floor dining room. With a doctor’s note and small fee, meals can be delivered from the dining room to your unit if you’re sick or can’t get out because of re-hab, etc. so, if you go that route, check on amenities that will keep you in independent living longer.

as to having a detached home, I pay for a landscaping company to do my yard work and have found “handy-folks” to do the mechanical stuff required. With a newly-constructed home, I don’t expect too many problems.

BTW, my POA actually co-shares the home I’m in - he’s owner & I pay the mortgage, which is much less than fair market rental value. It may become his retirement home one day if he chooses to keep it.The arrangement frees up my funds for possible healthcare-crisis related costs and sudden move to assisted living at some point (or skilled nursing). All of my accounts have transfer-on-death beneficiaries, so my POA won’t have to deal with an estate (only property is my car). Wise of you to think of what’s best in your next move. Good luck!

My mom is 76 and lives independently in a villa - all 1 story condos - and shares 1 common wall. She has an end unit, so she has more windows. The association takes care of the grounds, the buildings, the pool and the club house. She is responsible for "wallboard in." Though her condos are not seniors only the majority are seniors. She is a block from a hospital ad doctor offices in Bradenton, Fl.

Find a community with vibrant seniors and 1 story dwelling - always is easier to maneuver when mobility gets tougher. If you stay mentally sharp, you should be able to age gracefully in place with minimal assistance.

Keep going!! Not everyone diminishes as they get older and you probably are one of those, though thoughtful enough to consider planning ahead. Most assisted livings already have taken into consideration the issues regarding ease and mobility, so your main concerns will probably be cost and location to your POA. In the meantime, call your city hall and/or local office on aging for info as there may be services right there at home for you, so you could remain all the longer if you wish. There are also companies out there to help with moving so that all your belongings will be in place when you go to the new place...IF you move:-) Also good if they offer transportation to the grocery...and most important, please make sure you try more than one meal at the place. My aunt moved into one a number of years ago, and the first few weeks it was like a honeymoon...and why didn't she do this sooner....and then the food issues have continued to this day. So horrible, repetitive, awful. They also raise the rent regularly. She spends a lot on food still so she has what to nosh on when the food is unacceptable. PS: my dad is going on 103 and is at home and active; mom is 96, has dementia and is still here as well; I am aging rapidly LOL looking after things...but dad continues to mow the lawn, drive, walk, volunteer...staying engaged and active is clearly the key so long as health permits...and he has had bypass and pacemaker.

1st congratulations on being in good health at 84. I would look for a senior living apartment complex that is well maintained.
God bless you and best of luck.

As a widow my aunt found a ranch condo senior living community where she was very happy. Although my aunt was living independently she did have a health issue requiring medication and monitoring and her son had been doing the mowing and heavy yard work for several years. Her condo was a 2BR 2BA unit with an open living/dining/kitchen area large enough for entertaining small groups and a large one car garage. One bedroom and bath was large enough to handle wheelchair and other aging equipment. The second bedroom and bath were smaller but still good sized for guests or anyone not requiring a wheelchair. The front yard was small and the back yard included a patio and small garden. There was a small basic HMO fee that includes basic yard work and clearing walks, driveways and community roads. Other services were available as requested for additional fees. My aunt initially used heavy cleaning (carpets and windows) and a twice a day check-in services. She eventually added weekly housekeeping.

The community feels like a senior community, has a clubhouse and some planned activities including day trips, semi-organized groups for walking, playing cards, eating out, etc.; however, the optional services allow seniors to turn their unit into a very supportive AL in place as needed for a competitive price. I was impressed enough to purchase my aunt's unit when she died; I'm "renting" it for a few years but that's where I'm downsizing eventually.

good places like CCRC’s (continuing care retirement communities) are in demand. The waiting lists can be three to five years. I would start learning about places, what would be right for you, availability, etc. it doesn’t hurt to know what would work for you. We chose a CCRC which offers independent living with options of assisted living when needed. We have our own apartment, drive, are independent, but , if and when more help is needed, it is here.
Read the fine print of what places ofer, visit, and be prepared to make that decision when you are comfortable moving. It may take several years, so it would not be a bad idea to start now.
Best wishes

I would look around and start searching, but keep in mind that not all Assisted Living places have Nursing Home care facilities. This could be a problem should you need to transfer from AL to NH.

Some places will you let stay for a few days to try it out,

I would work on downsizing & get rid of stuff you don’t need....donate, sell, throw out..& move to smaller apt or Senior living community. Some of them have different levels as you need it...so it can go to ALF. You sound great 👍! Hugs 🤗

Definitely, start looking now just case something effects your health and then you are unable to find or go where you would like to live. There is usually a waiting list at every facility so you need to start now. Get your home sold now, so when an opening does comes available you are ready to take the apartment/condo or room. You might have to rent an apartment and do a month by month lease so if you have to move you are not tied to a long lease and you would have to pay for the months you are not living there. Check with friends or POA if they would be willing to let you rent a room from them until an opening becomes available. You need to find a facility that offers assisted living, memory care and nursing home care. My mother is in a facility in a memory care center due to her having Alzheimer's, but at her location there is a apartment style 4 story building assisted living center across the street that has an elevator to all floors plus parking for those who still drive. Also, all rooms have door ways big enough to accommodate a wheel care or walker. For those that no longer drive they have an assisted bus to take those people to their doctors appointments and shopping, etc. Then on the other side of the parking and facility street is the memory care center and nursing care center. I have toured the facilities and they are quite nice and offers all that one would need. On memory care side my mother 's room isn't very big, but big enough for twin (hospital style) bed, sofa, tv and a recliner, plus a bathroom. Wish you all the best on your search, but don't delay your search and home selling now.

I've told my mother when she start's asking that question then it's time to move,,it is better you decide now where you would like to live than have an incident where someone else makes that decision for you..If you love where you live and could stay with assistance then stay,,I would advise if you can purchase a unit seperate to the main building of an aged care home that is better,,bug's often come in with visitors,,less chance of catching anything in your own unit..

Me personally, I tend to plan for the worst, then it never happens. If I don't and it does I am overwhelmed.

I would want to make things as easy as possible for the POA. I have a Community close to be where u start out in Cottage or Apt working into an AL and then LTC. My Aunt in Fla. just moved to a 2 bedroom home where an AL and LTC are on the same grounds just in there own buildings.

An AL may not be what you need. There are all kinds of Independent livings. Usually, these people can do for themselves. My SILs Mom has her own apartment but the ability to eat in the dining room for her meals. Transportation is available as is activities set up. For you, I may want a place that provides bus trips to plays and other entertainment. Shopping trips.

You will need to research ur area. Maybe a Realtor can help.

I live in a small rural community. Around here lots of people move into a congregate living facility, but usually not until they can’t manage their house in their own. Or they are lonely. Lots of activity, people have their own cars, but there is a community small bus that takes people to appointments, grocery store, for a very small fee. The building has meals you can pay extra for in a dining room, or the apartments have kitchens so many cook their own meals. There is staff there in the day, and even a small store, and a place that therapists come to for those that had knee replacements, etc.
Since you are downsizing to move into a smaller space, it isn’t a big deal if you need long term care.
My Aunt is 83 and still runs in 5K races, drives by herself to Florida for vacation. She is in a condo and likes having neighbors and all the outdoor maintenance done.
I would personally never move into a small space until I could not manage. I like my space and my privacy.
Good luck in your move.

Look for a continuous care type facility where you can live in an independent unit and transition to more care later. Ranch style with no stairs to climb.

If you wanted to live alone, ranch condo that is set up for senior living (no stairs, wide doorways, bath large enough for a wheelchair, low threshold or no threshold shower, grab bars, higher toilet and the like. My parents could have stayed in their home longer (dad drove until he was almost 90,) but the house was not set up for aging and stairs were the biggest hurdle and safety risk.

You are one smart cookie to be thinking ahead now! 👍
I’ve only skimmed the current responses so I apologize if I’m repeating good advice. My advice includes today’s new fears of coronavirus.
1. Before you make any changes, have you prepared legal documents to speak for you if you become unable? That’s a critical step and one that should be reviewed (if not prepared) by an elder.
2. Consider downsizing now BEFORE you move for two reasons. -Less to move and you may decide to give items to family/friends now to avoid misunderstandings later?!
-Most importantly, it keeps you in your current “safe” environment (among your own bugs) until we fully understand the impact of coronavirus. Moving now could be an unknown Pandora’s box.
-If you choose to stay awhile- make any changes to your home now to support you later - grab bars, etc.

all only my opinion,
my best to you!

Why not go to the area you plan to move to and check out what they have. Maybe a smaller one story house, an apt or condo built for seniors/disabled people that accommodate wheel chairs/walkers/better bathroom set ups, etc. Might be a senior community in area you want to be that also has assisted living type rooms if you need that later on. Definitely look for something already modified or could be modified at reasonable expense. For example really roomy bathroom with walk in shower could be accessed easier if the door was widened. My hat is off to you for making this decision for yourself instead of something happening and someone else makes a decision you wouldn't be happy with. Have a wonderful life!

Independent living facility?

Is it within the realm of possibilities to live with POA? Are there/could there be accomodations for your future? Understandably there are reasons for wanting your own place in the near future however consider the time when you are no longer independent. Why make a drastic change that late in life?

My friends decided that they did not want to be a burden to their children. They sold their home and used nearly all their money to "buy in" to a place that promised them as they got older they would be able to go to assisted living, then to a skilled nursing facility on the premises. The place went bankrupt and the company that purchased it will not honor their original contract. It will probably end up in court with more money going down the drain for attorneys. So, use good judgement, if you do purchase into something, and put all your money on their promises, I would have a CPA go over the books to see how solvent they really are.

I would look for an independent living situation that has an agreement with the best nursing home in the area to accept residents who need that level of care on a priority basis.

It wasn't until we needed to put someone in a nursing home that we found out how you get into a good one. (And by that time, it was too late.) The smart people are already in line for the spots well before they need them. You are so smart to get ahead of the problem.

It might be worth your while to hire an aging life specialist for a few hours of consultation. Find one who knows the area you are moving into. They have great information about the best facilities and which independent living situations "feed" into them.

aginglifecare.org

I can't convince my mother to do this. (And she's got two of the best nursing homes in the country near her!). Getting on line for a good nursing home does not increase the probability that you would ever need that level of help. It's just insurance in case you ever do.

A wise woman gave me the best advice ever.

”Do it when you can, not when you have to”.