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My mother is 90 years old and my brother is her financial advisor. I am her 60 year son who lives with her and I am her only caregiver. When I let my brother become her financial advisor he agreed to run all transactions by me. There are few transactions. Now he says he can't work with me and has told my mother that she must not take my advice anymore. He gave her an ultimatum. He says he must ignore me or he refuses to be financial advisor.
I have twenty years experience in finance. I feel this ultimatum puts an undue pressure on my mom to choose between sons. I find that somewhat cruel but that's another story. My mother and I are perplexed as to how to handle this whole situation.

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Is he a Certified Financial Planner, with a license? Report him to his licensing agency.

Every trade that gets made costs your mother money in transaction fees and possibly taxes. This is called "churning". It is done by unscrupulous Financial Planners.

Go to www.bogleheads.org for solid financial information.

At this point in her life, your mother needs a financial advisor like she needs a new skateboard. She needs a trustworthy POA and protections from scammers and wolves.
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luvtomom Oct 2020
Yes he is a CFP. And I am in agreement about needing one.
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"...When I let my brother become her financial advisor he agreed to run all transactions by me. There are few transactions..." So can he make the transactions himself or is your mother making the transactions? Is it a self-directed brokerage account? What transactions are you talking about?

Your mother gave *you* POA, not your brother. If I were you, I would go over with your mother all of her finances as they currently stand and ask her if she's happy with them in terms of the income she's getting from them. Changing allocations and investment instruments in a market that is as volatile as the current one is very risky for someone on a fixed income.

Once you get her finances sorted out, I would see if the brokerage she's with offers CFP services. Most do.

Your brother really has no business putting pressure on your mother - it's a red flag! She needs to stand up to him and say that if she wants his advice she'll ask for it. She also does not need to explain herself to him.
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Your brother appears to be controlling. He is stressing your mom out. Sounds uncomfortable for you and your mom.

See an attorney. If I were your mom I would remove him from handling her financial matters.

I wish your brother success in staying sober but it makes absolutely no sense to place him in a situation where he has temptation or any possibility of more control than he should have.

I have enormous empathy for you. I grew up with an addict. Unfortunately, he died several years ago due to his reckless behavior.

Best wishes to you and your family.
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sounds like it is time to get a new "Financial Planner"
No professional would do that to a client
Like loaning money to a family member or friend I do not think family should do business when it comes to money matters.
I would ask for all your moms paperwork, all the information he has and get a new advisor. Actually your mom should do this if she is capable of doing so.
I do hope that you have the ability to also see her accounts just to make sure that nothing is amiss once she finds another financial advisor.
Take this opportunity to review all her paperwork as well. Health Care directives in order? Does she have a Will that is current? does she have updated beneficiaries where needed? and all the other "stuff" that goes with this. A visit to an Elder Care Attorney might be in order. If mom does not want to "ruffle feathers" she can just say that she is doing a end or beginning of the year review of all her papers to make sure they are up to date and there would be nothing that would create a problem if anything should happen
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luvtomom Oct 2020
Thanks, I agree that "no professional would do that to a client"
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As a CFP how does your brother make money? Is his income based on the assets of his clients or is he commissioned? If he's commissioned he makes money every time he changes investments. As a CFP he is a fiduciary and any investment changes must be in the best interest of your mom. Are they? At 90 yrs old she should be in cash and income producing securities not Twitter or risky investments. His “churning” of her acct smells fishy, and, in fact, is illegal. If you are her financial POA you have a right to see those transactions. Your POA became effective and actionable on the date it was signed regardless if mom is competent or not unless it is a springing or conditional POA which I never recommend. Check your POA document. In fact, if written properly, it gives you the right to choose a CFP for her. Is your brother using HIPPA regs to prevent you from seeing her acct? If you have a springing POA you can still file a complaint with the CFP Board of Standards. I would threaten your brother with that move if his behavior continues. If you have a regular POA fire him now and find someone else. He is obviously not complying with CFP ethic standards.
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luvtomom Oct 2020
I just read the POA again. It is a Durable Power in California and it took effect upon signing. So I can fire him and act on the assets as I read it. Wow, Thank you so much.
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I ask the same question BarbB asked:    why does she need a financial advisor?   At her age, or for that matter anyone in the "older" range, she needs guaranteed income.   She doesn't need to be another Gordon Gekko.  

I wouldn't disagree that the economic upheavals of this year demand at least an assessment of the portfolio, but I just don't see the rationale for so much apparent attention.  

Greed and control would be what I would suspect are the motives for your brother's wannabe takeover of your mother's finances.   I wouldn't allow this under any circumstances.
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Luvtomom, a durable power of attorney allows you to execute MOM's wishes, not yours.

As I said in a post to you several years ago, regardless of your POA, she is allowed to make BAD decisions.

I think it would be best to get an eldercare attiorney involvedbat this point. If you talk mom into firing brother, that could be seen as "undue influence" same as brother is doing.

You need a neutral 3rd party. And you need to be compensated for your caregiving.
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luvtomom Oct 2020
Thanks again for your advice. My mother told me today she won't be forced to decide by my brother. The situation will stay as is and he will have to decide for himself. The whole thing is very stressful for her. At some point a neutral person may be needed.
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Of course, I have absolutely no proof. It’s purely speculation but I did grow up with an addict so I do recognize certain signs and red flags.

When mom was living with me I found out that she named my drug addicted brother as her POA. I just about blew a rod. After composing myself, I asked mom why would she do such a thing.

Her response to my question floored me. She said, “Well, I wanted him to feel important and to feel that I trust him. He feels worthless.”

I was completely taken aback by her answer. Then I told her that I was utterly devastated and disappointed with her poor judgment.

I told her that daddy would never have allowed such a thing to occur and that we were going to an attorney to have him removed immediately.

She agreed but was still concerned more about his feelings than being practical and protecting herself. Not to mention how it effected me, the daughter who did everything for her.

I was hurt. I was shocked. There are no words to describe how it felt to see my mom live with the constant stress.

I had empathy for her but let’s be honest, she invited this into her life when she assigned him as her POA.

Some parents can be blind when it comes to their children. Plus she’s old school.

My brother was her first born and she feels men are more important than women. I was only regarded as a servant.

How do you know that your brother isn’t using? No one gets past their addiction. They stay in recovery.

Some don’t even make it that far and even if they do, the risk of relapse is always a short step away.
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"It's, ok, brother, Mom and I understand that this is giving you more stress, than any of us realize. Mom and I can figure it out. If we have questions, we will ask her CPA." (unless brother is her CPA).

Stress happens brother, and don't worry about it. We can handle it from here.

Love You. Rest up. Dealing with Covid, taking care of Mom, and your family, we totally understand. Sometimes it gets to overwelming.
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Have you run bro’s name on FINRA?
and also if he was in a smaller local firm, run the names of the principals of group on FINRA as well. Even if the firm dissolved.

Guys that churn accounts usually have a lively FINRA.
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