My mother makes choices in her daily life that could affect me. Some now and some in the future after she dies. She is in her right mind so she can make her own decisions. But they are bad decisions a lot of the time. And I have to get involved because of her decisions sometimes. And dealing with her is very difficult. Or she might end up in the hospital because of a decision. That hasn't happened yet. But it could have. It's very stressful dealing with her. Even though I try to keep my distance emotionally. She is co-dependent with my brother that has a personality disorder that complicates things even more. My father died six years ago. There is no one else. She would not listen to anyone anyway. She is rigid. I just wish she would die or just go away so I wouldn't have to deal with her anymore. She is 88 years old and can't walk without a walker. But lives in her house alone. Brother stays over three or four days a week. But won't help her much. So I can't just go no contact. Actually I hardly visit and mostly use the phone to communicate with her. Still wish she would just go away. My life would be much less stressful.
Hang in there - you are making an investment in your children and I believe it will pay off for you in great dividends one day. You are not alone. You are doing a great job.