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Sounds to me like he's at Stage 6: severe cognitive decline (moderately severe or mid-stage Alzheimer’s disease). At this stage, memory difficulties continue to worsen, significant personality changes may emerge, and affected individuals need extensive help with daily activities.
He may, for example, (1) Lose most awareness of recent experiences and events as well as of their surroundings; (2) Recollect his personal history imperfectly; and (3) Occasionally forget the name of their spouse or primary caregiver.
To be absolutely sure, have him evaluated again. Don't forget to ask the doctor to give you an idea as to what to expect so you can be prepared.
Ed is probably right about the physical side, but it seems you mean the personal hurt of not being remembered. For your husband's sake, when he asks for his wife, tell him she will be here soon. For your sake, remind yourself of the marriage you shared. His forgetting things has nothing to do with the reality of all you shared and loved and had together. Hold on to those memories. Those are real things that happened and made you happy - they are no less now just because you can't share them. I hope the happy memories keep you good company.
My mom went through this with my dad for about 12 years, he would get mean and tell her she might be "someone's wife" but she sure wasn't his...........this nightmare ended in 1995 when he passed away, I have no advice for you ther than to hang in there. I'm terribly sorry about you situation.
My Brother and his wife had the same problem. He would recognize younger pictures of her, but not the present. They got her a badge with her name, old photo and recent photo on it.
This is a tough problem and you have received many great suggestions. My main advice would be to reach out for help and keep reaching out to friends, professionals, support groups, on line support, family, church or religious organization and even strangers. Tell your story, ask for advice and do your grieving. Dementia creates horrible losses for all touched by it.
Dealing with and loving someone with Alzheimer's can be very devastating ,especially when they get to the point where they don't recognize you anymore .However, you must rejoice in the good times (though they may be few and far between ) . There will be days when he knows exactly who you are and days when he couldn't pick you out in a crowd , but the best thing you can do is laugh , laugh ,laugh . Enjoy this time together and don't take everything so seriously . Try to see the lighter side of things . -------- My dad suffered from Alzheimer's and sometimes he didn't know who my mom ( his wife of 45 yrs.) was , but the days before she passed ( cancer) he knew exactly who she was and even remembered times from when they first met .------------Also , if you are a praying woman ,pray ,pray ,pray ,pray and pray some more . God will definitely carry you through these rough times .-------------- God Bless
Perhaps this video that I found for you will be of some support~ Click here: Jan's Story: A Love Lost to Alzheimer's - CBS News Video -or check out online----another suggestion, is to try to go to the Alzheimer's Spouce-website Last, but not least get as mush support as you can-like through the Alzheimer's Association-or call them at their hotline numver-which is (800) 272-3900. If possible DO NOT forget to take some ME TIME---as it may help with your caregiving journey. Best~ Hap (Please get back to us in this forum)
Mom is the same way. Trying to remind them or arguing with them only makes it worse. Just go along with him and cherish the times he does remember you. He will at times be living in the past, and think he is much younger than he is, therefore, he would not know you. Try not to take it personally. maybe your local hospital has a support group that you can go to and discuss your feelings with people who are going through the same things and you. It can help you to understand and accept what is happening.
Ed is for sure right! things of this nature are signs that more skill may be needed to care for him, and sounds to me that you are having a hard time dealing with this, maybe, u couldf look into assisted living if you really feel it taking a toll on you, that doesnt mean you still cant go see him all the time and be there to support him the same way you are now, I do it, and my mom is starting to accept and enjoy where she is,after battling almost more than a year of wanting to come home, begging and crying, this stuff is tough for us, I know it sucks, but this too shall pass,,,,,,good luck and keep us posted~
I read a great article (can't remember from where) that explained that people with Alz may lose their memory backwards. First they forget short-term, then the last year, last 10 years etc.
it explained how one man didn't like going into the bathroom because there was a stranger in there. His family finally figured out that he saw his reflection in the mirror and thought it was someone else. In his mind he was young and didn't know that person in the mirror was him.
Maybe your husband is looking for a younger version of you. I think the idea of the badge with 2 pictures is great. Take some comfort that he remembers you, just at a different state in life.
The article said this is why some people start calling their kids by other names (like friends or siblings). They have gone back so far that in their minds they don't have kids yet.
Nelson, I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. It's such a heartbreaking time for you. Julie, thanks for sharing your information. Now it makes sense to me why my dad one time thought I was a girl he went to high school with. Not having him know me sure hurt but it just brought into perspective how his mind was working at the time.
Mom was talking about going out with the girls one afternoon. I asked her what girls and she said the ones from work. So I thought she meant the ladies at daycare. She said who? So I asked her how old she was, and she answered about 25 or 26. Then I knew she was young again. so we had a conversation about where they were going, and eventually I changed the subject. not much you can do except redirect them to a different subject. Trying to explain or calm them down only adds to their frustrations.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Sounds to me like he's at Stage 6: severe cognitive decline
(moderately severe or mid-stage Alzheimer’s disease). At this stage, memory difficulties continue to worsen, significant personality changes may emerge, and affected individuals need extensive help with daily activities.
He may, for example, (1) Lose most awareness of recent experiences and events as well as of their surroundings; (2) Recollect his personal history imperfectly; and (3) Occasionally forget the name of their spouse or primary caregiver.
To be absolutely sure, have him evaluated again. Don't forget to ask the doctor to give you an idea as to what to expect so you can be prepared.
Wish you the best JD, and keep us posted.
-- ED
Great suggestion!!!.
Carol
Inside Aging Parent Care
Click here: Jan's Story: A Love Lost to Alzheimer's - CBS News Video -or check out online----another suggestion, is to try to go to the Alzheimer's Spouce-website
Last, but not least get as mush support as you can-like through the Alzheimer's Association-or call them at their hotline numver-which is (800) 272-3900.
If possible DO NOT forget to take some ME TIME---as it may help with your caregiving journey.
Best~
Hap (Please get back to us in this forum)
it explained how one man didn't like going into the bathroom because there was a stranger in there. His family finally figured out that he saw his reflection in the mirror and thought it was someone else. In his mind he was young and didn't know that person in the mirror was him.
Maybe your husband is looking for a younger version of you. I think the idea of the badge with 2 pictures is great. Take some comfort that he remembers you, just at a different state in life.
The article said this is why some people start calling their kids by other names (like friends or siblings). They have gone back so far that in their minds they don't have kids yet.
Julie, thanks for sharing your information. Now it makes sense to me why my dad one time thought I was a girl he went to high school with. Not having him know me sure hurt but it just brought into perspective how his mind was working at the time.