I while back I had some trouble with my dad's second wife. When he first came to live with me, she did not agree. Long story short, after the first year, his wife sued us, and I mean my dad also!!
So in the legal discovery they asked to see all the receipts for his care, etc., thinking I was somehow making a "profit" from his $600 in social security each month. The suit is over, but for my own piece of mind -- I should probably do some accounting. (Let me tell yah, the only people that "got" anything from the suit were the lawyers)
But how do I split up the grocery receipt? In fact, we shop at the local farmer's market -- and most often than not there is no receipt? Plus I pay rent, do I just allocate a percentage? My dad has the master bedroom and bath.
When I read a comment in another post about how the county conservator "estimated percentages" I thought maybe that's the way to set things up. How was that set up? Is there some industry standard for percentages they establish?
Some of you out there will have input for this I'm sure.
Carol
Sounds to me like second wife had a vendetta over something other than the SS money and people with vendettas are dangerous.
Isn't it pitiful that while trying to care for your father, you got blasted? Just goes to show you that no matter how good your intentions are, you can still get in trouble. I cared for my mom with good intentions and got blasted by her lawyer. Now I wonder when she'll blast me again.
Good luck to you and your dad.
Last people I'd go to are lawyers. One lawyer helped with my dad's paperwork and another with his Will. Guess what, when the suit came around -- they both clammed up and wanted to be paid for any help.
Maybe I can find a financial advisor that specializes in setting up this kind of accounting -- any recommendations?
I guess maybe it would help if someone, maybe who is an official conservator or has activated their parent's financial power of attorney duties, and what they set up. Simple things, like do I start an Excel spreadsheet, utilize some section of Quicken, look up the guidelines in IRS publication 123, etc. Where do I start?
Right now all my dad's costs "blend" in with mine. I don't separate out "his" groceries or the cost of "his" room in my house, or the help of my live-in assistant/maid/nanny with "his" specific care.
I mean in the "old" world it's all family and who needs to "separate" it out, but I have been introduced already to the U.S. legal system and our messed up tort system. I will need to build up substantial and extremely conclusive documentation for any future eventuality. By the way, I'm not doing it for some pot at the end of the rainbow, I just want enough to quickly and cheaply defend myself in any future frivolous claim from his 2nd wife.
Adult children who become caregivers need to enter this venture knowing all consequences.Far too many let their heart or guilt rule and dive right in . . . just like the 3 of us did.
Those who think their elderly parent or sibling won't turn on them or cause legal problems need to wake up. It's ugly.
This has taught me and my family to be prepared for the worst, be careful what you sign and be careful who you trust.
Good luck!
Hap :-)