My dads only 68 he has cirrhosis of the liver and is sick most of the time! His blood test look good and he eats a lot everything I serve him! He has his own place but lately my sister has been pushing for him to come stay withe more often! I have 4 kids and a husband, how much time is reasonable for me to offer to care for my dad? My sister keeps saying that he needs 24 hour care but I don't agree under what circumstances would someone need 24 hour care?
Can the person still do activities of daily living on his own, or does he need help getting meals, going to the bathroom, getting into and out of chairs, the bed, etc. Does his poor judgement put him at risk? How would he manage in an emergency, such as a fire?
There may be a standard list of things to consider. If so, I hope someone will be along to share that.
I'm sorry but there seems to be a type in your post. Who does your sister think Dad should spend more time with?
If someone needs 24-hour care that may mean they should not be left alone, but it is OK for him to sleep in a house with someone else sleeping there. Or it may mean he needs to have someone awake and alert to care for him around the clock.
Either meaning is met very well in a long-term care facility, such as assisted living, a group home, or a nursing home, depending on the level of care needed.
My husband, with dementia, CHF, and a few other chronic conditions, could not be left alone. But he did not need constant care (and I had not other dependents in the house). He was fine staying at home with me. My mother needed help with all activities of daily living and really needed three shifts of care persons available. She is thriving in a nursing home.
How much time you should commit to helping Dad depends heavily on your other responsibilities. Certainly you have a huge commitment to your husband and children, which must come first. If Dad really needs 24-hour care (and a doctor could help with that decision) I think it is time to look for a long-term-care center for him. Then the question becomes how much time can you commit to visiting him. Half-an-hour a day? Two afternoons a week? Lots of possibilities then.
Except it isn't fair shares, because you already have your hands full. And if your sister believes that your father needs 24/7 support, and she may have a point, she will have to come up with another solution that doesn't include his staying with you. Do you have any ideas? What do you think your father's needs really are?