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We have our "Mama Flo" on a scheduled (recommended by her primary physician). She goes to bed at 10:00 p.m. and gets up at 10:00 a.m. She still wants to doze all day long. We are continually having to wake her up. She is NOT on any medications that would make her sleepy. Someone is always with her, or at least in the house with her, whether it be my husband and/or I, or our caretaker who helps when we are both away. We are continually waking her up. We recently started putting her to bed at 9:00 p.m.--that seemed to help at first--but, she is STILL wanting to sleep!!! Help!! How much sleep does she need? She generaly takes 30 minute to 1 hour nap after her lunch at 2:30. It just doesn't seem to be enough...????

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oh just think if ure 93 yrs old what would u like to be doing ?
my dad is 87 yrs old , sleeps all day and all evening and allnight . only time he cans tay awake is when we re going for a joy ride , stays awake long enuff to watch lawrence welk or hee haw , or if he s hungry .
infants sleeps alot then they get older and stay awake more and be a hand full till they grow into 40s or 50 s gotta have a nap then when they retired , nothing sounds good but sleep . then they become a infants stage and then they dont wake up anymore . its a cycle of life . sleep sleep till its time to sleep forever .
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You know what? I am 73 yrs young and I sleep for 12 hrs every night and have been doing so since retiring. Sometimes I feel as tho that isn't enough even. You say he is under the care of a physician so let it be. Poor soul has earned the right to do whatever he wants......clsichasi
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Has she been checked for Narcolepsy, or low blood sugar?
My Mother's geriatric specialist said their biological clocks get turned around--want to stay up at night and sleep in the day-- but it sounds like your Mother sleeps day and night.
My Mother is 93. I wish she would take just a 10 minute nap during the day and not jump up every 5 SECONDS, so we could go to the bathroom, do the dishes, take a shower. If she did not take Seroquel at night, she would probably not sleep then either.
Have you tried "engaging" your Mother in conversation? Really stimulating her? Maybe she's bored? Play music, get a puppy to lick her face--anything to keep her alert! Good Luck!
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OK...I'm a little confused here. Just signed on here today, because I was surfing around the internet trying to find some statistics, information or guidance with regard to sleep patterns of the elderly...uh, BECAUSE I CARE DEEPLY FOR AND LOVE my mother-in-law. Wow. Thank you, lhardebeck for your "words of wisdom", input and your hug. On the other hand, "clsichasi"...uh...I don't know if you are taking to ME, or to lhardebeck...because you say "HE"...my Mother-in-Law is one of the sweetest, kindest and most precious people I have ever known. No one here has inferred that she hasn't earned the right to do anything. Yes, she has doctors...several, in fact. She has regular visits with them. But, they don't LIVE here and are not with her 24 hrs. a day. We are on top of all that goes on with her, are in touch with her doctors, go to all appointments; we keep her medications set up and know what she is taking and why she is taking it. She is well coiffed, nails done, dressed, enjoys delicious and beautiful meals that are prepared for her three times a day, enjoys a couple glasses of wine every evening...I could go on. She has a good life, and is treated like a QUEEN. No one deserves it more than she does. Her primary physician suggested (when she was diagnosed with Early Dementia about a year and a half ago) that we keep her on a schedule, so, like I said--bed at 10, up at 10. It has worked well. She loves to play crossword puzzles, (I make a copy and we play together), she loves certain shows on tv, she plays bridge once a week. Again, I won't go on. My point is, she's fun and is still full of life...but, mostly if you are sitting WITH her and keeping her entertained! :-) Yes, she is "under the care of physicians"...but, WE have the responsibility of taking care of her and doing what is best. I simply was trying to find out from someone...anyone... what the "norm" is, if there is one. I am not looking for criticism. Hey, I am 56, and I need my sleep, too! Take care, everyone. If you have any suggestions, or you've experienced this situation and can offer any help, please let me know. Otherwise, I'd really rather not have any negativity or criticism from anyone. Thanks, again, lhardebeck! :-)
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Thank you, christina28, for your input. See...this is what I am looking for. I KNOW there are other people out there with same or similar situations!!! No, no problem with narcolepsy or low blood sugar. She is stimulated ALL DAY LONG. After lunch, she takes a 30 min. to l hr. nap. If you leave her room for five minutes, she drops off!!! She's even fallen asleep over her meal tray. Go figure! It is almost like having an infant, like lhardebeck said...and we r just fighting hard for her NOT to get her days and nights mixed up!!! We want what's best for HER...but we have to take care of ourselves, too (right?!) Like I said earlier...I guess we just don't want to "let her go!"...the more her dementia progresses and the more she's wanting to sleep, I feel like we are just watching her slip away. I've described it as kinda like playing "tug o' war"...she's slowly letting go of the rope, while we're trying to "hold her up!" Take care everyone!!! :-)
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I don't think there is a "norm". My 93 yr old relative goes to bed about 10, and gets up anytime between 5:30 and 8, depending on when she feels like it. Sometimes she takes a nap in her chair in the afternoon. I knew a 97 yr old who was still active and involved who slept like anyone. I knew another 93 yr old who seemed to mostly sleep. I think it depends on the person and their overall health.
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OK, ktrafnel, I apologize, and did not assume you were not giving the best care to your Mother in law. There are all kinds of situations on this site. If you read some others, you might understand why I said what I said.
Anyway, lhardebeck is one of the sweetest people on AC--an Angel, no less, so you are absolutely correct about her.
I was not criticizing, and my Mother is as well taken care of as your MIL. I will not list the things I do for her, same as yours. However, my Mother cannot see to do anything herself, and we cannot let her fall, so must watch her while she is awake--at least 14-16 hours straight.
Also, there is NO NORM for dementia, except unpredictable behavior, no consistency, no logical sequence of events, as the disease progresses.
Again, I apologize if you thought I was negative. I am realistic.
We are here for you if anything changes. Even moi.
Apologetic HUGS, KT!
Christina
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OH OH OH!! I thought I had made a mistake and you were talking to me!!! Sorry, KT! I always take the blame for things. I have had a difficult few days, so I am overly sensitive--but still willing to help if I can.
Can I start over?:)
Christina
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No! Christina! You read me wrong! It was the 73 yr. old before you...I thought her comments were "snarfy"... Read what she says. Basically, for us to "leave it alone"..."that the poor old soul has earned the right to do whatever (s)he wants!" Good grief! I was ready to run! And, just delete myself! Wow!!! I appreciate your being realistic and appreciate all you've said. I find MOST people who have never been where we are have NO IDEA what this is about!!! Thank YOU and the other "angel"!!! Hugs to both of you! :-) No apology needed!
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ktrafnel- you ll get all kind sof good and the bad commets . with the bad ones ijust ingore it . christina is a sweetheart also . i just want to reach out and grab her and hug her hard , and i feellike i want to hug u hard too . :-)
yes we dont want our lovin parents to slip away . so sad but then sometimes i think they want to slip away , get tired of living same old same ole , everyday , my mom was young when she passed on , always said i lived a good life , i want to go meet my master . thats all she ever think of is to go meet her master , she was tired of living with cancer , god bless her soul !
come back and keep us update or just to be talking to eachother , always a pleasure to meet someone new .
like i said hateful commets , just ingore it . say few cuss word in ur mind then ah u ll feel better . xoxoxo
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OK...I can see I've gained two new friends and comrades!!! Woo Hoo!!! Ya'll have made my day. Am listening on our monitor (we can hear her and we can talk to her--it's great in a two story house!!!)...she's snoring away...or, purring as I like to call it...ya'll sleep well. Thanks for everything~! I hope that maybe I can at some point add a thing or two that might help you or someone else from time to time!!! Night, night...from Tallahassee, Florida, USA!!! :-)
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Oh yeah, Babe! WE're here, and we're listening on stereo, too!!! Isn't that FUN? All night long, I have my husband's snores in my right ear, and my Mother's snores, moans, and snorts in my left ear coming thru the monitor!! WHOO HOO!!! KT--you sound like the pageant girls: And Night Y'all, from the Big OC, California, USA, where the elite come to beat their feet, and the sardines can't wait to be bait!!! Love you!!! HUGS Christina
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I also have a 93 year old mom who lives with me and I have to watch her most of the time. She is always falling asleep during the day, she goes to bed at 9:-00 pm and gets up most of the time at about 10:00 am. I just think that elderly people just sleep alot.
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my mom is 97 and up to a couple weeks ago never slept during the day now thats all she does
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I am caring for a 93 year old woman, who I have become very close too. I just want to know what does someone her age really like to do? I ask her, she says she don't know. She is not on very many meds and still has a pretty sharp mind. I just want to do something with her that would make her happy. I could really use some insight on this.
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Hi Penny88, start by asking her questions about herself; her childhood, schooling, family, ancestry, hobbies. People usually like to talk about themselves and feel good when someone is Interested in them! She will be thrilled. You're a Sweetheart:) xo
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Maybe she would like it if you cooked a favorite old recipe together...
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Thanks to all of you for great suggestions and real life experiences. My 90 year old dad came to live with me last year and I'm finding my way through doing what is best for him. I'm finding that as the weather gets cooler, he is sleeping more but am thinking that is normal as I'd like to stay in bed longer at this time of year too! Other than that he is in great shape. Sees his Drs. regularly an just had his medication reduced because he is doing so well. So I guess I should not be concerned about his sleep patterns but it is nice to know there are others out there to reach out to when I need it! Thanks all and good luck and God Bless too!
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This extended sleeping has to be normal. My mom is 92 and up until a few years ago could literally run rings around me. She is very well cared for and physically healthy but has suffered from alzhiemers for the past eight years. Lately she is really slowing down. We do the same routine nearly every day. Up between 7am and 10. 2 hrs to eat breakfast and dress. some kind of outing to church, grocery, or beatyshop or maybe lunch out.. Rest in lounge chair or on porch looking at books or magazines, another little outing like post office or errand so she gets out of house. Then dinner, bath, between 8 and 10pm. I use a baby monitor to wake me if she gets up at night, as she often does, but now it is easier and easier to redirect her back to bed. When she gets up at night she is hard to get up in the morning. About every third day I just let her sleep in an then do a longer afternoon outing and shes ready for dinner bath and bed. Reminds me of the early years with my children. Not much me time. Actually, this sleepy stage is alot easier to deal with than the early aggitated phase.
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I realize this is an old post, but I'll put my two cents in here. First, the woman is 93!!! What difference does it make that she sleeps all the time? Is she missing some important appointments or something? My sisters and I care for our parents who are 90. They also sleep pretty much all the time. Mom can stay awake if we're taking her to the doctor, but then when she gets home she's pretty exhausted and will sleep sitting up for the rest of the day until we feed her or put her to bed. Dad sometimes falls asleep on the way to the doctor, in the doctor's office and then sleeps for about 24 hours after the outing, except for meals. It is perfectly normal for elderly people to sleep most of the time. Their bodies are wearing out. Their hearts can't take the activity without being a little stressed. Not enough for a heart attack, necessarily, but frankly, if you live long enough and nothing else kills you, you will probably die of congestive heart failure because your heart just wears out.

Now this does not mean that ALL elderly people sleep all the time. I don't want to get angry responses from people arguing that their mother/father/MIL/aunt/whoever is out dancing every night. Good for them! My 95-year-old aunt is still going strong too, but she does sleep more than she used to and tires more easily.

I remember when I was young I volunteered in a nursing home. I used to hate to walk the halls and see elderly people sound asleep in their wheelchairs all over the place. I thought it was a sign of neglect on the part of the staff. But then I started taking care of my folks and realized that something as simple as getting up and getting dressed and walking out to the family room will wear my dad out so much that he falls asleep immediately. I have to wake him up to feed him breakfast. Then he falls asleep again. I give him the morning paper to read and he falls asleep holding it. He gets up to use the bathroom, then goes back to his chair and falls asleep. When he had his physical a few months ago the doc said that he is very healthy for a man his age, and the sleep thing is perfectly normal.

So don't worry about your mom sleeping, and certainly don't give her stimulants to make her stop. Enjoy the quiet time, for heaven's sake!
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My mums 90 and needs new false teeth she is on benefits as she is not a very well lady doesn't she get any help paying for teeth or does she pay for them herself .
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My friend is 99 & 3/4. Her birthday is in July. She dose not have an appetite and the doc says to give her 3 ensures a day. We are lucky to get her to drink 1. She is on a fentanyl patch and was wondering if it could be that? Anybody have any experience with this? Thank you for any advice or your experience.
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These sleepy ones should be tested for sleep apnea. With this condition a person wakes up dozens or hundreds of times during the night (but isn't aware of it) and thus does not get a restful night's sleep. It is very treatable, but most people don't know they have it and don't get treated. Now that I'm being treated, I feel like a completely different person--energetic, positive, not depressed.

Ask your primary care doctor about having a sleep study. He/she should send you to a sleep specialist doctor for the test and diagnosis.
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Sleep apnea can be dangerous. It causes low blood oxygen, which is implicated in heart attacks and strokes. When I was diagnosed, my blood oxygen was in the 80s (it should be 100% or close to it), and I had had 2 small strokes.
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Sarah, are you 93?

I'm not saying it's impossible that the OP's mother has the same condition as you, but I think there might be simpler explanations. Like being very old and very tired.

All the same, I'm delighted for you that you've found a life-changing solution and I completely agree that it's something always to be considered.
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No, my husband is 91, and he seems to sleep 20 out of 24 hours. He had a sleep study and doesn't have apnea. I am 76 and I do have it. So one never knows....
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do you know if it is normal for an 88 year old with dementia and is also bipolor to sleep 10 to 15 hours a day. She has always been aloner and has no interests. Use to read and do needlework. Not anymore. Does not like tv,sitting outside. Take her out and wants to go home immediately. Has no patience. Just says I wish there is a pill to take so I could die. It is very depressing.
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bobby1, I would have her bipolar medications reevaluated, if possible. It sounds as though she is in a depressive state and cannot get out of it.

With the advancement of the dementia, it's possible that her medications would need to be evaluated again anyway.
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Hi bobby1--my Father 90 sleeps from 2:30 pm to 8am. Has no interest in anything except eating.
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Thank you for all of your responses. It makes me feel like we are doing the right thing to let my 93 year old mom sleep when she wants too. We also try not to plan back to back outings or doctor appointments because that wears her out a lot.
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