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Difficult question which I have to ask but here it goes. I am the sole responsible party for my dad. He is in AL MC diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. At last count he has 21 DRs. 1:Dermatologist and derma surgeon
2: ophthalmologist and neuro ophthalmologist
3: urologist and uro oncologist
4: neuro oncologist
5: geriatric neurologist
6: audiologist
7: cardiologist
8: pulmonologist
9: family Dr
10: dentist
11: neurologist (specialist in neuropathy)
12: orthopedic and ortho surgeon (scoliosis and chronic back pain)
13: rheumatologist



I work full time and it seems that I need to ask permission to work not for time off



I am losing my mind with all of these DRs. My husband states I should drop all of them and just keep family DR.



how do you manage drs for your loved ones?

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Answer to 1 question might take care of 99% of the list.
What treatment would you take if he is diagnosed with -----------?
If you would not follow up with a treatment then there really is no need for the diagnosis.
and...
Is he taking medication from each of the doctors listed?
Would stopping any of the medication result in cutting his life short or causing undue pain? (Keep in mind with the diagnosis of Alzheimer's his life is cut short and he is not living a "quality" life at this point.)
Is he compliant with each doctor? with each test done? and any follow up? If not discontinue that doctor.
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SusanHeart Jun 2023
Unfortunately yes he is compliant except for showers (insert crazy eye emoji here) hahaha
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At a certain age, going to a doctor unless you have a special need, special physical ailment requiring a specialist, should not be done. I am 80. I have one general practitioner. I am on Kaiser. If I have a special problem with eyes, heart and etc (am in chronic atrial fib) I see a specialist. I had breast cancer three plus decades ago; I no longer do mammograms and etc by my own choice.
You may wish to discuss palliative care with doctors now if you are medical POA. At some point keeping someone alive, and seeing conflicting docs for different things can almost be harmful. You should see your elder's ONE general practitioner now, tell him or her that all medical followup will be through that doctor unless a specialist is required for an illness.
Wishing you luck. Clearly your elder is being used as some sort of cash vending machine, or is very very ill indeed.
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SusanHeart Jun 2023
Thank you Alva you helped me not feel so guilty or feel I am neglecting him. For his age 82 my father is in really good condition actually. Skin problems due to hygiene, the cognitive challenges due to a frontal lobe meningioma treated with radiation but otherwise relatively good health for his age.

Dr's keep adding up due to safety unawareness :-( thus multiple falls.

It is sad that the elder has become a cash cow for medical services.

Best wishes and again Thank you <3
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I also lucked into an excellent situation using the medical staff associated with my LO’S residence.

They never hesitated to let us know if a specialist was needed, and most of the care LO needed was addressed on site.
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Simply use the doctor affiliated with dad's AL/MC and that shaves 20 doctors off the list right there. I refused to schlep my mother w dementia to any docs and we used the in house PCP in her AL/MC and things went perfectly. With dementia at play, most of us are not trying to take life extending medical care ANYWAY. So what's the point of running yourself ragged? The AL normally has a traveling dentist who can work on his teeth, if need be, from the comfort of his easy chair in his room. It's super expensive but worth it imo.

Good luck to you
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SusanHeart Jun 2023
Thank you Lealonnie; aside from dentist, his NP/GP and neuro I got away with all of them.
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My dad is much older (101) and has few heath problems but when he has been the the hospital he gets referred to all sorts of specialists. I ignore those referrals and just let the physician at the assisted living know that unless she thinks it's necessary I'm not going to make the appointments. So far she's saved both time and money. The dermatology referral would have created multiple trips and mohs surgery for a skin cancer that will never grow enough to kill him; the nephrologist referral would have resulted in many, many visits for his failing kidneys (which are going to fail anyway and we'd never put him through dialysis), and one of the specialist prescribed medications would have cost thousands a month and the AL physician substituted a generic which required more monitoring but that could be done by the AL nursing staff. At a certain point you should stop trying to CURE anything. You should also ask yourself if the treatment is really necessary. Many tests and treatments are prescribed not because they are really necessary but because it is available and standard of care for a much younger person. I always check and defer to the AL physician because she and I have the same understanding.
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My mom saw her primary doctor, her neurologist for Parkinson’s disease, eye doctor and dentist.

Just do the basics. Don’t kill yourself with all of the specialist.

Wishing you all the best.
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Use the PCP at the facility . I assume a podiatrist comes to the facility to cut toe nails. Perhaps a dentist and audiologist and optometrist comes to the facility as well.

The PCP can oversee a lot of these other things and can write renewals for medications. Let the PCP decide when Dad needs to go back to see a specialist , if at all .

My FIL with dementia gets seen every 2 weeks by his PCP in AL because he has fantastic insurance . He doesn’t need to be seen that often, but he likes the attention . We’ve cut specialists unless he needs to go . He did go to the hematologist this year for severe anemia.

When my mother had dementia she decided she only wanted to see the PCP in her facility and the podiatrist. She was tired of doctors.
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Your husband and i think alike.
i would have him palliative care.
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Kk9251 Jun 2023
Sounds right to me.
can u elaborate on what palliative care provides at home?
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You may just need more beautiful dogs, not doctors to solve your problem!
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February question. I hope the OP has cut down on some of those doctors.
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JoAnn29 Jun 2023
OP responded 14 hrs ago to ur original post.
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