My husband has later stage Alzheimer's and has been declining over the past several weeks. I care for him at home by myself as all of our family live out of state. I also work full-time, but work from home 2 days/wk - so 3 days/wk, I've been taking him to an Alzheimer's day care while I go into the office. But he's become too weak and frail to do that any more - so I've hired in-home help. He won't let the in-home help come near him and so doesn't eat at all during the day while I'm at the office - and only eats/drinks a little when I come home. They try and put food and Ensure on his bed table, but he ignores it. Even when I'm with him during the day, he eats/drinks very little. He can't/won't get up up, so I'm cleaning/changing him in bed, which I don't feel is adequate. I'm mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. Tomorrow, I'm going to ask his neurologist to place an order for a hospice evaluation, but I was wondering how long he can continue with very little food or liquid - or not getting up at all?
On April 10th she was barely awake but could communicate and sit upright with the help of pillows. I got her to have a couple of sips of water and an ounce or two of food. She had one piece of butter caramel corn and told me it tasted so good. She loved that so much.
By the next morning she was pretty much in a coma state and passed a day later.
My thoughts and prayers are with you right now. This is a difficult time. Take a moment to step outside and breathe. Look at the stars at night or the green of spring if it's daytime. Relax for a few moments. Be strong for mom. Lean on your loved ones. Talk with them about it if you can. It's scary and it's so sad and it's so darn hard.
Let us know how you are doing, please. It's not a journey you want to take alone.
Someone who is not ambulatory anymore and is taking very little food and water can last up to a couple of weeks in my experience as a nurse. It's an agonizing process for the family and I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. Hospice will take care of you AND your husband. God bless.
Is hospice able to control the suffering? Are they a comfort to you? Ask your questions of them. They have lots of experience with the dying. Use the 24-hour phone number they provided if you need to talk to someone about your mother, even in the middle of the night. Also ask the chaplain or social worker to come visit you.
This has got to be a terribly traumatic situation for you. I hope your memories of your mother when she was healthy are helping you.
It is best to direct all questions to his doctor; especially as to how long he can continue with very little food or liquid. Hugs to you across the miles.
Thinking of you and your mom
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