I am a caregiver for my father, 89 years old with dementia who is in an assisted living home. Dad is struggling, depressed, and sometimes angry. I am the only person who is authorized to see dad, in his home apartment by Dr.’s orders, due to COVID and the fact that I am close. I was seeing a counselor who reminded me that I need to take care of myself. Unfortunately, due to my own depression and emotional response to visiting dad I find it difficult to exercise, and often just feel like taking a long nap after his visits. I also find myself resorting to eating extra food at the end of the day. It seems so easy, right? You need to find diversions for yourself during the time you’re not with them, get interested in projects or things that you could do around your home - I’m retired so those are options. You need to exercise, and get enough sleep. Maybe yoga or meditation will help. But I just find myself lacking energy to do pretty much anything. How are YOU “taking care of yourselves?”
I was a caregiver for my husband for many, many years in our home, and it was very hard and exhausting. I had to learn the hard way that I was just as important to take care of as he was. I joined a local caregiver support group, which used to meet in person before Covid, and now meets on Zoom, and that was a life saver for sure. I also made time with my friends to go shopping, out for lunch or supper, took walks around my neighborhood, went to church, or just sat outside on my patio with a glass a wine to enjoy the scenery. I made sure that I had "me" time, and that was so very helpful in reenergizing me so I could continue on my journey with my husband. It doesn't have to be anything big, but it has to be something.
My husband is gone now, just like your dad will be gone some day, so please try and make the best of your visits, and look for the positive, as there will come a day when you will wish that you had just one more day with him. God bless you.
Of course, you want to be there for your dad. You are equally as important. Do make time to see your friends. Take walks if you don't feel like hitting the gym or even just window shop at the mall.
I suppose that everyone handles exhaustion and stress differently. I do the opposite. If I am stressed or exhausted, I don't eat. I know that isn't healthy but I lose my appetite.
I hope you will find ways to relax and enjoy some time for yourself. One thing that I enjoy is listening to music. Take a walk while listening to music on your phone.
I also like to make jewelry or sew. Don't do giant projects. Even just an hour doing something enjoyable is a break.
Best wishes to you and your dad.