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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Here we have Clern93's background from a post a little while back...
"clern93 4 months ago I am going through a VERY difficult time with my soon to be 92 mother. I am exhausted. I have a part time caregiver come in 30 hrs a week. Then when I get home from work. Its my 2nd full time job. My eldest brother was her caregiver and passed away 8 months ago. He was not taking care of himself and died at 59. Now I have taken the responsibility with no help from my other brother. I am glad to see I am not alone in this situation. But, my mother has some money. Not a lot.. but she will not pay me a cent. She would rather give it to my unemployed recovering alcoholic brother. What am I missing here? Even when we all lived at home as young adults. My dad died when I was 21 and we all had to pitch in. Being the only girl, my mother's expectations were quite high. I worked 40 hrs a week, went to night school and had to tend to the household chores and grocery shopping. I gave my mother $$ every week. My brothers gave her money when they felt like it. SO now she is living in my living room. She is acting like Driving Miss Daisy... but worse. She thinks she is acting absolutely fine. My support system is my fabulous husband and daughter. But. this is the hardest and saddest time of my life. I love my mother.. but nothing prepares you for this. I still need help. In the process of getting IHSS provider. Thanks for listening."
So, clern93, you've sourced a provider? And now the sticking point is your mother lying down in your living room and holding her breath and refusing to go?
The thing is. Your mother can refuse to move into a nursing home. But she cannot refuse to move out of your and your husband's house if you and he insist that she does. I'm not pretending it's easy, just hoping to help you see where the line to be drawn is.
So if she won't move into the NH, you have to put to her, where does she plan to go? 'Cause she ain't staying in your house any more.
Ha! Put her and her things into a cab and send them round to favourite son's house, perhaps..?
I think you've already realised this, but what you really, seriously need to take on board is your older brother's fate. Harden your nose and link arms with your husband on this, because otherwise you're headed the same way.
I think most people don't want to go to nursing homes.........and can you blame them. But the problem is that usually when it's time the person being transitioned into nursing care has dementia or some kind of mental liability not to mention all the physical ones so expecting them to make a logical decision re: their care is usually a waste of time.
My Mom "I am perfectly able to take care of myself" When, if her brain had not been already compromised due to dementia would have probably admitted she needed outside help. But, admitting that is akin to admitting defeat and who wants to do that especially when the thought of a nursing home is aberrant to most people.
Instead of trying to convince your Mom of anything try to explain all the benefits of it to her. Other than that, I don't think there is much you can say to a person that would persuade them to want to go. Think of what someone would have to say to you to make you want to go to a nursing home. Probably not much right..........but if you can think of something, say it and hope for the best. Good Luck to you!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
"clern93
4 months ago
I am going through a VERY difficult time with my soon to be 92 mother. I am exhausted. I have a part time caregiver come in 30 hrs a week. Then when I get home from work. Its my 2nd full time job. My eldest brother was her caregiver and passed away 8 months ago. He was not taking care of himself and died at 59. Now I have taken the responsibility with no help from my other brother. I am glad to see I am not alone in this situation. But, my mother has some money. Not a lot.. but she will not pay me a cent. She would rather give it to my unemployed recovering alcoholic brother. What am I missing here? Even when we all lived at home as young adults. My dad died when I was 21 and we all had to pitch in. Being the only girl, my mother's expectations were quite high. I worked 40 hrs a week, went to night school and had to tend to the household chores and grocery shopping. I gave my mother $$ every week. My brothers gave her money when they felt like it. SO now she is living in my living room. She is acting like Driving Miss Daisy... but worse. She thinks she is acting absolutely fine. My support system is my fabulous husband and daughter. But. this is the hardest and saddest time of my life. I love my mother.. but nothing prepares you for this. I still need help. In the process of getting IHSS provider. Thanks for listening."
So, clern93, you've sourced a provider? And now the sticking point is your mother lying down in your living room and holding her breath and refusing to go?
The thing is. Your mother can refuse to move into a nursing home. But she cannot refuse to move out of your and your husband's house if you and he insist that she does. I'm not pretending it's easy, just hoping to help you see where the line to be drawn is.
So if she won't move into the NH, you have to put to her, where does she plan to go? 'Cause she ain't staying in your house any more.
Ha! Put her and her things into a cab and send them round to favourite son's house, perhaps..?
I think you've already realised this, but what you really, seriously need to take on board is your older brother's fate. Harden your nose and link arms with your husband on this, because otherwise you're headed the same way.
My Mom "I am perfectly able to take care of myself" When, if her brain had not been already compromised due to dementia would have probably admitted she needed outside help. But, admitting that is akin to admitting defeat and who wants to do that especially when the thought of a nursing home is aberrant to most people.
Instead of trying to convince your Mom of anything try to explain all the benefits of it to her. Other than that, I don't think there is much you can say to a person that would persuade them to want to go. Think of what someone would have to say to you to make you want to go to a nursing home. Probably not much right..........but if you can think of something, say it and hope for the best. Good Luck to you!
If it's you, you tell her you can't do it any longer.