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I am the closest person to our LO that my significant other and I care for. I work legit 3 minutes away from our home and my SO is all over the valley sometimes almost an hour away depending on traffic. He works with his father and all of his other family is 30-50 minutes away.


Because of this I will be the first person to act on an emergency situation and we've all made note of that. They've all told me it will be okay because the hospital isn't far away but even then I will still be the only one at the hospital.


What can/do I need to do to prepared myself? Is there an emergency bag I can prepare? Videos? I really have no idea what I'm doing. I know I won't have a panic melt down or anything like that but I would like to be somewhat prepared for anything and everything possible.

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I'd venture to say most of us started caregiving with no idea what we were doing. Good thing we all found each other here! This article is really helpful.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/the-emergency-medical-file-every-caregiver-should-create-428239.htm
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Hi Chloe, I have a bag packed with my husband’s cell ( it’s a dinosaur but he knows how to access his contact list & make/receive calls from his Marine Corps buddies,slippers,diaper briefs ( he’s not comfortable w/the hospital salmon colored diapers,) ,his shampoo,a bar of soap,a cozy fleece throw ( he’s always cold & it’s a reminder of home ),a small plastic sleeve of our new granddaughter’s pictures,MOST IMPORTANTLY his living will,advanced directives & POA.I carry a list of his meds with me ( makes it easy for both me & the nurse ! ),my iPad & Charger,fruit/nuts for me,& a change of clothes &.extra meds for me,since I live farther away than you do from the hospital & sometimes end up staying overnight.
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Yes prepare a bag - in it have a signed form from whoever is medical P.O.A. saying that you can initiate care until they arrive & have it witnessed plus any other documentation that you think you would need like insurance numbers etc just like what you would do if send a kid to summer camp of a week

Then put some money for parking, going to get a coffee etc for yourself - add a light book [short stories or such] that doesn't need concentration - an empty water bottle for yourself & maybe a granola bar [don't feed a hospital patient without permission] - if your LO is aware then take cards to play a game to take their mind off being there - if unaware put in a crossword book [or such sort of thing] for yourself because sitting at a hospital with someone who doesn't communicate is draining on your strength [been there] because doing games on cell phone drains the battery

Put in pad & paper to take notes of every items done along with the dr's name & contact info then you can give it to P.O.A. when they get there - if you take regular meds yourself then put only the essentials 'just in case'

If you have anything that keeps cell battery up put that in too - then take all of it & put in a bright bag [easy to find] & put it on shelf in front closet - tape notes [bring cell phone, take meds, etc] to it for things you need to add at last minute otherwise in a crisis they will be forgotten - then sit back & relax knowing that you have done what you can for now - on the law of perversity, by doing it then you won't need it but if you don't then you will - hope this helps
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Having a emergency bag packed, or at least a list, is a great idea.
You also need a POLST form completed by patient and/or family and signed by the physician. POLST stands for Physician Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment. That is one of the first questions the EMTs will ask. They recommend that these forms be placed on the refrigerator. They will also need to know a brief medical history and what meds he is on. Has he had heart attacks? Is he on blood thinners? Does he have and hardware, stents ports, etc in his body? Does he use inhalers? etc.
They will ask for POA name & contact numbers, Insurance cards & ID card.

Always keep hallways clear enough to pass a gurney through easily. In a life-threatening time, you do not want to have to move furniture for EMTs to get in or out!
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Thank you, caring4alice! That was incredibly helpful. I have our POA helping me set that up now.
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You and SO are not the POAs? If ur going to be the one at the hospital then you need something saying you have a say in his treatment. If LO is out of it, you need someone authorized to sign forms.

Just curious, where are this man's children?
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I kept a tote bag ready for things my Mom or I might need. I had pen/paper, her id's and cards, medication list, doctor numbers etc. I also kept some granola bars, a small bottle of water, and some reading material for myself as often you sit for a long time in the ER waiting for results and doctors. And make sure you have your phone for outside communication.
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If your loved one (LO) is not living with you, you really are not caring for him. He's caring for himself. they can fall on the floor and have no way to communicate that. If they are still "with it"enough to use a medical alert button, then get it for him. Problem is they may forget to wear the button and end up falling with no means of summoning help and be down for hours..or even the entire day. With that respect it is a false sense of security. Meanwhile your LO is down on the ground with possibly a broken hip.
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You are not married to Earl's grandson? Then you really are no relation at all. If the POA tells you to butt out, what recourse do you have? Will she sign a paper giving you authorization to act in his behalf until she or another family member gets there? You said she doesn't like you being "nosy" in the family's business. She obviously doesn't like you shacking up in her relative's house.

HIPPA laws limit what information a doctor can give you. Legally, you are no different than a neighbor or someone who found him on the street.

I always take a book, and cell phone charger. One great thing about my two hospitals is, they have plenty of electric outlets. If you have time, grab something to drink and maybe a nutrition bar for yourself. Remember, don't give the patient any food or liquid in case they want to do surgery. Where I live the hospitals are great on furnishing blankets, pillows, etc for me and hubby. If he is sick enough to be in the hospital, he probably doesn't want to do anything except lay there and maybe watch TV.
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No I have no relation to him. He also cannot take care of himself anymore. We have to do everything because it is hard for him to move about the house and if he falls he can't get up. Just today he called me home from work to help him up. I'm a small girl so I took one of my coworkers with me.
My SO's family is incredibly grateful for me moving in. It had been the two boys for many years and you could tell they needed help. My SO was also so young and his grandfather didn't need our assistance until this past year after his grandmother died and his health severly declined. Our POA just thinks that we are immature and don't understand what's going on but we are trying to learn , prepare, and coordinate so that we have a better understanding. She keeps not only me but also my SO out of the loop on everything even though we are the ONLY ones handling his day to day living, helping him take his meds, and making sure he eats healthy/at all. He gets confused more and more lately. He can't even make a sandwhich because he can't find the silverware that have been in the same place for 15 years.
She says I shouldn't need access to any of this stuff becaus she and other family will arrive shortly after me(minimal 40 minutes). I'm just trying to plan for worst case senarios and she's not helping me at all. Our LO is going to talk to her about it but he doesn't think anything bad will happen to him either.
He even laughed at me for being concerned about him falling and hitting his head. He said oh I'll be fine I'm tough. Like omg.. I'm scared one of these days I'm going to get home after work or during lunch and find him... I've even began to soften all of the hard corners in our house because I'm so stressed. My SO understands why I'm so paranoid but he thinks I'm overboard with the corners which I probably am but geeze.. This is more stress than I've ever had to deal with before.
This is my family now and I'm struggling to take care of it. My SO is burnout my LO keeps falling, and I'm in no control of anything.
My SO & LO are helping me get all of the information we need for the emergency bag and I'm so thankful you all have helped me with what needs to go in it.
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