My mother is 85-years-old and living alone in her home. Three years ago she signed a Durable POA with me as the agent. Unfortunately, she is a covert narcissist and is now showing signs of dementia. She refuses to believe she has a problem, and refuses cognitive testing, and anyone who suggests it she will attempt to destroy. The latest of the past two estate attorneys she has blown through knows she is not making the right decisions, yet keeps letting her run the show the way she wants to regardless of consequences. I was on one phone call with her and the attorney, the very first one. Right off the bat he says my mother is confused. I have not been on a call since and he seems only interested in speaking to her and charging her for consultations that have gone nowhere. Now he wants her to have him on retainer she told me. He also knows her former financial advisor put his name on investments as a beneficiary and he is unaware of what other things she is doing to herself and others. I warned her about this financial advisor for several years and she of course ignored me. She won't even report him for what he did but chooses to be hateful to most people around her, including me. Her doctor's office notified me she has two outstanding bills, only over $100 or so that she refuses to pay and wants to report the doctor for fraud. The doctor is totally innocent of anything. She is on a destruction course with nearly everyone, with the exception of people who will allow her to get her way. If someone signs a Durable POA, and you are trying to act in their best interest and it's blatantly apparent to all involved, how are they allowed to just ignore the DPOA? I find this mystifying. If anyone out there has had a similar experience or knows a way to avoid hiring yet another lawyer to be able to enforce a POA please let me know.
She sounds like she is not a narcissist but paranoid, which is a feature of dementia. If you never had a good relationship with her you are under no obligation to remain her PoA and can resign and let the chips fall where they may. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this mess... many of us on this forum have been there and done that.
Get your own attorney and go for conservatorship unless you're willing to walk away completely.
This means that you need the full diagnostic workup of at least two MDs, one being a neuro-psyc, to say that your mother is incompetent under the law. This may require a court action.
Start with reading your document. It will tell you under what circumstances you can implement the POA. If it DOES NOT TELL YOU THIS then it is likely a worthless piece of paper.
See an attorney to guide you in this.
See an attorney to discuss going for conservatorship action. A court then can appoint an examiner. Do this only if you feel your Mom is in DANGER, and confused. Given that you have had an attorney say he is noting confusion, that may be the attorney you should consult.
Do know that it takes a LOT for the court to take a citizen's rights from him/her. A LOT! Or to request examination for competency against a citizen's will. So do not take this action lightly.
Wishing you the best.
Seems like Mom has a lot of money you need to protect. You may need to go for Guardianship. The cost can be taken from Moms money if you win. But ask a lawyer about this. You will have better control over Mom. You still will need to have her evaluated. Maybe a lawyer can help you with getting her to doctors. But with Guardianship you may be able to go after that Advisor.
Many of us know how a covert narcissist mother never ever makes a mistake. <sarcasm>
https://www.finra.org/investors/need-help/helpline-seniors
Yes, I am in the US. Thank you for the link. We managed to take his name off after it was found out, but that doesn't negate the crime. He has to be reported I agree. It is beyond belief why my mother continues to let him into her home and accept phone calls from him. This is a very confrontational person and for her to do that, there has to be a reason. That's why it is so important for people to keep and eye on these investment people. You don't have to be wealthy these days to be stolen from. There are lots of scams, this guy was one of those who give the free seminars with the free dinners. Don't know if they have them in Canada or not.