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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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It’s difficult. My mom recently died in a hospice house with end stage Parkinson’s disease. She lived with us for 15 years.
Mom was unable to control her bladder. Please speak with his doctor. There are meds. The meds took awhile for us to notice a very slight difference.
Wearing proper underwear helps some (Depends) but they get saturated and need to be changed often. Curtail late night drinking. The hospice nurse told us that sugar increases urinating also.
I hope you get relief soon. Speak with Council on Aging in your area to get a needs assessment for him. He may qualify for additional help in your home. They will send an aide out a few hours a month. That would give you a short break periodically.
Wishing you peace as you navigate your way through this difficult time in your lives. I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.
You may want to consider if you have family that exchanges holiday gifts to request gift certificates for house or carpet cleaning services, or to help purchase a Bissell Big Green Machine to make the carpet clean-up more thorough and easier.
My husband had severe incontinence. He didn't pee all over the house)thank God)but he was up every hour on the hour to have to pee, and being that he was a fall risk, I would have to get up with him. It was exhausting to say the least. His urologist prescribed pretty much all of the known medications to help with overactive bladder, and none helped. The urologist also tried putting Botox in my husbands bladder, as that apparently has been shown to calm the bladder as well. That didn't help either. So finally the urologist recommended that my husband have a supra pubic catheter(a permanent catheter)put in. OMG!!! What a Godsend that was. I was no longer have to get up every hour, to help him, instead I only had to empty his catheter bag twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the evening. You may want to talk to your husbands urologist to see if they would recommend any type of catheter for him, as there as others that are not permanent as well, like a condom catheter. And if it just is getting to be too much for you, it may be time to be looking at placing him in the appropriate facility. Incontinence is sometimes the straw that breaks the camels back. I wish you the best.
Mother has had a supra pubic catheter for YEARS. She still dribbles and leaks, but most of it is contained in the bags. I think she needs a new catheter, but I am not a part of her CG team, so I say nothing. She also wears a depends and 2 thick poise pads. They are saturated all the time. I don't know where the liquid comes from, she doesn't drink more than 24 oz in a day.
As part of his EOL care, dad had a catheter and bag also and he didn't 'leak' at all. I think mother's has been placed wrong?
I agree, the lack of sleep is horrible. I get sick if I don't get my 9 hrs--and I rarely do! And I agree--incontinence is often the last things a CG can handle. Mom's getting awful close.
If your mom is still leaking with having a supra pubic catheter, then something is definitely wrong. Perhaps it's not placed correctly, or just needs to be replaced, or flushed. My husbands' catheter was replaced every 4 to 6 weeks, and sometimes had to be flushed out as well. And if her diapers are still soaked with having the catheter, means that whoever is caring for it, isn't emptying her bag often enough, as that is pretty much the only reason her pee would be backing up into her diaper, or if she has a blockage in the line. Both are easy fixes. Either emptying the bag more or flushing the catheter It might be time to have a conversation with whoever is caring for her catheter, as it really defeats the purpose of having a permanent catheter if your mom is still laying in soaked diapers. Next time you see her, check to see if her bag has been emptied. I only had to empty my husbands twice a day, but your moms may need to be emptied more than that.
This is horrible! Peeing on the kitchen floor is a whole extra layer of issue, IMHO. Guessing maybe he has dementia from the Parkinson's? My FIL used to pee in inappropriate places due to his dementia.
So, yes, I'd be angry too. It's frustrating and tiring and being up at all hours to deal with this over and over is just not a good thing for you. You need some sleep. You need to do something more than clean up pee.
I like the suggestions of a catheter. Does he currently wear a depend type of garment? If not, sounds like a good plan. If he would take it off, I know people have suggested things like long underwear that prevent them from getting at the pullup. I'm sure there must be summer versions of long underwear.
For me, this would be the straw that broke the camel's back and I would look into placing him in a facility. If not, at least get lots of in home assistance. A house cleaner. Someone to sit with him so you can sleep.
Definitely talk to doc about options. Tell him you are burnt out and can't get sleep, etc. The caregiver counts too.
You've got a tough situation. My first advice to you would be that if you have carpeting in your house, pull it up. Get plastic covers or water-proof nylon covers for the furniture too. Trust me it will only get worse. Your whole house will stink like piss and soon enough crap all the time once it gets into carpeting and upholstery. Your husband has to now be strongly encouraged to keep a hand-held urinal with him. This way he can help himself and not worry about making it to the bathroom on time.
I totally understand about the constant cleaning with the incontinence. My husband has had 2 botox injections and each time it seems within a week the flood gates open again with the constant urination. He says he will try it one more time and if no results that is it. He uses 2 depends and a Tena pad at night, but even then most times he is soaked. He has even cut his water and fluid intake, but the urine comes from somewhere and seems to not help to cut down, but you don't want them to be dehydrated. He was in Rehab for 3 weeks and that was the best 3 weeks of my life. No up and down cleaning and changing and cooking. It is hard on them and me as well. On top of that our hot water heater went out and has been out for 9 days, so boiling bathing water and dishwater is added to my plate. I play spiritural encouraging speeches daily to help me get through it. Sometimes he will say he has to go to the bathroom and we get there and nothing comes out. It is a 24/7 job . Many of us do not place them because we need the finances to stay in the home. My husband is also a veteran and no physical body has been sent from their agency yet! NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best Wishes to all in their journey to care for their loved ones
Please don’t hesitate to place your husband in a nursing home. This sounds like it is becoming too much for you. You have to be exhausted 24/7! My gosh, and boiling water on top of your already heavy load! There isn’t any ‘inspirational’ speaker in the world that could help with these issues.
If you wish to hear words that will truly inspire you, contact a social worker to help you plan for your husband’s placement in a facility. Best wishes to you and your husband.
Hello ! Actually my dad has PD and a heavy incontinence and it’s true he is really ashamed of that. He wears Tena pants night and day. Sometimes, but he can have little accidents. I am not a doctor at all but maybe your husband has dementia related to PD, but really I don’t know at all. For my part when he accidentally pees on the floor or on a chair, he gets extremely ashamed so I try to reassure him, telling him it’s okay, he doesn’t have to worry but he has all his cognitive abilities so it’s probably different. I try to as calm and as kind and reassuring as possible with him. Hope it helps, Mary 🧿
Not the best solution, but I was told by dr, SW and APS there needed to be a 2 hour bathroom schedule. So, i sleep in 1.5 hour increments and learned to function. Unless you are willing to place him, that is about it.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Mom was unable to control her bladder. Please speak with his doctor. There are meds. The meds took awhile for us to notice a very slight difference.
Wearing proper underwear helps some (Depends) but they get saturated and need to be changed often. Curtail late night drinking. The hospice nurse told us that sugar increases urinating also.
I hope you get relief soon. Speak with Council on Aging in your area to get a needs assessment for him. He may qualify for additional help in your home. They will send an aide out a few hours a month. That would give you a short break periodically.
Wishing you peace as you navigate your way through this difficult time in your lives. I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.
You may want to talk to your husbands urologist to see if they would recommend any type of catheter for him, as there as others that are not permanent as well, like a condom catheter.
And if it just is getting to be too much for you, it may be time to be looking at placing him in the appropriate facility. Incontinence is sometimes the straw that breaks the camels back. I wish you the best.
As part of his EOL care, dad had a catheter and bag also and he didn't 'leak' at all. I think mother's has been placed wrong?
I agree, the lack of sleep is horrible. I get sick if I don't get my 9 hrs--and I rarely do!
And I agree--incontinence is often the last things a CG can handle. Mom's getting awful close.
So, yes, I'd be angry too. It's frustrating and tiring and being up at all hours to deal with this over and over is just not a good thing for you. You need some sleep. You need to do something more than clean up pee.
I like the suggestions of a catheter. Does he currently wear a depend type of garment? If not, sounds like a good plan. If he would take it off, I know people have suggested things like long underwear that prevent them from getting at the pullup. I'm sure there must be summer versions of long underwear.
For me, this would be the straw that broke the camel's back and I would look into placing him in a facility. If not, at least get lots of in home assistance. A house cleaner. Someone to sit with him so you can sleep.
Definitely talk to doc about options. Tell him you are burnt out and can't get sleep, etc. The caregiver counts too.
Your husband has to now be strongly encouraged to keep a hand-held urinal with him. This way he can help himself and not worry about making it to the bathroom on time.
If you wish to hear words that will truly inspire you, contact a social worker to help you plan for your husband’s placement in a facility. Best wishes to you and your husband.
Actually my dad has PD and a heavy incontinence and it’s true he is really ashamed of that. He wears Tena pants night and day. Sometimes, but he can have little accidents. I am not a doctor at all but maybe your husband has dementia related to PD, but really I don’t know at all.
For my part when he accidentally pees on the floor or on a chair, he gets extremely ashamed so I try to reassure him, telling him it’s okay, he doesn’t have to worry but he has all his cognitive abilities so it’s probably different. I try to as calm and as kind and reassuring as possible with him.
Hope it helps,
Mary 🧿