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My brother, approximately 70 at the time, had a long history of heart disease, diabetes treated with insulin, and an inoperable (because of his heart condition) slow-growing stomach cancer (polyps). He had two daughters to whom he entrusted his health and well-being. He decided to sign over a POA - financial and medical, to his oldest daughter. In the beginning the oldest couldn’t do enough for him; cooking, insisting on taking over all his medication, laundry, taking him to all his doctor appointments, etc.


My brother didn’t have much money, maybe $170K in savings and checking, and received a monthly SS check in the amount of $1363/month. He owned no home, had an old car worth maybe $500 and an antique pick-up truck that was bequeathed to him. He was so proud of that truck.


Shortly after becoming the POA, my brother told me his daughter had drawn up a Will and he was leaving everything to her, his grandson and his other daughter. He told me he was leaving his prized possession, the truck, to his grandson. I forgot to mention, my brother had 4 other children and several grandchildren. About 2 years under her care, he began expressing to me and other siblings concerns that she was giving her son - his grandson whom he had literally raised - thousands of dollars, supposedly for college - money he had saved for just living out his life. It was later discovered, the grandson was using the money for drugs, DUI arrests, car accidents, etc., something my brother suspected himself. Around the age of 73-74 my brother was worrying and crying constantly that he was broke. She would not share his bank statements with him and certainly not the family. The girls were now telling the family he was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. He was given medicine for senility, then he was given medication for seizures, pain medication and Xanax for neuropathy.


During these horrible years, the younger daughter was in and out of jail for selling/buying drugs, driving under the influence, failure to pay child support for her three children which the court ruled in the husbands favor to raise the children.


Fast forward months before his death he realized both girls had maxed out his credit cards and even opened new cards in his name, knowing he wouldn’t have them arrested. In fact, he told me that he told the youngest one he was turning her in and said she laughed at him. My brother prided himself with the fact he had an excellent credit score. He finally found the strength to take back his POA (albeit he thought he was taking back both financial and health - but it only cancelled the Financial). He went to close-out his bank account only to learn that not only was he broke but that his POA had taken out a $12,000 loan in his name. He cried and cried. Since the oldest girl was now not his financial POA she stopped coming by at all and told her younger sister to take him. It was about this time November 2019 he moved in with his younger daughter and her husband. Soon thereafter he was diagnosed with lung cancer. This short stay with her proved just as devastating if not worse because now he was weaker and sicker and undergoing chemo treatments. In April he called the family begging we come get him that she was trying to kill him. When my sister and her husband went to get him the daughter was still screaming profanities at him and was throwing his clothes, medicine and papers in the car. He kept saying to my sister, “hurry, hurry, she is trying to cause me to have a heart attack.” Because of the Coronavirus and the associated scare among the elderly (all of the siblings are in their late 70s and 80s), he ended up in a hotel nearby all the siblings and we tried to care for him by doing his medicine (noting: he had not been prescribed his heart medicine for 4 months, and his insulin was found in contaminated half-used syringes), cooking for him, doing his laundry which was filthy.


I tried to help to no avail. He died 4 days ago. Can I do anything now?

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Mysweetbrother, ugh I'm so sorry your brother and family had to stand by helplessly as this dumpster fire unfolded. I totally understand your desire to right the wrongs he suffered. My question to you is: what would you want the outcome to be? I'm sure your brother's money is long gone and it will cost you lots of your own plus time plus aggravation to go to court to MAYBE get a favorable ruling but then there's no money to collect. Do you want the culprits to go to jail? Do you want them to return the things he promised to other family members? You will need proof of it all, and it seems it is a "he said/she said" affair. May I humbly suggest that this is all very fresh and raw and you may be making decisions from a place of mourning and pain, and not one of logic and reason. You could spend a few hundred bucks to have a consult with an attorney who specializes in elder financial abuse. He/She may indicate you have a strong enough case...or not. Maybe start there if you can afford it. May you have peace in your heart and balm for the pain of your loss.
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cherokeegrrl54 Apr 2020
Very wise words given Geaton. Thank you
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Such a sad story, and such a sad ending.

As to your action, I echo Geaton's query about what you want to do, and what you would hope to accomplish at this point. Do you want to try to recover the money, which probably isn't possible? Do you want to get legal action against the prepetrators?

Before I went any farther, I would list the offenses, the improper use of funds, asses, possible fraudulent execution of documents (if I read you correctly)? Categorize them, list the activities, and what you would hope to accomplish (i.e., recover the assets), then begin research on what action would have to be taken.

I would also contact your state's capital (if the state isn't shut down now) and find out if there's an elder law division, with free legal advice for elders. (Michigan has one; I've used it and gotten good advice). If you can get free guidance, it's a good "reality check" on what could and couldn't be accomplished now.

I might have missed it, but is there an estate involved? Was there a will? (I apologize if I missed that part in your posts but it's hard for me to categorize in a long post as your initial thread starter is. No criticism, just an observation.)
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Thank you both for taking the time to respond.
What do I want? Justice. I know she has a life insurance policy on my brother; he told me so. I would hate a pay-out on this policy when both she and her sister played a part in his tragic demise. I do not want to turn over his only asset left upon his death.
Is fighting this worth it, considering the toll it will take on my own health? I don’t know.
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Mysweetbrother,
What a sad story, I am so sorry your poor brother was put through such a tragic situation. I would talk to an elder attorney and report your findings. I would wait, give it some time for you to grieve the loss of your dear brother and then proceed, if anything, it should give you peace of mind reporting his daughters and hope justice will prevail. I am glad you put him up in a hotel and he had some peace before he died. Shame on those awful daughters!! Drug addicts do not care about anyone, but themselves. They are self absorbed, selfish and mentally unstable. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this sad time. Hugs!
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Mysweetbrother Apr 2020
Thank you, earlybird. I suppose you are right. I am grieving terribly right now. Thank you so much for understanding.
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