I have POA for my mom, Will and AHD all complete. Mom has been living with me in my personal residence for about two years now. We have a large family and I am lucky to receive help from two of my sisters. The remaining siblings have very little if anything to do with mom. No visits, calls just on holidays if mom is lucky. One sister who has been out of the picture for over a year recently came back. She is a hoarder "seriously" and has a mental illness. If I posted pictures your jaw would drop and I am by no means a perfect person. Put that aside - we kept the childhood family home because mom finds peace in visiting there once in a while. The problem is the sister (X) has moved into the family home, she has a home of her own which she is receiving notices and fines for property violations on that property and is literally now destroying moms house. Has removed moms property, bags and bags of stuff all over the house, food, wet rags etc...has had all mail forwarded there, changed drivers liscense to reflect family home address and is confrontational if someone stops by to check property. This has been going on for about a month, it is heartbreaking....mom doesn't want to kick her out because she needs "help". I know I can serve her with something to start the eviction process regardless of what mom wants but, was wondering if anyone had any suggestions. She pays no rent, my mom (me) is still paying the bills for this home. I know I can turn off electric, catolouge the property that is left and all that stuff but, god how I wish there was a normal resolution....I recently left a note advising her I had POA and to return all property which was removed. No response to that...
If she's confrontational in the sense that she's verbally or physically threatening to people who stop by to check on the property, then you can report her to the police, but that would probably only get her charged with a misdemeanor.
If your mother is of sound mind, then it's really her call as the homeowner as to whether sister stays or not. If she's that serious a hoarder, she won't care that the electric and water is turned off. Talking to a lawyer is your best bet.
Good luck.
1. MDOP - malicious destruction of property is a criminal offense, a misdemeanor, I believe. Sister is in fact destroying the property, & making it unliveable, unsanitary and unsafe as well as lowering the property value.
2. If there's a mortgage on the propery, it likely will have a clause requiring that the property be kept in good condition. Sister is breaching that clause, but she's not the mortgagor. If your mother is, the mortgagee (lender) will look to your mother for remediation. It would expect that she would take action to protect the property.
Sounds as if the hoarding sister has destroyed her own property and has moved on to the family home, rather than deal with her own house.
I don't know if this would help, but contact the police and other agencies with jurisdiction over hoarding in the community in which your sister's house is. Let them know she's "abandoned the premises" (use those terms) and has moved to another home to continue the process of destruction.
There might be some level of police intercommunity action that would encourage the police in the family home area to become involved before the situation gets out of hand.
It would also let the police in your sister's home area know that she has left and has a new address where she can be served with any new citations for the abandoned home.
How did she get into the family home in the first place? Did she have a key? Did she break in? If the latter, the police should be notified to pursue charges of unlawful entry, and/or breaking & entry.
Your local county mental health department might be able to offer some suggestions as well - it sounds as though she needs to be in a secure facility with treatment.
I think there's a possibility of getting a PPO against her to prevent her from coming back onto the property but need to think this over a bit more. And I believe she would have to be forcibly removed first.
Hoarding has unfortunately been popularized by tv programs which to me offer some insight and sympathy but are more in the line of the so-called reality series which are exploitational and sometimes just plain disgusting.
It is a serious mental issue, so try to approach it on that basis as well as on the criminal level.
And remember that in the short and long run you're protecting your mother and yourself, and that whatever happens to your sister COULD and hopefully would result in getting treatment for her that could help stabilize and improve her life.
Good luck; I wish you the best with this challenging and unsettling situation.
There is an option that an attorney might suggest. It's to file a petition for ex-parte restraining order, asking that your sister be removed from the premises and/or enjoined from causing it to deteriorate further. Other requests can include being ordered not to come within x feet of the property and/or to clean up the mess that's been created thus far.
Ex-parte means that the parties don't have to appear; the judge would consider the issues and either sign or not sign the ex-parte order, which would then be served on your sister.
You might also consider notifying the neighbors in the family home area as they likely have noticed your sister and her activity.
If you explain to them that your sister didn't have permission to move in, that you're addressing the issue, and that they should feel free to call code enforcement if the hoarding involves yard deterioration, they won't blame you or your mother. And their complaints might accelerate a resolution.
Further thoughts on the anguish your mother must be experiencing...her daughter needs help. If this were another situation in which one of her children was suffering, she probably wouldn't hesitate to find ways to help.
If her daughter was ill with the flu, having a seizure, hit by a car or experiencing some other emergency, Mom wouldn't wait it out. She'd intervene. And intervention now is the best thing she can do as things are not going to get better without some type of intervention.
It's unfortunate that mental illness carris with it such a stigma.
Your mother can truly help her daughter if she pursues action to address the situation, sooner rather than later.
Please keep us posted.
You have a moral responsibility to assist your mentally ill sister.
I am sorry you are in a situation where those responsibilities are not easy to reconcile.
But I think the other posters are correct. It is NOT a kindness to your sister to enable her to continue her self-destructive actions. Take legal steps to protect Mom first, and then do what you can to get genuine help for your sister. Allowing her to destroy assets mother may need later for her own care is not helping Sis.
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