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My husband has been fully disabled for about 19 yrs, and his health has continually gotten worse and since his mom passed in 2018 he has went down majorly. Now he's to the point he wants to die but refusing any medical treatment. I'm at a brick wall.

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Your husband is very young at 52.

Can you take a tough love approach with him? Tell him you will honour his wishes, but first you want to get all his paperwork in order, Will , POA etc. Tell him this will protect you. If he gets DNRs documented, then he will not have to worry about being resuscitated.

Take him to your local funeral home to plan his funeral. Tell him he needs to do this to lessen the burden on you.

Remind him that with diabetes, if he does not manage his blood sugar he is at risk of stroke and life after a stroke could be more challenging that life today.

Ask him to attend one more appointment with his doctor. Attend with him and ask the doctor to outline his probably outcome as he stops his medications. Ask the doctor about Palliative and hospice care and what is available to your hubby.

A friend's Dad decided after being diagnosed with cancer a second time that he had no more fight left in him. He had type 1 diabetes, was on dialysis for kidney failure. In discussion with his doctor he decided to stop dialysis. It was expected that he would slip into a coma in a couple weeks and die in hospital. He died at home within a week. He was in his early 60's.
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Not sure what state you are in, but Armstrong Cremations can answer some questions for funeral stuff. Cremation is less expensive. and this place allowed me to pick up the ashes when they were ready. You can plan and arrange a funeral anytime after the ashes are released to you. Made things easier for me. talk about what he wants as far as burial or cremation.

DO GET THE LIVING TRUST DONE.
DO GET THE POA DONE HEALTH AND FINANCES, this may be included in the living trust.

DO GET THE DNR. And if he really wants to die, make sure the DNR refuses kidney dialysis, or any life sustaining methods. I think that was implied by DNR. oh well.

TOT HILL is right.. get these things in place.

when its done and said, maybe take a small day trip somewhere to relax.
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haileybug Nov 2020
We claiming life.
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Hi Lilhillbilly, I’m sorry your husband is feeling such despair. Is he treated for his depression? If so, maybe his meds need adjusting/changing? You mention he refuses to see a doctor. Have you considered having a home visit by a medical professional? Years ago my Mom was very deep into depression. She would not get out of bed and only wanted to sleep. Her meds were no longer working for her. A change was made (after dragging her to her Dr) and she feels so much better. Nothing to lose. Best of luck.
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Oh, no. We claiming life for your husband. He is too young to want to give up.

See if you can get a home visit with a doctor.
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