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I’ve been caring for her, in her home for the last 7 months and she’s gotten progressively worse. Does she need to be diagnosed? My main problem is her anger. I try to keep her calm and happy, I’m positive if I mention her delusions and memory lapses that she’ll explode. She’s 82 and physically healthy otherwise. I don’t know what my next steps should be. Advice is welcome...Thanks!

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I would skip the neurologist for now and get her to a geriatric psychiatrist for her moodiness, possible depression and anger.

If she explodes...so what? When you were a teenager, did your parents ever say " my house, my rules"?

She is living with you. You have the ability to determine who lives in your home and if your mother being there is causing you stress, I'd be inclined to politely tell her that this arrangement is not working out and that you will help her find other accomodations.
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LouiseH2663 Feb 2020
Thank you, I am actually living in her house now. I love her and my goal is to help her not to wash my hands of her. A geriatric psychiatrist is a helpful idea.
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When your Mother is calm, would you consider starting a little chat to ask her about the last incident? See what insight she had? If something particular is worrying her (eg: items are missing, she can't find them, getting things mixed up). If she can open up to you - great. Tell her you are on her side. Maybe you could go together to talk the Doctor as you've noticed things have got a bit hard for her lately.

Of course you may get an earful instead... in that case I'd have a quiet chat to her Doctor yourself. If it is a dementia, although sadly no cure exists, many find medications to help with anxiety/mood beneficial. The Doctor will need to see her, rule out other causes & refer onto specialists. Barb knows her stuff with Geriatricians - get one of those of you can!

The old trick of barging into the Doctor's office when you drive her there worked for me! Sat myself down & after the pleasantries, said "I'm a bit concerned... Can you help?". It started a conversation that needed to happen for the greater good.
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Thank you. I did talk privately with her primary care Dr and was advised to take her to a neurologist. Dr wasn’t inclined to pursue a diagnosis that day. Right now, I’m going to keep her to a normal routine and talk to her about seeing another Dr.
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Yes good. Maybe just casually mention there is a Doctor apt coming up... On the day, when nearly there, casually mention "oh your Doctor made an appointment here for you today instead, that's a bit different but we trust Dr so that's OK". A good friendly receptionist may welcome her with smiles (pre-warned).

I get no no no if the conversation is too early but she won't make a scene in public. You know her best - it will be about being *creative* more & more. Best of luck!
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