My mom is 55 and has dementia and I think anosognosia. She is still a very active person and otherwise healthy. I work full time and worry because she has memory issues. I'm in the process of applying for long-term care through the state, but it is taking forever due to her lack of memory and paperwork so I have to try to track everything down. But that is for another time. Whenever she wants something she will go to great lengths to lie and create stories or ask strangers to do things for her. She wanted cigarettes and I didn't take her fast enough so she went for a walk and asked a neighbor, that she just met, to take her. She is also obsessed with finding a boyfriend and is constantly on the 'lookout'. The weird part is she only dates men in their 70s or 80s, which is much older than her. I think it is because she might feel like she relates more with them based on her dementia. However, I also think she also knows she can get what she wants from them that I won't give her. One big issue recently is that she thinks she can't fall asleep without some sort of sleep aid. Her last boyfriend (before she moved in with me) gave her marijuana to help her fall asleep. She now thinks that is the only way to sleep. So when she moved in with us she tried to bring that in our house. However, I have two small kids and she was leaving it out where they would find it or trying to smoke in the house. I told her she needs to find other ways to help her sleep and began having her take melatonin. Her newest boyfriend is one of my neighbors who is a disabled 70 year old man with a medical marijuana card. She has now begun smoking again. Last night I caught her with some that she brought into my house. This is the third time since I told her she can't have it here. I'm at my whits end! How do I deal with someone like this? Anyone else have a parent that lies and manipulates to get what they want? How can I stop this behavior?
As for the cigarettes/marijuana, you can use "theraputic fibs" to get Mom to cooperate. Tell her that the children are wondering why Grandma smells like an ashtray. Plus if the children hug Grandma, even hours later, that marijuana partials can get onto their skin [metabolites] from Grandma's clothes, her hair, and her skin, especially the hand she uses to smoke.
If your Mom is leaving marijuana out in the house and one of the children eats it, it can cause the child to become very ill, such as acute marijuana intoxication.
Sadly your Mom isn't going to stop her habit, so it is time to tell Mom that she has 30 days to find new housing. Look around for income based rentals where Mom's rent will be based on her income.