I am trying my best to care for my 73 year old mother while trying to still have a life in my 30's. She started showing signs of psychosis months ago which ended up causing her to be in a psych hospital on three separate occasions. She lives alone and while she is in psychosis is adamant that she doesn't need help. She can be beliegerent and defiant at times which have caused my severe anxiety when dealing with her as I don't know how she will treat me at any given moment. In times of psychosis she also wanders which gets the police involved.
We have asked her if she would like for my brother and I to have POA to help her in the event she can no longer take care of herself. She stated that no one will have power over her and disowned us.
After the most recent hospital stay she came home and still exhibited some confusion, but was much Iike her herself which was a relief. From dealing with how she was the last two releases my anxiety and constant worry won't allow me to function and enjoy her moments of clarity.
Because she still has moments of clarity and can care for herself we feel like guardianship would be a long and expensive up hill battle. We ask family for help, but they only give suggestions and tell us to research things on our own which is overwhelming. We are not in a place financially to have an in home aide and don't have the heart to have these difficult conversations with Mom about assisted living or group home because we don't want to trigger her. It would be nice if family could take turns coming to visit her while at home, but they rarely do.
I'm overwhelmed and I feel like running away from the situation and I don't have the strength to be her caregiver, but i feel like I can't walk away. How do you cope?
Apologies - I get angry just thinking how many times I've been frustrated and humiliated (one social worker questioned *my* sanity, because I was trying so hard to have the rehab get their staff psychiatrist just interview her to about her many paranoid delusions! They wouldn't, and they discharged her early at her request!), and my mother has been abandoned, left to destroy her life with her madness.
Point - should have gotten to the point two paragraphs ago - you *may* have to become more + more assertive in trying to get help for your mother. If one thing doesn't work, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep on keepin' on. Persist, and know we've all been through the mill, and we're rooting for you!
This is a very hard lesson to learn and no one helped me.
Moving out in less than two months as I have a townhouse that I can live in by myself with my two dogs, They won't have a yard anymore but dogs adapt, My mother has four cats three on the patio obese, They pee on the floor every night so I have to clean it up and i am allergic to ammonia so I got sick so I wear a intense mask to avoid the situation. They were 50 pounds when I got here now they are 30 pounds a piece. They were sick and not being taken care of correctly.
There is another cat in the garage with the new 50 thousand dollar mistake my mom bought and has no license.
My mother has been on her own for 11 years with her family of cats that get treated better than her own daughter,
So get out and live your life before its too late and you are seeing a therapist about the situation like me.
I'm done mom is going to be 94 probably live to be 100 years old. Fine I am gone with my children to get some much needed rest and sleep for my mind body and soul. And my dogs are very nervous with her tv blasting at 100 everyday all day long. She screams if something is out of place. Oh My God I have to give it to him to save my life.
Hope you get out soon.
Seek a therapist from your insurance if you have any.
Peace I'm getting my life BACK.
This is not for me I have a business degree not a healthcare degree as my other cousin takes care of her sister in another state he does not live with her so he told me you made a valent effort to attempt to help her get out and life your life that way when I come over I'll stay the night if she is scared or i will stop by clean the cat pee and make sure they are alive and go home to my PEACE.
Hope this helps I am gone
Prayers for you my dear
What got me to leave my comfortable life in another state the lawyer and the police called me at work. Lawyer said your mother has lost her mind so come down and start paying her bills online.
Well
My family are over 900 to 1500 miles away. No help for me there.