My grandmother lives in California, and I and my family live in Louisiana. She has stage 4 cancer and is on hospice. From what I've heard, she's losing her eyesight and is slowly going in and out. She's been given morphine and Lortab for pain. But her caregiver says that people (who are not family) are coming into the house and are taking very expensive purses from the house and they are basically saying what they want dibs on when she dies. From what I know, she has a will, and once she passes the house and the contents of the house belong to my family. It's hard for us to get out to California now due to money and the coronavirus. My aunt is out in California with her now, but these people are basically asking my grandmother if they can have things, and she's just saying yes while she's not in her right mind. So basically my question is: Is there anything that my family can do to stop these people from ransacking my grandmother's house? I hope I'm not sounding selfish, I just don't want my grandmother to be taken advantage of in this state.
So, you called your aunt about it and she said...?
The only way I can see this happening - with no one intervening as a matter of course - is that the rapacious people are friends of your grandmother who are being welcomed into the house as visitors and are then - bizarrely, but there's nowt so queer as folk - nominating their own keepsakes. Which I personally would find repellant, if it's happening like that, and if I were your aunt I would give them a "have you lost your mind" look; but then again isn't it more likely that your grandmother is actually giving things away while she can?
Even very expensive purses, once pre-owned, are not things that nobody would give to a friend.
Your grandmother may be giving her friends purses and costume jewelry and other stuff she doesn't think your generation would appreciate and her friends are happy to receive and enjoy wearing/using. Once she started making gifts, other friends may have heard about it and starting asking for something they want/admire. Seniors, particularly those who were raised during the depression or WWII, do not like to see anything unused or wasted and would rather give it away to someone who will use and appreciate it.
If your grandmother and aunt are unconcerned, I don't think you should be either. Until she dies, your grandmother's property is hers to dispose of as she wishes and the will handles the rest.
You are a long way away and she has had a life that you have not seen, so let her do whatever she wants with her belongings, quite frankly it is not your business until she is dead and gone, until then she can do what she wants.
I don't know that I would trust the caregiver, maybe she is the one taking expensive items and covering it up by accusing others, you don't know what is really happening, maybe your aunt will be able to clarify what is going on.
I am sorry that you are losing your grandma, but let her go out how she chooses.