The manager said the staff has started locking my aunt out of her room during the daytime because she keeps making a mess with her belongings. My aunt doesn’t know what she’s doing. That creates extra work for them because they clean her room daily. The manager also said the staff only allows her to return to her room at bedtime.
However, when I asked the executive manager and a lower level staff member about it they said that she was Not locked out of her room. It sounds like the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing.
I am not allowed to visit in her section because of Covid-19. My aunt is very forgetful and I can’t rely on what she says. How do I find out the truth and correct the problem, if needed? She’s paying a lot of money and they have no right to lock her out of her private room. It sounds like the staff is punishing her for inconveniencing them.
Call your governor’s office or just ask the facility if cameras are allowed.
Are you friendly with the families of any other residents in your aunt's care facility? It's never a bad idea to get to know family members of other residents who visit at different times.
If you can get friendly with a few, it only takes a second for one to walk past your aunt's door and see if it's locked or not.
With Covid going on, this isn't possible right now. It might not even be possible for you to slip one of the aides a bit of cash incentive on the down-low to tell the truth about what's going with your aunt at the facility. Until Covid restrictions are lifted your aunt will have to put up with it.
I would wonder how she is "trashing" it. Like u say, you may be able to remedy that. Take things away she doesn't need. Put them high on a shelf where she can't reach. I find that aides don't look for solutions. Like with my Mom, aide told me she wasn't brushing her teeth. My response, "are u putting the toothpaste on the brush and handing it to her" response "no". I am not a trained aide and I knew that much.
The states oversee MCs. I would call your State Ombudsman and ask if this is legal. She is a resident (not patient) and is paying rent, alot of rent. I would also ask the director of the AL if it was possible to have a meeting with all the people together that u have talked to because their info is conflicting. It can be held outdoors. Stress you would like to get to the bottom of what the problem is so u can solve it. Because, you feel that your Aunt rights are being infringed on. She pays big time for that room and she needs to be able to use it when she wants.
With a year gone from Covid, (new room), I know she naps for a short time after lunch.
In every situation (more than 3) in which I’ve dealt with a Loved One living in residential care, it has been my personal experience that the “....have no right...” “....punishing her...” approach to oversight has not usually proven as effective as
“....I was wondering about why....” or “.......could you keep me in the loop if......”.
My LO is also in a very nice, well run MCU, and also pays A LOT to be there. You sound like a loving, conscientious care giver, and I hope I do too. I’ve also been in a Covid hot spot for over a year, and despite absolutely METICULOUS attention, my LO DID get, and recover from Covid, and I got it and recovered too.
Covid has been a ruin to so SO MANY, and the anxiety alone of not being able to surveillance her life has been torment. I know I’m not giving you much by way of answers, but I’m hoping it helps at least a tiny bit to know that you’re not alone in trying to puzzle this stuff out.
I wish you could be a fly on the wall to see for yourself. It’s one room. How much mess can she possibly make? Do they tell you exactly what kind of mess?
How do you know who to believe with hearing conflicting stories?
Do they allow cameras? Is it legal in your state?