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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You can’t change the behavior and words of a person with dementia, the brain is broken and not capable of learning or doing better. You’ll have to limit your exposure, take breaks and walk away
Perhaps she is speaking loudly because she knows you are having a hard time understanding her. Folks often speak up when they can’t be understood. She may be upset or frightened. She may be watching your facial expressions and trying really hard for you to understand her. Will she allow you to hold her hand? To pat her knee or put your hand on her arm? Perhaps just be with her and lotion her hands and arms. Speak soothingly to her. See if you can have a pleasant connection. I see on your bio that you are with her 12 hours a week. Is brother with her when you aren’t? Could it be that she is objecting not to you but to your brother not being there? The elderly can become so attached to their primary caregiver that they don’t want the caregiver out of their sight. Does brother have an easier time with her than you? Does he understand what she wants or is saying? Does she get angry with him or is it just when you are with her that she gets upset? Can she still read and write? Perhaps you can ask her to write what you can’t understand. Are you with her those twelve hours to bath her? My DH aunt is very rude to her bathers at times. Another day she is grateful. Im sorry you are having this problem. It could be so many things that are distressing her. Talk to your brother. And as always, if it’s new or worse behavior, be sure to check for a UTI.
Your profile says your brother manages her affairs. Can you request he talk to her doctor about possible medication for her foul-moods? Many on this forum have had good success with meds. Also, inventing words means her dementia (or a TIA or stroke) impacted the portion of her brain that controls speech. She may actually believe she's saying the appropriate word but it doesn't come out of her mouth correctly. It's hard for the both of you!
Speak to mom's doctor about anti-depressants which can help a LOT with demented elders and their 'foul moods' which can last for hours. An SSRI anti depressant has helped my mother (with advanced dementia) and her foul moods quite a bit. She's gone from chronic sniping & spitting out her words to a more relaxed mood in general, thank God.
Other than that, there is no way to change what a demented elder says or does. Once they get an idea into their head, it can't be chopped out of there with an axe, no matter HOW many times you try to 'correct' it. Don't even bother trying, that's my suggestion. Leave the room when the ugliness gets going, which is all you can really do.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I see on your bio that you are with her 12 hours a week. Is brother with her when you aren’t? Could it be that she is objecting not to you but to your brother not being there? The elderly can become so attached to their primary caregiver that they don’t want the caregiver out of their sight. Does brother have an easier time with her than you? Does he understand what she wants or is saying? Does she get angry with him or is it just when you are with her that she gets upset?
Can she still read and write? Perhaps you can ask her to write what you can’t understand.
Are you with her those twelve hours to bath her? My DH aunt is very rude to her bathers at times. Another day she is grateful.
Im sorry you are having this problem. It could be so many things that are distressing her. Talk to your brother. And as always, if it’s new or worse behavior, be sure to check for a UTI.
Have you talked to your brother? - it's possible she does exactly the same with him, you could compare notes about what's triggering it.
Other than that, there is no way to change what a demented elder says or does. Once they get an idea into their head, it can't be chopped out of there with an axe, no matter HOW many times you try to 'correct' it. Don't even bother trying, that's my suggestion. Leave the room when the ugliness gets going, which is all you can really do.
GOOD LUCK!