A hospice nurse was in to see mom last week, and has since tested positive. Now my husband (who is an essential worker) is afraid for his job, and is insisting that I stop going over to help. They cannot be alone, and everyone is stressed out and working as much as they can. I don't feel like I can not go over, they need me to help mom get fed and trips to the bathroom and ready for bed. How should I delicately handle this? I feel as if I have to choose between my parents and my husband. He has been very understanding for the most part until now.
Your husband is in fear. And it is irrational. The solution to fear is .1. knowledge and .2. Love. The medical studies (studies from pubmed which will come up on the search are written in simple terms, so he can read & understand them also)
You only get one Mother per lifetime. Enjoy her love & kindness while she is here
I understand your need to care for your parents. God bless you for being there!
I also know it's a lot to ask of your husband, but is it feasible for you to stay with them during the incubation period?
It might make sense if you've been with them after the Covid positive caregiver was.
Hang in there!!
Medicare pays for you to get respite care to give you a break. A nursing facility wont take her till a 14 day is past. It sounds like your "it". Protect yourself and tell your husband, you gotta do it.
I think too many people are relying on testing. If it's not done properly, the test is useless. Done properly, it is very uncomfortable and I would not subject my elderly parents to it unless they were in the hospital. And I've heard that everyone now is being assumed positive and given drugs for symptom management. There is no cure. Reality is, your parents need help. I would focus on you taking precautions. Your parents also should be wearing masks while you're in the house.
If my brother had been home I would probably move over to his home and get the proper protection gear and tons of bleach and soap. Can you get your parents tested? There are so many changes and ifs. If it was me I would do what my conscience tells me and take the measures necessary to stay safe. God bless safe passage whichever way you choose.
I think it's a hard one whether to keep visiting your Mother - as the potential damage has already been done really. Now it will be a watch & wait for 14 days for symptoms - for your Mother, anyone in that household, you, your DH & then all your contacts.
I suppose the choices are not going to visit for 14 days, visiting but in/out with PPE (mask, gloves, an old coat as a 'gown') or staying the 14 days with your Mother?
If any symptoms, ask to be tested. My fingers are crossed for you!
Talk with your husband about his concerns and your concerns. Maybe make a chart to list everything down. Some couples continue to social distance at home during this pandemic. Others choose to wear face masks, gloves, social distance, and be diligent with hand washing while out of the home so they can relax those protocols when together. The goal is to come together for a solution that each person will be comfortable with.
I don’t think you should be visiting daily back & forth. either you don’t go and hire a caregiver full time for the time being or you go and stay there, have your husband fend for himself...he’s a grown up.
Sometimes you need to do what you have to do, have you been tested?
Good luck and stay safe.
I just want to add I think it is best if we leave any mention of politics at all off this site. Caregiving is hard and the pandemic has made it much more difficult. Everything now is bad enough without introducing that divisive topic.
And make sure you wash your masks daily!!! Hand wash at night, hang up, dry in the morning.
I would say, quarantine yourself in ur home for the next 14 days. Take a bedroom and stay there? Wear a mask at your Moms. Strip and shower when you come home. Wash hands all the time.